Too Gay For You
by Jaymili
Summary: Edward Cullen, a lawyer,needs a new nanny for his niece and nephew,Esmeralda and Carlisle. All the Nannies are either driven crazy by the little devils or trying to get into his pants and Edward is tired of it. Comes Isabella Swan, his assistant's sister, proclaimed tomboy and unable to keep a stable job. He thinks she's a lesbian,the perfect nanny. Is she or is it the perfect lie?
1. Chapter 1 - Born This Way

_**Jay's Corner:**_

**Bonjour Everybody!**

**This is my second story on FF and I have to say _I am nervous as hell_. I don't know why… I guess it's because that story can be seen as judgmental by some. So before you put your big humanists' hats on guys: I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY! **

**Voilà! I said it!I am not gay but It doesn't bother me in any way. I'm even dedicating this chapter to all French lesbians and gays! Congratulations on obtaining your wedding rights!**

**For the rare ones who have read my other story – _Please, Take care of Mommy_ – well… This is a 180° turn! _Too Gay For You_ is a comedy that I let fall in the romance cauldron! (That doesn't mean you shouldn't try and read _PTCOM_! *cheeky*!) Actually, this is the adaption of an Asian drama called _Down with Love_. I just mixed my two loves **

**_Too Gay For You_**** IS NOW A FULL STORY! Yeah I know you love me!**

**Let me be clear before we start. I don't want anyone coming in here to write offending reviews about people's sexual orientations. I will immediately report those. And please no flames!**

**And… That's it… See you at the bottom for Fics Recommendations! (I have a lot of those in store for you)**

**A lot of Thanks, hugs and candies to my Omega (I don't like the word Beta… so yeah) Amaryllis-Amy (On FF)! You're wonderful, girl!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

* * *

_**Too Gay For You**_

**_Chapter 1: Born This Way_**

_It's hot…_

_It's too hot…_

_I'm thirsty and sweaty… and thirsty…_

_If I die in this heat, bury me with my glasses, pretty please... I think I look cool with them._

Her last thought made her snort. _That_ was the kind of situation only she could find herself in. When Bella took that job as a dog walker, she was thinking "cute, furry little thing" and not "beast, almost human size making her run all around the park". Now she is lying down on the soft grass in the park, after returning _Hulk_ to his master, under the too hot sun, not having any energy left to pull herself up. Her bob styled wig was making her itch, and her thick, black framed glasses were sticking to her skin.

_Ugh, this, right now must be my nonsexiest moment ever_, she said to herself, and all of that only for a small amount of money. The thought made her blood boil.

Inner Bella immediately gave her the "mental bitch slap".

_Now, now, we don't have time for a pity party, Swan! Work, work, work means money, money, and again, MONEY._

That's right! She indeed didn't have time to complain about her life. It was only her and her sister, and Bella's inability to keep a stable job meant that they were mostly living on her sister's salary. After all these years, they still hadn't managed to finish paying off the house their father had left unpaid before deserting them, taking their brother with him. On top of that, the rent for the little house they were residing in was due soon. It was only two rooms and bathroom, but it was still something, no need for more. Under the circumstances, she understood why Rosalie was so adamant on saving every penny possible.

Getting up from the floor, Bella passed her hands on her too large jeans and readjusted her glasses. They were fake ones, only an accessory, but their purpose was clear: _Keep the bugs away._

In her vocabulary _bugs_ was just another way to say _men_. She didn't hate them at all; she even had a boyfriend and salivated in front of pictures of Orlando Bloom too, however she was conscious that she wasn't completely ugly and just didn't have the time to deal with them. Therefore, she was constantly wearing a short cut wig, hiding her long brown hair, and thick, ugly glasses. Some days, she would even paint a bunch of ugly looking little red points across her cheeks.

_Yeah, the perfect package to keep men at bay. Take that Casanova! Try to seduce me and see! _She thought smugly. She was jolted out of her thoughts by her phone ringing. She retrieved the big _engine_ from her jeans pocket and quickly looked at the ID.

_Rosalie. _Great.

Bella loved her sister dearly, she really did. Nonetheless, her obsession for money must be taken care of and fast. It was seriously bordering on the crazy side.

"How much!" _Figures._

"Hello my dear sister, how are you on this beautiful day? I am well, thank you, Rosalie, you? Oh, I am good too! It's so refreshing to see that we share such a fraternal love, right, _Rosie_?" Bella said sarcastically. She knew how much her sister hated that nickname.

"Oh shut it Swan! Just tell me how much already! And don't call me Rosie!" She screeched on the phone.

"Eeeesh, calm down woman! I made around a hundred and bits…" her voice was low at the end. She already knew what was coming.

"Uh-huh. And when is your next day of work?"

_Here comes nothing._

"Ikindagotfired," she mumbled hoping her sister wouldn't catch it. No such luck, Rosalie was a freak with super hearing, she heard it loud and clear.

"Isabella Swan, Tell me you didn't just say you got fired?" Rosalie almost growled.

"You didn't just say you got fired?" she knew she was pushing her buttons but she already lost her job anyway so why not have a little fun?

"Don't play with me, Swan! You had better find a job by tomorrow or I swear…"

"Ok, ok, I get it, no need to put your panties in a bunch. Are we still on for lunch?" they had an important event to attend to at lunch today.

"Yeah, of course. I hope you are ready and didn't eat breakfast! Our future depends on you and that big stomach of yours!"

_Dramatic much…_

"Don't worry, Sis! Food is my area of expertise," Bella stated proudly.

"'Kay Bye!" In a true Rosalie Swan fashion, she hung up without letting Bella utter another word. She shrugged, used to her sister crazy behaviour. She stared at her phone for a second, wondering when she will be able to replace the ancient thing.

_Seriously, I could crush bricks with this thing…_Straightening her posture, she starts toward the busy streets giving herself a pep talk_._

_Let's get a job Bella!_

* * *

On the other side of town, opposite from the carefree setting of the park, a meeting was taking place at the top of the Cullen Building. Three men and a woman were sitting around a classy looking black square table. You could cut the air with a knife. One of the men, however, seemed completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere. Twirling his pen fast around his long fingers; he was smirking slightly, waiting for the moment when they will crack.

_First step: Create a tense atmosphere. Check._

"Well Mr. Cullen? You made us come all the way over here so I assume you have a good reason."

He said nothing, only ran his hand trough his gorgeous, copper coloured hair and leaned back against his chair.

"A proposition maybe?" the man probed again.

Still nothing.

"Will you please say something?" he was getting pissed now. Perfect.

_Step Two: Make them lose patience. Check._

Finally, Mr. Cullen started speaking in a low, almost seductive voice, "Two days ago, my client, Mrs. Stanley here, received a notification stating that her husband, your client, is accusing her of not being able to uphold her marriage commitment by having an affair."

"Someone set me up!" The woman huffed. Mr. Cullen laid a calming hand on her shoulder. Then he got up and started pacing behind her chair.

"So your client is requesting for a divorce with my client, is that correct?" he questioned.

"Yes it is," answered the other attorney, Mr. Jones. All this time, the third man, an old looking gentleman just kept silent, like his lawyer instructed him too.

"Then what about the alimony?" Mr. Cullen inquired, raising one perfect eyebrow. Mr. Jones guffawed, a loud, clearly exaggerated laugh before righting himself.

"Mrs. Stanley didn't tell you? Before they got married, she signed a prenuptial agreement and they went to the courthouse to fill a properties settlement system. Therefore, my client will not pay a dime," he smiled clearly proud of his little tirade.

"You said you would take care of me for the rest of my life!" Mrs. Stanley cried.

"Back then, you also said that you did not marry me for my money," replied calmly Mr. Jones's client. Mr. Cullen scratched his chiselled jaw slightly and looked down, his face a mask of sadness.

"Mr. Stanley, after all those years of marriage, don't you have even a little bit of heart?" He asked seemingly sadly. The other attorney laughed again shaking his head.

"I never thought I would ever see 'the infamous, unbeatable Edward Cullen' rely on the sympathy act to win some alimony," he snorted. "And I thought you had some amazing trick up tour sleeve!" It was Edward's time to laugh.

"Alright, since you gentlemen are still so insistent, we will see each other in court." Cullen said, still chuckling.

_Step Three: make them think they can mount on your head. Check._

Mr. Stanley and his attorney hastily got up and started making their way to the door. However, Edward's soft voice cut them short, "At that time, my client will reveal the truth to the world, and we will let the judge decide." He was now dead serious, all trace of prior amusement leaving his voice. They turned around, their focus back on the beautiful attorney.

"What do you mean?"

"Mr. Stanley insufficient virility has caused my client to not to have even a little bit of a sex life. I think using this fact; the court might make you pay compensation. Otherwise, not uploading her marriage commitments is enough." Edward had a smug smirk plastered on his face when he took the faces of the opponent side.

Mr. Stanley's wrinkled face turned to face his former wife making her recoil a little into her chair.

"You wretch! How can you drag that issue into this matter?" he shrieked. Edward Cullen came around the table holding something in his hand.

"This is the Viagra my client found in your shared bedroom, a_nd,_ this is the medical evidence provided by the hospital proving that you are having problems with you prostate gland."

Mr. Jones butted in, "That doesn't prove that he has problem having sex!" He was getting worked up. _Good._

"If not, why would Mr. Stanley here even use Viagra? Moreover, the amount used… isn't small at all," The last part was whispered. Slowly, Edward made his way back to his chair, crossing his long legs and tilting his head back, a picture of ease.

"Such a major gossip worthy situation," he whispered wistfully, "I am sure the paparazzi will be interested…Maybe by that time, it will make me discover even more," he smirked. "For example, when Mr. Stanley became impotent, and how he became impotent…"

_Step four: Rub it in his face. Check._

He went on, "After spending so much money, and yet to have no evidence of improvement, no wonder such a young and beautiful wife would go out to meet people," he finished, gesturing to a blushing Jessica Stanley.

Finally Mr. Stanley completely snapped, "Shut up! You keep on saying that I can't do it. If I am impotent, then why would my secretary be pregnant? Huh?"

Loud gasps were heard around the room. Edward just smiled lazily.

_Strike!_

He raised two fingers and stated, "We want two".

"Two million?"

Edward snorted. "Of course not. Twenty million. After all, I heard that deal you sealed not long ago was worth a lot right? Here are the papers. Sign."

Behind his serious expression, Edward was rejoicing.

_Who's da Boss? I'm Da Boss!_

Ladies and gentlemen, _that's_ how Edward Cullen works.

* * *

Getting out of the elevator at the top floor of his building, Edward Cullen made his way to his office, greeting his secretary and assistant with a cheerful smile. "Good morning Miss Swan."

"Morning Mr. Cullen" she greeted back, "If my guess is right, that smile means the meeting went well?" she asked. After working with him for the last four years, Rosalie knew all about his moods. They started working together from the day the firm was opened and considered each other more like friends than co-workers. If Edward had to entrust his firm to someone, it would be, without a doubt, to Rosalie Swan.

"You guessed correctly, Rosalie! You should have seen his face when I came to the Viagra issue." He couldn't help but laugh remembering their shocked expression. "It was hilarious. Anyway, lunch is on me for everyone today, can you order please?" It was a tradition at the Cullen law firm that every time one of the attorneys won a big case, he had to offer lunch to the whole company.

"Of course. Italian, right?" she said, already getting the phone from the hook. Edward nodded and turned to enter his personal office but Rosalie called after him. "Mr. Cullen? I wanted to tell you that I won't be here during lunch hour. I have to meet my little sister today; we… have something important to do. If you need something, just call Sophia from the third floor, and she will take care of it, is this okay?" She knew how impatient her boss could be at times.

Edward looked at her for a moment, making her squirm. "Mr. Cullen?" she asked again.

"Don't worry Rose," he chuckled. "Of course you can; you work too much. Go and have fun with your sister. I'll be fine." On those words, he stepped inside his office, locking the door behind him.

Edward's office was the biggest one in the firm. After all, he was the boss. Two sides of the room were windows from where you could see Tampa's bay. At night the view was breathtaking; that was the main reason why Edward wanted so many windows. The whole office was decorated in deep blue and brown shades, diffusing an odd feeling of warmth and making the clients more at ease. This particular part of the building was Edward's pride and joy. It shows how much he succeeded even if the all odds were against him.

Indeed, Edward Cullen and his twin Peter were orphans only four years after their birth. Their parents died during a plane crash letting their boys without relatives and under the children services care. From this day onwards, they jumped from foster families to foster families, however their absolute reluctance to be separated and stubborn personalities caused that they were never adopted. They didn't really care, they just wanted to stay together and in their minds no one could replace their parents.

So when they got their inheritance at eighteen they immediately started making plans so that they won't have to rely on anyone but themselves. Peter and Edward both got a free ride for Yale and majored respectively in Photography and Law, taking family matters for speciality **(AN: I don't really know anything about law , sorry). **After graduating with record time, Peter left to travel around the world and his brother decided to leave Connecticut for Florida. Using his heavy inheritance, Edward bought a building and opened his own law firm, Cullen's Attorneys, and hired the best lawyers he could find so that all the specialities were covered. In total, the firm counted merely 40 employees, including the secretaries. Quickly, he became one of the most demanded attorneys of the East Coast.

His phone ringing pulled Edward out of his musings. Kicking his feet on his desk, he retrieved his Blackberry from his slacks pocket and hastily pressed the answer button.

"Cullen Speaking", he sighed, feeling drained after the morning activities

He heard a snort on the other end "Is it like that that you greet you best friend, _Eddie_?"

Edward groaned not in the mood for his friend's teasing "What do you want Jake? And don't call me _Eddie_!" He hated that freaking nickname and Jacob knew it.

"Relax, Cullen! I just wanted to know if you would like to eat together this evening. It's been a while." Edward sighed again. It's true that it's been a while since they spend time together. For the last years, his relation with his high school best friend was tensed and he was unconsciously trying to avoid him.

"Ok" he answered finally, "Where do you want to meet?"

"There is this place in town one of my friends owns. It's called Eclipse, meet you at seven?" Jacob asked.

"No problem" Edward quickly agreed before hanging up claiming he had work to finish, when , really, he didn't.

* * *

Standing outside a new Japanese restaurant in town, the Swan sisters were preparing themselves for the event coming. Rosalie, her hands on her sister's shoulders and the most serious expression on her face, was coaching Bella.

"Are you ready for this Bella?"

"Don't be overdramatic Rose; this is not my first eating competition! You, out of all people, should know how much I can eat. We can do it, Sis!" she said confidently, holding out her fist. Bumping fist with her sister, Rosalie nodded.

"You're right, you eat like a mammoth." Bella only smiled proudly, not at all ashamed of her big appetite. "Don't forget, B, we want the second price. Not the first one! Just look at me, and I'll show you when you need to slow down. For now, it's my show. Look and learn , Little sis'."

Straightening up, Rosalie ran a hand trough her long blond hair and made her way inside the restaurant, Bella hot on her heels. Immediately, Rose spotted one of the other participants, a man wearing a too short shirt to hold his beer belly and grease stained jeans. She hiked her skirt a little higher and lowered her blouse an inch before making a beeline toward the man, purposely bumping into him.

"Oh my god! I am so sorry!" The man didn't really hear her; he was too focused on her cleavage.

"It's ok, no harm done pretty lady. I am Tony, you?" Rose wanted to gag when she smelled his bad breath, but still she went on with the plan.

"I'm Emma, it's _very_ nice to meet you," she said using her best _'Come get me, tiger!'_ voice. He blushed bright red. "Are you taking part in that eating contest?" she asked innocently.

"Y-yes, I am" he stuttered. "Why? Are you participating too?" he wondered.

"No I am not, I am not adventurous enough for that", she winked at him. Coming closer, she placed a hand on his chest feeling his heart beating erratically. "Are you sure you want to participate?" she smiled up at him. "I am actually on my lunch pause from work; I just came to get my boss's lunch. We could, I don't know, have lunch together maybe?" Slowly, she trailed her hand down his torso, letting it slightly brush against his crotch.

"Yes! I would love that" Tony immediately answered, louder than necessary.

"Ok, big boy" she gave him a blinding smile, leaving him dazzled. "I just need to make a stop at the office to give my boss his lunch, and I will meet you in the park in front of the school in say, five minutes? Don't make me wait, Tony" Before she even finished her sentence he was already bolting toward the restaurant's exit. That man was going to wait for a reeeaaaaally long time.

_And one opponent down for Rosalie Swan! Who's next?_

Satisfied, Rosalie turned to wink at her sister who was already standing where the event was taking place. Bella was watching her in awe. It wasn't the first time that Rose was using her charm to get rid of the most dangerous participants during the numerous eating competitions they attended. Every time, she was astonished by her sister's power over men.

Bella looked down at herself then back at her sister. They were complete opposites. While Rosalie was tall and thin, with golden locks, ice blue eyes, a killer body and the picture of feminine, Bella was short and curvy, with brown hair and brown eyes. Most importantly, she always dressed like a boy; baggy jeans and band t-shirts were her everyday attire.

Sighing, Bella took her seat at the table where all the other participants were already seated. Well, not all the participants… Tony sure was not here. The event's animator started yelling into the mike he was holding:

"Welcome to our restaurant first eating competition!" People started clapping and cheering. "This is a sushi eating competition so the rules are simple: Within the appointed amount of time, the participant who eats the most is our winner for today!" More clapping. "And what type of prize will our first place winner get? Yes! He will get a set of cooking books written by our talented chef! Isn't that great?" He exclaimed as if it was the best thing ever. Rosalie shook her head at Bella, indicating one more time that it wasn't their goal. "Our second place winner will receive a carnet of free meals tickets for our restaurant! Yes, yes, yes, you heard right folks!" Rosalie vigorously nodded at Bella and mouthed _"This is ours, sis"._

The contest started. The sushi kept coming and coming and the participants were eating them like water. It was seriously scary. Slowly, the numbers of eaters was decreasing till there was Only Bella, and other woman and one really big man named Tyler or something. Rosalie motioned to Bella to slow down with her hands, letting the woman who was turning green, eat quickly. Two sushi later, the woman jumped from her seat and bolted towards the toilet. Bella started to eat at a quick pace again surpassing the woman number easily. She was now head-to-head with the big man. Finding herself where she wanted to be, she stopped eating altogether.

"Time's up!" the animator started screaming again. "Out of the seven participants here is the top three! Third place goes too: Mia Smith! Mia, if you hear me, please, come get your prize when you finish in the toilet!" Everyone laughed. "Second place goes to…" Rosalie was smiling so big, Bella was afraid her face would stay stuck that way. "Isabella Swan! Congratulations! You win free meals tickets for our restaurants!" Jumping up and down, Bella bound her way to her sister, both of them squealing while the host announced the winner. "Finally! The big winner is…" Just before he could say his name, Tyler started vomiting loudly right on the floor.

Rosalie and Bella paled, stopping all movements, even breathing.

The animator sighed loudly, "It looks like our big winner just lost his place! Vomiting means losing! Therefore, our big winner is… Miss Swan! Please come on the stage!" Bella started walking toward the stage, a forced smile on her face. The host didn't seem to notice. "Here is your price! The whole collection of cooking books written by our chef! Congratulations!"

Meanwhile all Rose and Bella could think about was _"This sucks"._

* * *

For the third time in five minutes, Rosalie sighed loudly looking out the window at their little house. They had to carry the heavy collection of books all the way to their home. _On feet._ Bella nudged her a little but she just slapped her hand away.

"Sis?" she tried. Rosalie only glared at her.

"Come on Rose! It's not my fault if that guy vomited, for god's sake! You can't blame me for that!" she too was pissed. They were so close. Then, _Poof!_ It was gone. Like a dream. "I mean we can always sell them right? Seriously, there are at least twelve books; certainly we will make some money out of it," Rosalie's glare immediately disappeared and the dollar sign was almost visible in her eyes.

"Your right!" she finally answered, her mood skyrocketing. "That chef is supposed to be well known, isn't he? Therefore, those books must be expensive! I will put them on eBay tonight! Oh, Sissy, we will make so much money! You're the best!" With that, she hugged Bella tightly, cutting her air supply in the process. "I have to go back to work! Did you find a job?" she inquired.

"Yeah, Alice said they need a waitress at Eclipse for the next weeks, so I will go there after visiting Mike," Rose wrinkled her nose at the mention of her little sister's boyfriend. Mike Newton was exactly the kind of man she would never recommend for Bella. He was rude and treated Bella like yesterday's garbage. However, she did not seem to notice it. So, not wanting to hurt her sister's feelings, Rosalie kept her thoughts for herself wishing she will realize soon what a piece of shit he really is.

Bella was sitting on the sofa in Mike's apartment folding the clothes she found on the living room floor. He was playing some racing video games not paying attention to her.

"Mike?" she called linking her arm through his; "Do you really don't have time tomorrow? Birthdays are only once a year after all. I am sure you can find some time after work. Or I could go to you? I could pretend that I'm a customer," she asked softly. Tomorrow was Mike's birthday, and Bella wanted them to spend it together, however it seemed that he _didn't have the time to celebrate and had to work_. You would think that working in a supermarket was the job of a life for him.

He shook her arms off him and responded in a bored voice "I'll tell you something Isabella, the boss might promote me to store manager so during this time' I really need to do well. Can you understand that?" he asked as if he was talking to a kid. "Didn't you hope that I could get somewhere someday in my career?" he said smugly.

_Casher in a Thriftway is not was I would call a career you dumbshit_, she couldn't help thinking. Bella surely was not in love with Mike; he was an asshole and she knew it. He just felt safe, and she liked to think that someone wanted her even when she was such a tomboy. Slipping one finger under her wig, she scratched her scalp a little. _God, I really need to wash my hair, it's way too hot here._

Sighing loudly as if he just got out of a heavy workout, Mike stood up from the couch, turning off his game and turned to Bella. "Help me clean up a bit; it's a little dirty… I need a shower." He tweaked her nose a little and left the room without a second glance. Grumpily, Bella started to clean pick things up of the floor before making her way to the coffee table where some chips where spilled. When she picked up the phone receiver to clean under it she accidently pushed the recorder buttons and a message started playing.

"Hi Mike". _Ok._ That sultry voice was definitely female. "I wanted to tell you that I received your flowers. Your sincerity…I can feel it too." A dread feeling started to spread in Bella's stomach. Was he cheating on her? And _flowers_? He never bought her _flowers_. The message wasn't finished. "So… I've decided to accept your courtship. Bye Mikie!" End. So he really was cheating on her… _How could he?_

At the same moment the message ended, Mike came bolting into the room, "What are you doing?!" he screamed.

Bella looked at him dead on the eyes, "What is that?" She asked pointing at the machine.

He glanced at the ceiling before returning his gaze on her. He blew an exasperate breath. "You can't blame me. If you need to blame someone, blame yourself for being no fun at all. I mean look at you! You are not feminine at all with that crazy wig of yours! You won't even let me touch you! You're a frigid freak!" He was yelling now.

_Ah. So it's what this is about._

Bella stormed out the apartment; she had heard enough. She felt so humiliated. Not really because her relationship with Mike ended today, she couldn't care less, but because she had been fooled like an idiot. So what if she wanted to dress like a boy and wear a wig and glasses. It was her choice. If he is not happy with that then _fuck him_. Period.

* * *

Edward was sitting at a booth at Eclipse, Jacob was running late, and he hated waiting. On top of that, he managed to get the more distracted waitress _ever._

"Miss!" he repeated for the five times already. She was completely odd. Her hair was cut short and looked strange, almost fake. A wig maybe? Nevertheless, why would she wear a wig in the first place? In addition, her glasses were too big for her pale little face almost concealing it completely. She was dressed in the restaurant-required attire, a black shirt with the restaurant's logo and black jeans, but he could see her beaten sneakers from where he sat. Oddly, he thought she looked cute_. If only she could focused for a few damn seconds. _"Miss!" he called again, slapping his hands on the table to draw her attention.

Bella was pulled out of her Orlando Bloom daydream by a sharp noise. _Right! The customer! _For a second she completely forgot where she was. She focused on the customer and inhaled a sharply. _That guy sure was hot. _Deep grass green eyes and bronze sex hair, a chiselled jaw and pink pouty lips. He seemed tall and built, his muscle straining a little against his tailored suit.

_Inner Bella, started shredding all her Orlando Bloom posters._

"I'm so sorry, you were saying?" she smiled bashfully.

"I want a smoked salmon and a barbecued steak." He repeated sighing and shaking his head a little.

"A barbecued salmon and a smoked steak" she repeated slowly while writing in her waitress pad.

"Miss! I said a smoked salmon and a barbecued steak! Please pay a little attention!" He was getting irritated with her, and Jake still wasn't here.

"Oh God! I am sorry again. I will change it right away," _Well, for a hot guy, he is rude. _

Jake chose that moment to make his apparition. "Sorry I'm late" he said sounding a little out of breath while taking his seat. Edward just rolled his eyes. _Humans were creature of habits after all._

Bella took a deep breath and asked the new man "Would you like to order now?"

After taking his order she made her way to the kitchen, giving the order to the chef, where Alice, her best friend since … actually she could not remember since when, ambushed her.

"Bella!" she literally jumped in front of her blocking her path. Alice was a short girl, no taller than 5"2 with spiky black hair and an angel face with gentle features. "You still haven't told me! After he said that you weren't fun or feminine enough, what did you respond?" she asked with a big smile. Alice hated Newton too and was more than happy that Bella broke up with him.

"What do you think I said Alice? I am Isabella Swan! So… I just left." She said with a sour face. She was never good at facing complicated situations.

"You left? You actually left?!" Alice was fuming, screeching like a banshee on crack. "If it was me, I would have beaten him up until he throws up blood and dies!" she huffed crossing her arms across her chest. The thought of Alice beating up someone made Bella laughed. _Like she could even beat a Smurf. _

"It's not a big deal Al. I just felt so stupid… Thank God no one knows about that; it would be so humiliating." She said turning to make her way back inside of the room.

During this time, Edward and Jacob were sitting in their booth not really talking.

"So… how are the kids?" tentatively asked Jake.

After the death of his brother Peter two months prior, Edward decided to take his niece and nephew, little Esmeralda and Carlisle, under his care. Their mother left them after Carlisle's birth three years ago and never came back. Knowing exactly what would happen if they were sent to foster care, he didn't think twice before taking them home with him. However, the children, used to travel all the time with their father around the world, had difficulties adapting to the city life and were causing a ruckus around the house daily.

"What do you think? They are only six and three years old… Every nanny that I hired doesn't stay more than two days because of the little devils or because I fired her. I swear if she doesn't try to get in my pants and gets fired, she is either leaving the house in an ambulance or in a crazy frenzy after one of their pranks," he sighed loudly. "The nanny agency is not willing to send me nannies anymore, so I have to search one myself." Edward shook his head thinking about all the nannies he had to hire and fire in the span of two months only. Deciding to change the subject, he teased his old friend. "Hey, your mother called me a few days ago, asking me to introduce a girl to you!" He winked for good measure.

Jacob laughed loudly, "My mother is crazy! Asking Edward Cullen, divorce specialist lawyer, to introduce a girl to me!" They both laughed, the atmosphere now lighter.

Bella appeared then with their plates. "Here is your barbecued salmon, Sir," she said smiling.

Groaning, Edward clenched his fist, fighting not to lose his temper. "I asked for a smoked salmon for fuck's sake! Not a barbecued one! Are you dumb or can't you understand anything?" He was yelling but he didn't care. That girl was really too much. He looked up at her. She wasn't even _listening_ to him; her attention seemed focused on another table.

Alice was screaming at a short bald man, stretching herself to her full height, probably trying to look scary. _Well, good job on that._ Bella rushed to her friend's side completely forgetting about Edward.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Bella! That person has been annoying me all night! Do something!" she demanded pointing to the man who was looking at Alice with what seemed like adoration.

"Alice! I really like you!" He looked like he was going to start bawling soon.

"But I don't like you!" Alice huffed stomping her foot.

Bella sighed loudly and turned to the crazy stalker costumer. "Sir, you've heard her, she doesn't like you. These types of situation cannot be forced. Plus, this is a public place. May I ask you to not disturb our other costumers?" she asked in a calm voice, smiling at Alice.

Still he wasn't leaving. "I won't give up! As long as you give me a chance I will be the greatest boyfriend on Earth!"

_God, this is ridiculous_, Bella thought.

Alice gave him a big smile "Sure, you could be the greatest! Still, there's one thing that's not good…" She paused. "You're a guy! Sorry … I am not interested in guys." Her grin widened seeing his shocked expression. Edward and Jacob were watching intently, entirely amused by the situation.

The stalker didn't seem to believe her so she went on, "Don't believe me? Then I'll prove it to you." On those words Alice turned to Bella, grabbed her face in her little hands , before crying over cheerfully "Baby!" and kissed her square on the lips in front of the stunned costumers.

* * *

_**Jay's Corner:**_

**Ho-Ho-Ho (This is my best Santa Claus imitation! Be grateful!) What did you think? Like it or what?**

**I know a lot of things are missing. I will give explanations gradually . Like what happened with their father, and between Edward and Jake for them to be _that_ awkward. **

_**Please, leave me some love! Review!**_

**Okay, before I start with my Fics Recommendations, I have to warn you: I am a mating/ possessiveward / mafiaward addict. I am serious. So don't be shocked if the stories I put in here have … you know … _recurrent themes._**

**The first is one of my Omega's! I love her stories, so check them out ^^**

_**The One for Me by Amaryllis-Amy (FF)**_

_**Edward was always the loner in the Cullen family, and had decided to live on his own, but this quickly changes when he meets the mate that he has been longing for, but a jealous Tanya doesn't want them to have their happily ever after. This is a story about how love can conquer anything. M for a reason.**_

**The second one is certainly the one I read the most since I am on FF. The author drive me nuts because her stories are exactly what I love. Sweet E/B stories…**

_**My Sweet Angel by kiseger (FF)**_

_**After Jake kissed Bella against her will in Eclipse, she can't forgive him. She decides to accept Edward's proposal and their relationship is stronger than ever. Jake's furious and loses his control. Edward drops his boundaries, with unexpected consequences. No Victoria. Lemons**_

**Bye Sweeties!**


	2. Chapter 2 - I Know You!

_**Jay's Corner**_

**Hi darlings! Yes, I am back with another chapter, and within the three weeks promised! Don't you love me?**

**First of all, I want to say thank you so much! This story received so much responses, favorite, alerts and reviews! I mean 25 reviews for one chapter is way more than I hoped for, so I am absolutely thankful to all of you who took the time to read.**

**I am posting this chapter as a self-birthday congratulation =D I thought it would be a great start to mark my first full length story that way. Actually my birthday is on the 16****th**** but since I know I won't have the time this week-end I am posting it now!**

**This chapter is dedicated to my Omega, ****Amaryllis-Amy, ****she is the one you have to thank for that chapter because she did it super-fast during school week! Happy Birthday to you too, sweetie!**

**So, on with the story! See you at the bottom!**

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing.**

* * *

_**Too Gay For You**_

_**Chapter 2 : I Know You!**_

Bella was riding her bicycle down the road, Alice sitting behind her, both safely wearing helmets. The helmets were indispensable while riding Bella's "machine of terror" as Alice affectionately surnamed the bicycle. In fact, the damn thing looked like it was created during the Civil War, because it looked so old. Even worse, it was in such a pitiable state, it couldn't even go in a straight line anymore, giving the impression that Bella was riding in a drunken state. When seeing her approach with the _machine_, people usually had the natural instinct to turn in the opposite direction. Since that bicycle was the only form of transportation Bella could afford, she would always make an effort while riding it to be sure not to crash. However, that night was different; she was distracted, kept avoiding people at the last moment, and looked like she was on the verge of tears. Usually Alice would have taken the bus, but she was worried about her best friend and decided to ride with her. Still, after ten minutes, Bella wasn't talking. Letting her impatience take over, Alice abruptly put her feet on the ground, stopping _the machine_ and nearly sending them flying in the air in the process.

"What's your fucking problem, Alice?" Bella asked angrily, getting down from the bicycle and twirling on her heels to face her best friend. Alice was not deterred by her reaction and was determined to get information. _Now._

"B, The boss called you over, and you guys talked for _soooo_ long…then you come out, and you look like I took your precious sketch books and burned them. So tell me what you were talking about in there!" she demanded with a huff. Bella's eyes flashed with anger when Alice mentioned burning her sketch books. They were her most treasured possessions, and Alice knew it. Shaking a head a little, as if clearing her thoughts, she refocused on the conversation at hand. Thinking about what happened at the restaurant after her shift and the kissing episode immediately brought the tears back. Not giving her the time to reply, Alice continued her rant.

"Does it have something to do with us kissing in front of the customers? It wasn't such a big deal! And why would he only scold you? Tell me!"

"The boss fired me!" Bella cut her off, bursting into loud sobs in the middle of the street. Eyes immediately turned toward the two young women.

"What?" Alice's eyes widened before she hung her head, "It's entirely my fault! I shouldn't have used you to get rid of that disgusting guy!" Taking a step forward, she hugged her friend tightly, gently tapping her back. "Don't worry, I'll go and tell the boss that if he wants to fire, someone it should be me." Alice said softly.

"It's not because of _that. _Even if that didn't help at all! Why in the world did you do that anyway?" Bella asked, easily distracted. Alice started to answer, but she cut her off, "Forget it! I don't want to know what happened in the depth of your clearly damaged mind!"

"Then why?" Alice inquired again, not at all bothered by her friend's comment.

Bella gave her a paper: "It's because of this!" The pixie took the paper slowly to examine it. "The boss said that a costumer complained about me. That my service skills were shit! He said that person is his designer friend's friend, an important friend! He said that I've ruined his entire reputation! Isn't he too much?" Her sobs started with a new vigor. "What should I do? Rosalie said if I lose another job, she will send me to Russia to be a prostitute! I don't even know Russian!" She buried her head in her hands, gripping her wig with her fingers. Alice ignored her and started reading the paper.

"Upscale restaurant's waitress quality is really bad. Waitress N°4 ,not only was she not paying attention, but her standard comprehension skills are worse than a primary school student's." Alice sighed heavily. Bella didn't change. Since they were kids, she had the tendency to close herself in her bubble, blocking out the outside world and causing her to make distracted mistakes all the time. "Hey! You're so weird! You were dumped by a guy, and you weren't this sad. And when you lose your job you cry so pitifully!"

Bella's head snapped up. "If I get dumped I can slash someone! But if I get fired, I'll be slashed!" she cried, agitating her arms in the air. "It's not like you don't know my sister, Ali! She is going to _kill me_!"

"Ok! Calm down!" Alice put her hands on her friend's shoulder to try to keep her in place, "Men and work are the same. If the old one doesn't go, the new doesn't come. The next one will definitely be better! So I'll take you to find the next ones!" Ali said with determination, pumping her fist.

"Ali… Do you really not know me at all?" Bella said in disbelief watching her friend with horror. "You know what the purpose of going out with Mike was in the first place! If this didn't work," she gestured to her wig and clothes, "then I still had the _'I have a boyfriend'_ card. But even if I didn't love him, I was faithful! I am not going to get another stupid man who will go play tonsil-hockey with some skank when I am not looking! No way!"

Alice wasn't even listening to her anymore and was already making plans for the rest of the night.

_Guess no one can win against Alice Brandon after all._

* * *

Jacob Black was still laughing. Even several hours later, he couldn't forget the stalker's expression after witnessing the two waitresses kiss. Edward simply rolled his eyes. It wasn't _that _funny after all.

After dinner, they left for a bar, to Jake insistence, so they could 'men talk'. They ordered a few beers and took place in the back of the room, the farthest possible from the heavy drunks. Since they left Eclipse, Jacob had the same stupid smile plastered on his face and would just start to laugh randomly. After an hour of the same circus, Edward finally had enough.

"Are you done laughing now?" he snapped.

"I can't help it. When I think about that guy's reaction… It was just hilarious!" He started laughing… _again._

"Then don't think about it! I can't believe your friend would hire that kind of waitress. I mean, she didn't even pay attention to what I was saying!" He huffed like a petulant child. Edward was still exasperated with 'waitress N°4' behavior. _Who acts like that anyway? _

Jacob grinned widely, his white teeth glowing in the dark lighting of the bar. Getting Edward riled up was one of his favorite hobbies. "What now pretty boy? Are you disappointed she didn't swoon over your _perfect looks?_" he said snickering. "Anyway you didn't have to complain about her. That was mean, even for you, man. Plus, she was funny."

Edward just shrugged, unrepentant. If she can't do her job properly, then she shouldn't work there, period. He looked around the bar, taking in the dark lights and furniture. Everything was decorated in different shades of purple, it should have made the place look girly, but the black touches here and there gave it a classy vibe instead.

"How did you find this place? It looks pretty new to me," Edward asked, changing the subject.

His friend raked a hand through his short black hair and gave him a smug smile, "I designed it. _Eclipse_ too actually." Seeing Jacob for the first time, no one would believe that he was an interior designer. With his over muscled frame, tan skin, and constantly present mischievous smile, he looked more like a professional football player than someone sketching and shopping for furniture for a living. Even more surprising, he was quite successful in and around Tampa. Lately, he had to travel out of state more and more, proof of his expanding business.

Since High School, there always had a silent competition between the two friends. Who can drink more? Who can eat more? Who had the most beautiful girlfriends? …

_Who was the most successful?_

It never relented. They would always find a way to engage in a new silent battle over everything and nothing; neither of them giving up. That's mainly why when Edward and Peter left for Yale, Jacob followed. And when Edward graduated before him and left for Tampa, Jacob had the urge to graduate as soon as possible and move near Edward, so he could fight with him again.

_Together, they just looked like an old, bickering couple._

"Well, you did a great job… I still haven't thank you for redecorating my office. So, yeah, thank you. The clients love it," Jacob just nodded in acknowledgment before they fell into an awkward silence that always happened one moment or another when they were together lately. Jacob took a swing of his beer and cleared his throat noisily, trying to shake off the uncomfortable feeling.

"So… did you find the future Mrs. Cullen yet?" While asking, Jake couldn't help but think about how he sounded like those middle age women meeting at the country club to gossip.

"Women," Edward simply said snorting loudly. "Once they have a husband, they forget about work, clinging to you till they have made a hole in your credit card. Then, suddenly, you're as good as their dog's crap. So they don't deserve to be trusted. That's why, everyone at my law firm are men. Only one is a woman," He nodded to himself, proud of his little rant. At this point, he was starting to get slightly dunk.

"Is it because she believes in true love or some shit?"

"Yes," Edward replied, finishing his third beer. "It's because her true love is money. She doesn't care about men. She is here to earn her own money and live her life. That's why I hired her! She is easier to control," After working with her for four years, Edward never regretted his choice of secretary. Rosalie Swan was perfect for the job since her focus never swayed from her goal: _earn money._

Jacob laughed boisterously at his friend, shaking his head in disbelief. "That's unbelievable! Edward Cullen, one of Florida's most eligible bachelors, hates women!" The situation was extremely entertaining to him.

"No. I don't hate women; I just understand them too well," Edward said reaching for a new beer bottle.

"Even Tanya?" Jacob blurted out. Edward immediately stiffened and dropped his hand; his face a blank mask, the exact same one he used in court. Jake watched his reaction closely, knowing how quickly his temper could flare up, but still he continued, "I heard she will be back soon; we should…" Not wanting to listen anymore, Edward got up hastily, buttoning up his suit jacket, still stiff and forced a smile on his face. When he spoke, his stone was cold, like it always was whenever Tanya was brought up.

"Let's just go home for tonight. The nanny has to leave soon, and I am not sure what state I will find the house in tonight," with those words, he turned on his heels and left the bar, leaving a frustrated Jacob behind.

* * *

Upon arriving at his house, Edward couldn't help but feel extremely suspicious. It was calm.

_Too calm._

The white, two-story villa was the only house in the vicinity, providing a sense of privacy even with the entire first floor made of glass walls. The fact that it was surrounded by numerous trees only reinforced that feeling; it also meant that every noise was easily heard from the exterior in the eerie silence. So the fact that the area was that silent, knowing that the two little demons he called his niece and nephew were in there, was not in the least comforting.

Sighing heavily, Edward got out of his car and made his way to the front door, at a record turtle pace. To an outsider, it certainly looked like he was going to the slaughterhouse. He walked along the glass wall, taking in the toys scattered all around the living room, the little hand shaped paint stains all over his white couches.

_I guess I have to buy new ones… At this rate, the furniture store will provide me a VIP membership card soon. _

Opening the door, Edward looked around as if expecting to be attacked by some wild animal. Seeing, no one he sighed in relief.

_Come on, Edward! You're a grown twenty-eight year old man! You can't be scared of a three and six year old! Man the fuck up! And where the hell is that nanny?_

Feeling better after his little pep talk, he squared his shoulders and prepared himself for the disaster certainly reining in the rest of the house. That's when he realized that red candles were disposed everywhere, and the lights were turned on low. Turning to enter the kitchen, Edward stopped short. In the kitchen entrance stood the nanny, clad in what seemed a sexy maid outfit too tight for her and holding a birthday cake with a single candle. She started to go to him, unsteady in her heels and threw herself into the worst interpretation of the 'Happy Birthday' song he had ever heard.

_Seriously, she sounds like she was drowned in testosterone. Maybe she used to be a man… Hmm… _

His thinking was interrupted by the _woman_ trying a reach a particularly high note and choking on her own breath. _Actually chocking_.

Shaking his head, he asked, "What in the world are you doing, Miss Holmes? Where are Carlisle and Esmeralda?"

Laughing as if he had just made the best joke ever, she replied in a supposed sultry voice. "They went to bed a long time ago. Don't worry. Now it's mommy and daddy time…" she whispered the last bit, winking at him. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to prevent himself from throwing up.

"Listen to me, Miss Holmes. You are to leave immediately and I'll pretend that tonight never happened." He said, opening the front door for her. Her face fell for a second, but still, she wasn't deterred and advanced toward him still holding her cake.

"Stop resisting. I knew at first sight that you had fallen in love with me," She gripped his tie with one hand balancing the cake in the other. "You're like Car and Esme. You just need love… Love that I will give you…" She licked her lips and waggled her eyebrows suggestively. Edward took two long steps away from her till he felt at a safe distance from her claws.

"Miss Holmes, I hired you to take care of my children, not to help me have new ones, understood? Now, please leave." He said pointing at the open door. Finally, she seemed to get it. However, instead of just leaving as asked, she crushed the cake she was still holding right on his face.

"Miss Holmes was the last nanny! My name is Williams, you prick!" she snatched her purse from the floor and left, banging the door loudly behind her.

Edward just stood there shocked, with strawberry cake running down his face till he heard little giggles coming from his right. Turning his face toward the noise, he found Esme and Carlisle sitting at the top of the stairs, laughing openly at him.

"Awe you ok, Unca Eddie?" asked little Carlisle sweetly, still giggling. Edward just nodded. He couldn't help but smile at them, his anger dissipating against their bright faces.

_Now I have to find a new nanny .Yeah, I love my fucking life… And it's not even my birthday._

* * *

Rosalie Swan was walking home from work after finishing putting orders in for the new cases sent to the office. The warm, Tampa night breeze was hitting her skin deliciously causing her to relax immensely. She'd always loved her night walks; it was the only time she allowed herself to think about her: her wishes, her feelings. Only once a day, she could forget about all the bills waiting at home; she didn't have to worry about the electricity, or water being cut off, or Bella causing a ruckus somewhere in town. As always, she crossed the shopping district slowly, looking longingly at all those things she couldn't afford.

_Maybe one day soon…_ she thought hopefully.

Finally she came to a stop in front of her favorite vitrine. It was a car dealer. Every month or so, they would change the exposed car, and Rosalie would spend long periods of time just looking at them, daydreaming and smiling to herself. No one, except her younger sister, knew about her absolute love for cars. If it was up to her, there was no way she would spend all day working in a law firm. She wanted to be a mechanic; she wanted to spend all her time tinkering on new cars, head under oily roofs. In a way, she envied her sister. She too wanted to go around wearing whatever she liked, not having to look prim and pampered like she should be as a famous lawyer's assistant and secretary.

Sighing heavily, Rosalie leaned her head against the glass to have a closer look at the car exposed behind it. This month it was the latest Aston Martin, painted in a mesmerizing red wine color. She imagined herself driving it on a deserted place, racing down the road, the wind blowing her hair wildly. She was so immersed in her thoughts that she didn't notice the man standing behind her before he interrupted her fantasy.

"It's a beauty, isn't it?"

Rosalie jumped at the sudden intrusion and turned slowly around, gripping her purse in her hand, trying to remember how to knock a man down in less than thirty seconds.

_Pinch the nipples. Knee the balls. Run. Yeah I got it._

However, the sight waiting for her when she finally faced him was clearly not what she was expecting. _He was tall. _Even with her 5'8 height and heels, she had to crane her neck to see him fully. And _damn_, did she like what she saw! He had curly brown hair, and his bright, playful blue eyes were staring right down at her. His suit clad, massive body was almost completely shadowing hers, still she wasn't scared and just stared back, jaw hanging open. They stayed locked in each other's gazes for a long time, before Rosalie shook her head and took a step back, trying to gain a minimal amount of her composure back.

_What the hell are you doing Rosalie! You don't have time for that!_ She thought exasperatedly.

Turning back toward the vitrine, she cleared her throat and said curtly, "Yes it is." Nevertheless, the man didn't miss the longing behind the coldness of her voice.

"I'm Emmett by the way, it's nice to meet you miss…?" he introduced himself, extending a hand and smiling kindly, hoping to get the beautiful woman's name.

Shaking his hand tightly and looking him square in the eyes, she replied in a final tone, "My name was 'NotYaBusiness' a second ago, and now it's 'LeaveMeTheFuckAlone'." Flipping her blond hair behind her shoulder, she turned on her heels leaving a dumbfounded Emmett standing there and continued her way home like nothing happened. Only to find an empty house. At eleven at night.

_Where the hell was Bella?_

* * *

Bella and Alice were quickly approaching the building from where the music was blaring. Alice managed to drag a reluctant Bella to a well-known club in town, but no matter how much she insisted, Bella refused to get rid of her wig and glasses, only changing her baggy jeans for skinny ones; she didn't even know she owned them, and she hated it.

_Skinny, shmkinny… I can't even walk properly in these things! My hoo-ha doesn't have enough space to aerate! _She thought, grimacing. Alice noticed and slapped her arm with surprising force.

"Stop fidgeting, Swan! It's not that horrible; you should start wearing them. Your ass looks banging in them!" she said slapping her butt.

They didn't see Jacob standing at the top of the club entrance stairs, watching then intently and clearly not missing Alice's movement. He was still brooding after Edward abandoned him at the bar and decided to change places and party a little to get rid of unpleasant thoughts.

_Ahhh, my favorite couple! Guess I am having some good luck tonight; it will be interesting._ He couldn't help but think, his grin widening to dangerous proportions. He started to make his way toward them but stopped after taking a few steps when he saw them freeze.

On the other side of the road, Mike Newton was coming out of a cab with some sort of blond bimbo hanging on his arm.

"Isn't that Mike?" Alice gasped. "So quickly parading around his new girl. The bastard! Hey! He's even wearing that sweater you bought for him last Christmas!" She cried. Feeling the anger bubbling inside her, Alice started toward the couple, ready to throw punches. However, Bella stopped her by tugging on her arm harshly, dragging her back.

"It's ok, Alice. Life will bite him in the ass soon," just as she finished her sentence, Mike and his Blondie passed in front of them like they owned the place, and they didn't see Alice stick her foot out, almost sending Mike toward the ground, face first. Bella looked at her friend, horrified, wondering why in the world she would bring the attention to them in such a way only two seconds after she asked her not to do anything. Alice just shrugged and jutted out her chin towards an angry Newton.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at, Bella?" he hissed, getting in her face. Bella instinctively flinched, taking a few steps back.

"Who's that Mikie?"

"Her? She's an _old_ friend," he said snidely, turning to face the blond. "Baby, you go in first; I'll come find you in a little while," When she wasn't in view anymore, he turned back to Bella as if waiting for her to talk. She didn't have anything to say to him, but clearly Alice did.

"What the fuck do you mean by 'old friend'? You should be happy B didn't whip your ass after what you did, you fuckface!" she was screaming now, attracting attention from the people standing outside the club. Jacob couldn't help but to come closer, listening intently. _What's the relation between those three?_

Mike didn't even give her the time of the day, still looking at Bella who was trying to hide in an invisible corner. "Listen, I just really hate that cheap attitude of yours. You can't do anything right. I'm telling you, other than being an entertainment for a while, everything you did was worthless. Jessica's father can give me a store to be the boss of," he snorted with disdain. "And you, you're just here! Everything you touch turns into a fucking disaster! You're no use, just a burden," turning on his heels, he went up the stairs and disappeared inside the club.

Bella could feel the tears brimming in her eyes. _He's right… I can't do anything right…Just a burden. _She stayed still, just staring into space, her tears staining her cheeks. Around them, people were bickering about her embarrassing situation…

_How embarrassing…_

_I would have run home if I was her…_

_That was harsh…_

_I can understand why he left her. I mean look at her…_

The last one took her out of her stupor, and as always when someone made a comment about her look, Bella's temper flared dangerously. Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, she pushed Alice out of the way and went to stand right in front of the man who looked a little afraid. Taking a deep breath, she flipped him off before stomping her foot on his with all the force she could muster. Leaving him whimpering in his corner, she took Alice by the arm and entered the club, passing a shocked bouncer and Jacob, who was still trying to figure the situation out.

"_Come on Ali. Let's get drunk"_

…_._

Effectively, two hours later, Bella was completely drunk. She lost Alice to some guy a while ago and was now in the middle of the dance floor executing her _'special, monkey dance'_ she created in primary school. She clearly forgot for how long the other kids laughed at her after that episode. Her glasses disappeared at some point, and her wig was half hanging off her head. She just looked bat shit crazy. _Alcohol does that to you._

Since she had set foot in the club, Jacob was following her everywhere with his eyes. Completely creepy, yes, but for him, she was the most amusing thing _ever_. _What kind of dance is that anyway?_ And he was still trying to know if she was really a lesbian, or if the kiss at the restaurant was just a big act. After all, he saw the fight outside, and her friend seemed to be focused in a heated kiss with some guy in a corner. He was snapped out of thoughts when he saw Bella making her way toward the exit, hunched over. Quickly he followed, again, wanting to know if she was ok. He found her vomiting noisily in bushes nearby the club. Slowly, he approached her till he was standing behind her.

"Hey, are you alright?" he gently tapped her back. Startled, she turned around almost slamming into him.

"What! I'm not drunk. I promise!" she slurred, trying to push him away from her. After a few inutile tries, she looked up at him, trying to get a clear view of his face through her drunken state. "You! I know you! Did I ever work for you or something?" she scratched her head, tugging even more on her bob, causing a few strands of long brown hair to fall out from under it. "I can't remember… God I think I'm drunk," she groaned, sitting in the middle of the sidewalk. Jacob just laughed and sat next to her, handing her a bottle of water.

"Here, take this, rinse your mouth, and wash your face. You will feel better."

Bella looked at him for a second, squinting her eyes at him, "What are you some kind of hangover doctor? Hmm, I don't think I ever worked in a hospital before…" she grumbled, taking the bottle like it was made of glass. "Thank you." She drank half of it clumsily before turning to look at his smiling face. Trying to give him the most serious look she could muster, she said slowly pointed a finger at him, "Listen, you're a really kind-hearted person, but I just left a relationship, and I don't think… No! I think you should give up. Yep, just give up!" She nodded

Jacob cut her off, raising a hand and laughing, "I think we have a misunderstanding here. That was not my intention at all, I swear." To his relief she just laughed along him.

"A misunderstanding, of course," in a second her face morphed into a sad expression "How could you like me; I'm such a messed up person. I'm not pretty, and I'm dumb. Even my sister calls me a useless creature all the time. How is it possible for anyone to like me?" She was crying hard now, making Jacob extremely uncomfortable. He could handle a lot of things, but crying women made him panic. Tapping her back awkwardly a few times, he tried to comfort her.

"I don't think you're that terrible! I think you're pretty great actually!" _Yep, she's the funniest thing ever._

She looked up at him startled. "Really?" she squeaked.

"Yep! Now please don't cry, ok? Don't you have to go home?"

The notion of home brought her back to reality, and she immediately shot up from her place on the floor.

_Rosalie!_

* * *

When she finally got home, Rosalie was waiting for her. After being pissed for a while about Bella still not being back, she started to get worried. No matter how angry she was with her, Bella was her sister, her whole family, and she loved her more than she could ever love anyone or anything. She started to take care of little sister at the age of thirteen and was more like a mother than a sister to her, even if she had her own ways of showing it. So when a drunk and half-asleep Bella came stumbling through the door at two in the morning, Rosalie helped her getting ready for bed, already thinking of what she was going to do to teach her a little lesson about getting drunk when she had work early in the morning.

It was with that in mind that she woke Bella up at six in the morning by scraping a burnt pan _right next to her ear._ After only five seconds, Bella sat right up, covering her ears.

"Stop scraping, sis! Stop!" But Rosalie didn't stop. Hell, she started to scrape harder. Bella got up from her bed and started running toward the little living room, flopping herself down on the battered sofa, Rosalie hot on her heels. She put the burnt pan on the coffee table and sighed heavily.

"If only last night, while I was in the midst of cooking noodles, I didn't have to take care of a certain person who was drunk and vomiting everywhere, this pan wouldn't be burnt! And I wouldn't have to keep scraping it," Rosalie said, scraping just a little more to express her point. "You never understand what I try to teach you, B. There is no time for men in our lives. You know the situation we are in! If we want to get out of this, we have to get rid of Charlie's debts!" Rosalie just couldn't bring herself to call Charlie Swan her _father_, a genitor yes, a father no, not after what he had done. "We can't do that if we fool around with guys that aren't worth it and get drunk! If you want a man, at least get yourself a life-long meal ticket!"

"Huh? A life-long what?" Bella asked confused; the hangover was starting to take a tool on her, and her head was pounding.

"A rich husband you dummy!" Rosalie said smacking the back of her sister's head. Bella screamed in pain, holding her head in her hands, her pain showing on her face. Rosalie regretted her action immediately and spoke in a gentler tone. "Anyway since you look so sick, you should stay at home today. I will call the restaurant and ask for a day off for you. You should go back to sleep for now, Baby B," she patted her head and started to get off the couch.

"Wait!" Bella said wrapping her arms around Rosalie's middle preventing her from leaving. _If she knows I was fired, I'm as good as dead!_ "Sis… It's not like any part of my body is hurt… And I'm a Swan! Why shouldn't I go to work? I should work hard for us to live better, right?" she said faking determination. "I'm going to work! No need for a day off!"

"Since when do you like work so much?"

"Oooh! I love it!"

Rosalie just observed her for a moment. Suddenly she grabbed her ear and twisted it, "You better tell the truth right now, Isabella. You never knew how to lie, and that didn't change overnight." She pointed her finger right in front of Bella's face and asked in a menacing voice, "Tell me honestly, what happened?"

Bella leaned a little forward and whispered almost inaudibly, "I was fired."

Rosalie, acting as if she didn't heard her, came even closer, causing Bella to recoil further in the couch. "Huh? What did you say?"

"I was fired!"

In two minutes flat, Bella was standing outside the closed front door, still in her pajamas, with only the instruction of not to come back before the end of the day without a job.

_How can there be that kind of older sister? _Bella asked herself, not that surprised. It was a recurrent situation in their house. She knew Rosalie was going to let her in in… an hour or so. Maybe. If she feels gracious. If not… then she'll just have to look for a job in her Pokémon PJ's.

* * *

Sitting at her desk at the Cullen Law Firm, Rosalie was tapping away on her computer, waiting for the boss to come in. She was still fuming over the events of this morning. After letting her sister outside for a couple of hours, she finally opened the door and let her in, ignoring her as best as she could and left for work. Even while being stern to Bella, she was looking around the Internet to see if someone was hiring. She was startled out of her researches when Edward came out the elevator, looking completely disheveled. His hair was even more of a mess than usual, his tie was only half tied, shirt hanging out of his slacks, and he looked to have some sort of green paint smeared between his brows, as if linking them together.

_Looks like nanny number twenty three is game over, _she thought_._

"Miss Swan, I need you to find me a new nanny. Today, please. Make the salary doubled the market place. If I have to get them ready for school again, I will commit suicide." Poor guy, he really looked like he was having a hard time.

"Of course, Mr. Cullen. I will start searching immediately," Rosalie said professionally. However the moment he disappeared behind his office door, she started laughing silently reaching for her calendar. The day date was circled in red, with _'Nanny 23: Game over'_ written inside the circle. She fist pumped to herself letting out a victorious _'Yes! I knew it!',_ not hearing Edward coming up behind her.

"What's that?" he asked pointing at the calendar. Rose turned in her chair, facing him, her face a mask of embarrassment.

"It's nothing! I kind of had this bet with the others about how long this nanny would last. I bet that that the nanny would not last more than a week! And guess what? I was right!" she gushed out, her previous embarrassment completely forgotten. "Oh! What happened this time? Was it because of one of their crazy pranks? Or because she failed to seduce you and was thrown out by you? The previous was ferocious! She even dared to do the pole dance for you! She deserved some credit!" she asked eager for information. However, her excited eyes met her boss's cold ones.

"Miss Swan, I would be really grateful if you could start looking for a new nanny. _Now!"_ He almost growled at her. Nodding, Rosalie turned back to her computer only to stop in her tracks, struck by an idea.

"_Mr. Cullen! I think I have someone for you!"_

* * *

_**Jay's Corner**_

**Hey! It's me again!**

**As you saw, this chapter too is still very basic. The really crazy stuff will start soon! Don't forget that it's a fiction, and things aren't always realistic!**

**I know you have a lot of questions, huh? Who's Tanya? What happened with her? And what did Charlie do? The answers will come soon!**

**Please, let me know your suspicions, I would really like to know what you think =D**

**IMPORTANT: I sent a word page long preview to the two person who reviewed both the first chapter and the A/N. After thinking about it for a while, I decided to send previews to the regular reviewers. So this time, if you review this chapter and the first one I will send you a preview of chapter 3! Aren't you exited XD So don't hesitate!**

**This Chapter recommendations:**

_**I Have Found You by Amaryllis-Amy (FF)**_

_**Bella Cullen has always felt alone. That changes when she meets a beautiful man in the forest. He is not human nor vampire, and why is the Volturi after him? Just when they have found each other, will they be torn apart?**_

**This is my Omega's! I love it! It's a mating story (Whouhou!) and Edward is adorable and so unique =D Check it out!**

_**Let's trust love by Dooba (FF)**_

_**The Cullens go back to high school, 7 years after the end of BD. What starts out to be a fun endeavor, soon turns into dangers that nobody had foreseen... What damage can a crazy lovesick girl inflict? Rated M for some language and lemon. Canon pairs.**_

**This is one of the first FF I read and it kind of have a special meaning to me. AND it's really good!**

**The next update will be in 2013!**

**Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3 - I Remember

_**Jay's Corner**_

**Hi guys! Here is chapter 3 of Too Gay For You! **

**I want to thank you all for the response I got last chapter =D I sent previews to all the reviewers! If I forgot someone, please tell me and I will be more careful.**

**ANSWER TIME!**

**Someone asked me if Jacob was gay. (I laughed a lot at that one, it took me by surprise XD) Well, the answer is… **_**no. **_**You'll understand why soon! But I started wondering: Does the way I wrote about him made you feel like Jacob is gay? I'm really curious.**

**I don't have an update schedule sorry! I said that in the AN: I am really bad at keeping up promises so I don't make them.**

**Thank you so much to my Omega, **_**Amaryllis-Amy**__**, **_**you're the best!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

_**Too Gay For You**_

_**Chapter 3: I remember**_

Bella was sitting in the grass, leaning against a big willow tree. It was her favorite place to draw whenever she was upset, sitting here in front of the place that held so many memories. When she was little she would always try and climb up the tree, only to have Jasper come and fetching her before she hurt herself. As with every time she thought about her brother, Bella closed her eyes, trying to remember his features, but the memory of his face was blurred, as if she was seeing him through a heavy fog. She still remembered his blond hair and blue eyes, the exact same ones as Rosalie's; they were twins after all. Bella wished she could remember more about that period of her life, however, the last time she saw her father, mother, and brother she was only nine, just a child. She often tried to imagine how Jasper looked now, as twenty-seven year old man. Usually, she just ended with a male version of Rosalie.

Isabella shook her head to clear it and gazed up at the house on the other side of the road. The four story blue painted house with white shutters was imposing, towering above neighboring houses. Completely surrounded by a tall, white fence, the house was drowned in a feeling of dread and loneliness. As if a fairy tale had started there and ended badly. In a way, for Bella, it was just what happened. That house, where she once lived happily with every person she loved, was now empty and abandoned. The big sign 'FOR SALE' in front of it and the moss covered 'SWAN' plaque near the portal were just another proof of that, but still, Bella came here to sketch every chance she got, hoping to feel the same feeling of happiness she had felt back then. She drew and drew, hunched over her sketch book, her pen blackening the paper quickly with ease and experience. Drawing for her was the perfect getaway, her only potent talent. Through her drawings she felt like she existed as her true self. Forget the clumsy, light-head, and lost twenty-three year old girl; this Bella was focused and determined, baring her feelings on the paper.

Finally, when she started to feel the familiar ache in her wrist, Bella put her pen down and held her drawing up to examine it. It was a perfect reproduction of the locket she was always sporting around her neck. The golden locket, a present from her father for her ninth birthday, hid a faded picture of herself standing between her parents, with the biggest smile on her face. She could still remember the day Charlie brought it home.

* * *

_The sound of children screaming and running around echoed inside the Swan house. For Bella's ninth birthday, all the kids from the neighborhood and her class were reunited. However, little Isabella wasn't playing with the others. She was sitting alone on the porch waiting for her Daddy to come home. Maybe he would be present this year. Jasper opened the front door and came to sit next to his sister._

"_What are you doing here all alone, Baby B? Don't you want to play with your friends anymore?" he asked softly, running his fingers through her long brown hair. She looked up at him sadly._

"_I'm waiting for Daddy, JJ. He promised he would be here!"_

"_Daddy has never remembered our birthdays, Bella. It won't change now! Now, hurry and come in; Mom wants to cut the cake," Rosalie said, poking her head out the front door._

"_No! Last year he said he'd never forget again! I want to keep waiting!" Bella answered stubbornly. Just as she said that, an expensive-looking black car pulled up into the driveway. Bella literally leapt from the porch and ran towards the car._

"_DADDY!"_

"_My little princess!" Charlie said getting out of his car. Grabbing her under her arms, he hoisted her up, settling her on his hip. "Why were you sitting at the door? You're going to get a cold sweetheart!"_

"_I knew you would remember my birthday, so I waited! But Rose said you wouldn't!" The little girl said pouting cutely and pointing at her sheepish looking older sister._

"_Of course I didn't forget! Look, I even have a birthday present for you," Charlie reached inside his pocket and brought a velvet box out of it. Bella squealed excitedly._

"_What is it?"_

"_Why don't you open it?" Little Bella snatched the box from her father's hand and opened it impatiently. An oval shaped, golden locket was nestled against the black velvet._

"_Wow… a necklace! It's so pretty," she almost cooed at her present._

"_It's not just a simple necklace, sweetheart," Charlie said with a serious face, attracting Bella's attention once again. Slowly he opened the locket, revealing the picture inside. "It's a magic locket. As long as you wish on it with all your heart, your wishes will come true."_

"_You promise?"_

"_I promise."_

_And only a week later, they lost everything._

…

Bella was forced out her thoughts by her phone, _again_.

"Yeah, Rose?"

"Bella, I need you to come to the Cullen building. Like now."

* * *

Edward was pacing around his office, waiting for Rosalie to finish her phone call with her sister. The more he thought about it, the less the idea seemed like a good one. She wasn't even a qualified nanny! Could he trust her? Will she survive at least a day with the kids? He wasn't so sure. The moment Rosalie snapped her phone close, he attacked.

"Listen, Rosalie… Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, you said she never really took care of children before! And Esme and Car aren't the easiest ones. Twenty-three qualified nannies weren't able to pull it off, so how can you be so sure your sister will?" He was fretting, gripping his hair in his hands. "I think we should just try another agency, yes that should…"

"Stop!" Rosalie cut him off. "Mr. Cullen, I won't lie to you, my sister is a little… strange, for lack of a better word, but I can assure you that she won't let two kids step on her. I know I never really talked to you about that, not that I needed too, but you have to know that if someone can understand those little guys, it's her," She said, her posture oozing pure confidence.

"What do you mean? Is she some type of children behavior specialist?" Edward snorted.

"No. But she was in the same situation before," She sighed heavily, before taking a seat in a cream colored sofa. She hated talking about that period of their life, but she felt like she could trust Edward with that. "When Bella was nine, our mom got sick. The doctors… they said she wouldn't make it… We lost her only two months later…," She was looking out the big windows; her eyes seemed absent, her voice flat, as if she was telling someone else's story. "Everything went to hell after her death. Our father just stayed home, not going to work, emptying bottle after bottle of alcohol. He was a wreck. My twin brother and I, we were just thirteen at the time, but we had to take care of Bella. We had to take her to school; make sure she ate, shop for the groceries… everything."

Edward was shocked. It was the first time his assistant had spoken so openly about her childhood. He never knew she had a brother; she only ever talked about her sister. Where was he now? "At some point, our father's company went bankrupt. Overnight, we lost everything. The cars, the house… Charlie…" Rosalie's voice grew more and more agitated. Her hands were balled up in tight fists. "Do you know what that fucker did? He abandoned us! He just dumped us at the neighbor's house, swearing that he would be back soon, and he just left. He took Jasper with him and threw Bella and me away. Just like that. In fourteen years, we hadn't seen him once. That's better for him because I swear on my mother's grave if I see him again, I will kick his ass."

Edward didn't know how to react to her story. How could someone do that? How could that man call himself a father? He looked intently at Rosalie, it was the first time he saw her displaying that much emotion. She looked feral, her eyes blazing with contained fury. It all seemed so much clearer to him now. The way she was always so serious, so focused on her work. It was all for her sister, to take care of her. After working with her for four years, Edward finally realized Rosalie Swan's selflessness.

While he was musing over his newly acquired information, Rosalie seemed to have snapped herself out of her anger induced state. Clearing her throat, she continued on a softer tone.

"That's why I think Bella will be perfect for Esmeralda and Carlisle. When Charlie didn't come back, she reacted in a same fashioned. She was throwing tantrums constantly, smashing things, doing everything she could to get attention. She felt abandoned and lonely, and that's certainly how those kids are feeling right now. Their mother already left them, then they lost their father, and you are at work all day. The only people they see are at school, and when they get home, some stranger paid to take care of them, not really caring nor trying to understand how they feel. Sincerely, _Boss, _I can understand why they are acting like this," she finished, glaring at Edward, who looked down like a well chastised child.

"You're right… I know I should have stayed with them at least until they are feeling comfortable enough…" He threw his hands in the air in an obvious sign of helplessness "But I don't know how to be around them! I mean… I never took care of children before, you know? Listen, Rose, before being my secretary, you are my friend. So, if you think your sister will be good for the kids…, I trust you. But you have to know that if it goes badly, I will blame you personally," Rosalie nodded, smiling smugly. He looked at his watch and said, "I have to make a quick stop at the bank, I will be back shortly. If your sister… _Bella_… arrived before me, please wait with her in the office."

"Sure, Mr. Cullen," Rosalie said with a bright smile. She stopped him before he could leave, "And, Edward? As your _'friend'_ I think that you're not doing such a bad job with the kids. Just try to be more present, ok?"

Edward looked at her for a moment before hugging her gently and whispering "Thanks, Rose; I'll try," He quickly left after that, hoping to avoid the awkward moment after both of their out of character moments.

* * *

Bella was riding her _machine of terror _at top speed, well as quickly as it could go in all its decrepit glory. Rosalie's call worried her. She just told her to _'hurry up and get her ass over here'_, not willing to give any details on the situation no matter how many times Bella asked. So, she had to ride from the other side of town to the Cullen building. She only went there once and didn't even enter the building, so the fact that her sister asked her to meet her at the top of the law firm was even more alarming.

She took a sharp turn in a deserted street hoping to avoid bigger vehicles and didn't see the black car coming from the other side of the road. Surprised, Bella lost the control of her bike, which collapsed on its side sending her flying against a pedestrian. The car owner didn't even stop to check on her and just continued down the road.

Slowly, Bella got up dusting off her clothes, trying to see the damage. She didn't seem to have hurt herself, but her clothes were covered in dust. By reflex, she brought her hand to her throat.

_My locket!_ Bella thoughts were panicked. Where did it fly to? She went on all fours searching frantically for the golden necklace. Finally she spotted it, lying in the middle of the road. Quickly, she crawled her way to it. Picking it up, she turned it in her hands, inspecting it for any damage.

Edward was driving back from the bank. He was trying to call Rosalie with his hands-free kit. _Yeah … that wasn't really successful yet._ When he finally put the eyes away from his phone to check the road, the sight in front of him was an unusual one. A girl was sitting in the middle of the road, inspecting something in her hands. _And he was speeding right toward her. _Abruptly, Edward pressed the brakes causing the car to make a horrible screeching noise.

Bella jumped back when the loud noise attacked her ears. Landing on her butt and losing her grip on her locket, she found herself nose to nose with some silver Volvo fender.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" she screamed. _When did it get there?!_

Edward hastily got out of the car. The moment he saw she was unharmed, he let his anger take the lead.

"Do you want to die?! If you want to, you shouldn't find a short way out by using my car! Go jump in front of the fucking subway or something!" Edward roared.

"Who wants to die?! You're the one who wants to die… Didn't you see me here, huh?" Bella stopped short, immediately recognizing the _rude_ _hot customer_ from the night before at Eclipse. Turning her back to him, she prayed that he didn't recognize her too.

_Why am I so unlucky? Did I cause a war in another life or something?_

"Hey!" Edward said, pointing a finger at her. "You're the waitress from the restaurant yesterday aren't you? So what now? You want to take revenge while you can, right?"

Spinning on her heels, Bella faced him once again, confused. "What?"

"Don't play dumb! I get you fired, so you're trying to put a car accident on my ass!" Edward said putting his hands on his hips. "Wow, you don't know the difference between a barbecued steak and a smoked one yet you're able to figure out my schedule!"

"It was you! How can do get me fired just because you didn't get your stupid smoked steak!" Bella yelled in his face. _How dare he!_

"It was a barbecued steak! And you deserved it! See what you just did! You're a natural disaster!"

"You, this kind of person…surely you aren't coincidentally a lawyer?" Bella snorted, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly. "Only lawyers have such conspiracy theories!" She looked at his surprised face for a moment and gasped. "You are!" at the same moment Edward screamed.

"I'm a kindergarten teacher!"

Bella ignored him, not believing him one bit. Pushing him out of the way, she bent to retrieve her locket which landed in front of Edward front tire.

"What are you doing? Are you trying to pierce my tire now?" Edward said tugging her back by her shirt.

"Look, there you go again. Crazy! I was just retrieving this." Bella said holding up the necklace in front of his face. "Now apologize!"

Edward huffed and grabbed the hand holding the locket "Who will sacrifice their life for such a worthless thing?"

Bella took her hand back, offended by his words. "Not everyone is like you, using money to measure everything okay? My sister always says if you want to insult a person who is cold-blooded, unreasonable, and heart less, you just have to label him as a great lawyer!"

"I. Am. A. Kindergarten. Teacher!" He replied loudly enunciating each word.

"Liar! Even the dumbest person wouldn't believe you! Now goodbye!"

Before Edward had the time to answer, Bella already got her bike up and down the road, shouting a few choice words on her way.

"That woman is completely crazy…I can look like a kindergarten teacher if I want to… Like she knows anything!" he muttered to himself while getting back in his car.

* * *

Rosalie was just deposing the contract she made for her sister when Edward came in, slamming the door on his way making her jump.

"I swear, there are only crazy people in this town," He grumbled, sitting at his chair.

"What happened?"

Edward told her the whole story: the dinner at _Eclipse, _the kiss, him getting her fired, and the almost accident. At the end of his story Rosalie looked horrified.

"Rosalie? Are you ok? You look pale."

"_Eclipse_ you said? Is she… short, with a bob? Baggy jeans and beaten shoes?" Rosalie asked warily.

"Yeah, exactly! How do you know? Did you have problems with her too?" He wondered leaning forward.

"Humm, yes… you can say it like that… Look, Boss, I think we should reschedule the meeting with my sister! I will call her right now!" Rosalie said, slowly making her way toward the office open door, praying that Bella was lost or still _far, far away. And why would Bella kiss a woman?_

"Wait, what? Why suddenly…" Edward was cut off by her someone shouting from the corridor.

"SIS! I'M HERE! Where are you?"

Edward did a double-take before bolting from his seat. _That voice…_

Rosalie grimaced… _For once, she's not late. It had to be today!_

Running down the corridor to Rosalie's desk, Edward found himself face to face with Bella, for the second time of the day.

"You!" They said at the same time, pointing at each other.

"Mr. Cullen, I can explain…" Rosalie said, coming to stand next to her sister.

Edward looked between the two intently, and settled his eyes on Rosalie. "Don't tell _this_ is your sister?!"

"Do you know that man Rose?" Bella inquired bewildered.

"Well… you see, Boss…"

"Boss? Boss!" Bella exclaimed "That… Brute is your freaking _Boss_?"

"_Will you shut up_?" Rosalie hissed, clamping her hand on her sister's mouth. "I'm so sorry! Don't listen to her…My sister had high fever when she was small, and her brain was affected! Please don't mind what she says! Please don't fire me!" she said pleadingly.

"Enough!" Edward said exasperated. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "Follow me," On those words he turned to stomp his way to his office.

Bella removed Rosalie's hand from her face. "What the hell, Rose? Why are you apologizing to him! Do you know what he did? He got me fired and…"

"I know!"

"Then why would you make me come here! And how do you know? What is this all about?" Bella was getting more and more agitated.

"The Boss had a job for you; that's why I called! But you had to go and act all crazy around him; and now he is sure you're a creep," She saw that Bella was going to protest so she clamped her hand back on her mouth again. "No, no! You. Shut. Up! You've done enough! Just follow me and maybe I will be able to save us both a job, capiche?" Rosalie waited till Bella acquiesce to retire her hand. "Come on."

Rosalie pulled a reluctant Bella to Edward's office, where they both sat down on the chairs in front of his desk.

Edward gazed at Bella for a long moment. She didn't have her glasses on, and he could see the color of her eyes clearly. Chocolate brown, deep, beautiful brown eyes. For the first time, he took the time to observe her from a close distance and the only conclusion he came with was that she was _absolutely beautiful_. Her face was little and on the round side, her red lips were plump, as if someone sucked on them for hours. At this point, his thoughts were a jumbled mess.

_What should I do? Should I hire her still? I promised Rosalie, after all. But I don't know if I can entrust her with the kids… God, She's beautiful. … It's a pity she's crazy …That doesn't change anything, she is gay after all. Huuum… Gay… Of course! That's it! She is the solution! I should at least give her a chance. We'll see what she can do. I can still fire her if needed._

Edward smirked, satisfied with his plan. He leaned forward on his desk, crossing his fingers together.

"I want to offer you a job," He said calmly. He couldn't help but snicker at Bella's shocked face. "I am willing to forget about our _accidents _if you are amenable to that of course. I wouldn't want people to think that I am … what was it again? Oh yeah, cold-blooded, unreasonable, and heartless?" he raised his eyebrows at Rosalie who cowered back in her seat. "What do you think, _Bella?_"

Bella looked at her sister who just elbowed her in the ribs. "I'm listening," she grumbled.

"Well, I need a Nanny. I have a niece and nephew needing to be taken care of, but I obviously have to work. So, your work would be to come in the mornings, prepare them and take them to school. Then, you fetch them at four o'clock and again take care of them till I get home. On the occasion I have a business trip, you'll have to stay at home with them overnight."

Edward got his wallet out of his pocket and pulled out a picture, showing it to Bella. "The girl is Esmeralda, don't call her anything else if she didn't tell you to; she is six. The little boy is Carlisle, he just turned three. I am telling you now; they can be _difficult_ to say the least. You have to keep a constant eye on Esmeralda, she is the brain, and don't let Carlisle fool you with his cuteness; he can be extremely sneaky. Today my neighbor's teenage daughter will fetch them from school and put them to bed, so you'll start tomorrow afternoon at the end of school," He put the picture back in his wallet.

"I have, of course a few conditions. You cannot be rough with the children in any kind of situation; you cannot violate my personal space and cannot ruin anything in the house. If you do, you'll have to pay the original worth. The most important one is: you can't resign without any acceptable reason within a year. If you want to, you'll have to pay back ten times the amount of the pay, _and_ you cannot fall in love with me," He looked Bella in the eyes with the most serious expression on his face and was extremely pleased when she made a disgusted face at his last statement. "Can you do all that?"

Before her sister could say anything, Rosalie decided to use the situation at their advantage. _Since he already saw her kissing a woman._ "Don't worry, Mr. Cullen, as long as I'm here, she won't dare resign. One more point! She definitely won't fall in love with you since my little sister…" Rosalie pulled Bella in a hug, restraining her head against her neck with her arm, mostly to prevent Bella from contradicting what she was going to say. "…is a lesbian!" she finished with a big smile on her face.

Edward grinned widely, "I already know that." He got up and buttoned up his suit. "I am sorry, but I have a meeting in town. Please think about it, and your sister can get a contract made. Miss Swan, you know the deal, just this time, triple the market price. If you'll excuse me," He nodded and left the room, closing the door on his way out.

Slowly, Bella got out of her sister's arm, shocked beyond belief.

"What the hell just happened?"

"I am telling you now; you can't say no, Bella! After all the rubbish you said to him, you just can't!"

"No! No, no, no! I definitely don't want that cold-blooded devil to be my boss! Absolutely not! If you want to, do it yourself! And why would you say I'm a lesbian! Huh? Does Mike look like a woman to you?" Bella screamed.

"It's you who looks like a male!"

Bella gasped and looked down her shirt, "Hey I have boobs, ok! More than you!"

Rosalie just rolled her eyes, exasperated. "He saw you kissing Alice at the restaurant! I'm still waiting for an explanation about that too!" Taking her little sister's hands in hers, Rosalie talked softly, "B, we can't lose this opportunity! He is paying you three times my salary! Do you realize how much that can help us? All those debts will be done with! Please?"

_Cue the puppy dog eyes. Rosalie: 1. Bella: 0._

* * *

Edward just got out of his meeting with an important client when his phone went off.

"Yes?" he said tentatively, not recognizing the number.

"Mr. Cullen? This is the EMT. I need you to come to your house right now please."

Edward didn't even listen to the end of the sentence. He pressed on the gas pedal, hoping that nothing happened to the kids. In fact, in front of his house he saw the EMT car, with the lights on. It looked like they were going to leave in an instant. He rushed out of his car and to the first man he saw.

"I'm the owner! Can you tell me what happened? Are the kids alright?"

"It's not one of the children, actually it's… Just come with me," Edward followed the EMT to the back of the car. And here, lying in the transportation bed was his neighbor's daughter, looking like death.

"What happened?" Edward asked alarmed.

"She seemed to have encountered a great shock. We had to sedate her to get her to calm down. I am sorry, but I have to get her to hospital," Without further ado, the man got in the driver seat and drove away.

Edward didn't need to hear more, he could already guess what happened. Clenching his jaw, he made his way inside the house.

_I swear when I get my hands on those little monsters…_

He didn't have to search long. Esme and Carlisle were sitting in living room, in the white sofa they had ruined the day before. At least, they had the decency to look remorseful. Esme had her arms around little Carlisle, as if protecting him.

"What exactly happened?" Edward asked in a low voice. When he got no response, he asked in a harsher tone, "Esmeralda Mae Cullen, what happened here?"

"I don't know how a big spider got into her soup, I swear!" she said, opening wide, innocent eyes.

Carlisle poked out his little blond head out of his sister's arms. "Maybe, da spider was cold and wants take a bath! Right, Meme?" They both dissolved into fits of giggles.

Edward just shook his head and went to his room, too angry to even know how to react.

"Is Unca Eddie angwy?" Carlisle whispered.

"Him being angry is better than him ignoring us," His sister answered sadly, shrugging.

…

The next morning, breakfast was a tense experience. Edward was sitting at the end of the table, reading a newspaper, still extremely angry about what had happened the night before. The children were silent, not daring to say anything. Finally, Carlisle asked sweetly.

"Unca Eddie? I make youw face! Look!" he said pointing to his ketchup covered eggs. Edward said nothing, just kept on reading and eating his breakfast.

Esme glanced at him before huffing and getting up to add ketchup to her brother's plate. "That's not right, Uncle Edward face looks like this!" When she finished, Carlisle was giggling like crazy.

"This is poo! Awe you saying Unca is like poo?"

_Still no reaction._

When he finished his plate, Edward folded up his newspaper and said in a flat voice. "Your new nanny will pick you up at school today. She knows you, but just to be sure, ask her name before following her. Her name is Bella; don't forget please. Now, hurry up and finish eating, or I am going to be late at work," He got up to leave the room but Esmeralda stopped him.

"Do you hate us very much? If you do; why did you take us?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

Edward turned to look at her, shock plastered on his face. "I…I am… Guys, I don't hate you. I'm just not use to kids, and when you do all those things… I just don't know what to do, ok?" He shook his head. _How could they understand after all, they're just children. _"I'll just wait in the car, hurry," Defeated, he left the house, hoping that maybe, Bella will create a miracle.

* * *

Bella was waiting in front of Victor's private school, a picture of the children in her hand. She scanned the groups of children getting out of the school, when she finally spotted Esme and Carlisle, waiting near the portal, holding hands.

"Hi!" she said cheerfully, lowering to their level, "Your uncle must have told you about me right? I'm the new nanny. It's nice to meet you guys." She held out her hand. They just looked at her blankly until Esmeralda asked in a cold voice.

"What's your name?" Bella blinked surprised but answered anyway, trying to keep the smile on her face.

"My name is Bella."

Esme nodded to her brother, before shoving both of their bags into Bella's arms. "Take this!" Bella looked down at the bags in her arms, shocked. "Let's go!" The two children turned down the street, leaving a dumbfounded Bella behind.

"Hey! Slow down you two!" she said scrambling after them. "I actually have a little present for you; would you like to have it?" Bella asked sweetly.

Carlisle's eyes immediately lighted up at the mention of a present, however, his sister tugged him back harshly with a resounding "No!" He obediently returned to Esme's side, who glared at Bella.

_Hum…Seems like he always listens to his sister. She looks so mature… Where exactly is the problem? I really don't get it; they look like the cutest kids ever._

After walking in silence for a while, Esmeralda stopped in front of a little grocery store. "Bella? Can we have a drink please? We're thirsty," She asked gently, a complete U-turn from her prior behavior.

"Of course! Can you wait for me here?" Bella replied, designing a bench just behind them. They both nodded. "Don't run; I'll be right back!"

Bella entered the store, and after hesitating for a while, bought them both some water and chocolate milk bottles. She paid and got out, only to find an empty bench and no children around. She immediately started panicking. _Where were they?_

"Esmeralda? Carlisle? Where are you?!"

* * *

_**Jay's Corner**_

**My first cliffy! This is exciting! Haha.**

**This chapter was a little more fast-paced than the other two. It's starting to move! Next chapter: FIRST DAY with the kids!**

**Please review! **

**Remember: REVIEW = PREVIEW!**

**Fics Recommendation:**

_**Little Bundle by ReddTwilight (FF) **_

_**Written in response to a request. This story follows Bella through a pregnancy with a very supportive and sometimes overprotective Edward. Read and Review please, hugs and kisses to all!**_

**I love this story! If you like pregnant Bella and a loving Dadward, run and read it!**

_**Our Instant Connection by LoveACullen (FF) **_

_**"I felt a solid impact in front of me, making me lose my grip on my books, sending them straight to the floor." Most people meet their soul mates in high school, or college. Bella meets hers in the most unlikely situation - when she bumps into him on the bus. From that moment on, Bella and Edward share an instant connection. Complications ensue, but true love conquers all, right?**_

**This is the cutest story EVER! You'll just fall in love with this adorable Edward! I swear I want to bite him XD The author is really good and funny, a real sweetheart =D Check it out!**

**I hope you had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!**


	4. AN about chapter issue

_**Hi guys !**_

**I am absolutely sorry but this is not a new chapter. **

**Something happened and I received a lot of PM about it so I will explain it here so that you will stop panicking XD.**

**You apparently received all an alert about a chapter 4 and the link wasn't working. I was extremely confused since I didn't update after chapter 3 named 'I remember'. My guess is that there was some kind of bug on FF and I'm sorry for that.**

**I still want to clarify some things:**

**There is only three real chapters for now. There was an AN standing as Chapter 2 but I deleted it so all the reviews for chapter 3 'I remember' were designated as reviews for Chapter 4. Yeah I know it's **_**confusing.**_

**Again, I am sorry for the misunderstanding (even if it wasn't my fault XD).**

_**I don't know when the next update will be since I have 3 weeks of semester finals starting next week.**_

_**See you at the end of the month guys!**_

Jay.


	5. Chapter 4 - Not Only About You

_**Jay's Corner**_

**Hi Guys! Here is chapter 4! It's a little shorter than the others but I felt like this is where I should stop sooo… that's what I did! Anyway thanks for so much for all the subscribing and reviewing! I think I sent all the previews but if I forgot someone tell me please! (A PS to ****KATRINA PETROVA****: Thank you so much for your words! I wanted to answer and send the previews but your PM option is not on!) **

**I still have some outtakes talk to do so see you at the bottom!**

**ANSWER TIME!**

**-Someone said that Bella and Rosalie shouldn't be paying Charlie's debt to the state because he left when they were children and the state should have handled it. This reviewer is right. But here is the thing: They aren't paying back the state! Let's just say that Charlie put himself in some illegal shit and that's all I'm revealing for now!**

**Thank you so much to my Omega, **_**Amaryllis-Amy! (She wrote a new Mermaid Bella / Mating story!)**_**She's the best because she understands my love for chocolate and is a recurrent visitor of my Planet: ****Chocolato****!**

**And also a big Thank you to my new pre-reader, **_**Casper15**_**! You helped me so much Tam's!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

* * *

_**Too Gay For You**_

_**Chapter 4 : Not only about You**_

"_Esmeralda? Carlisle? Where are you?" _

Of all the things Bella had thought could happen with those kids, losing them had never crossed her mind. Her brain was racing with the possibilities.

_Did they run away? No…they wouldn't go to that extent, right? Maybe someone took them? After all, Edward Cullen is an important figure; he must have a lot of enemies and people wanting to hurt him..._

Bella could feel her panic level reaching a new peak. She was in the store for a few minutes only, so with the hope that they didn't have the time to go very far, she started to run along the nearby streets, calling the children's names and stopping people to ask if they saw anything. After fifteen minutes of empty searches, Bella ended up back at her starting point. It seemed like no one saw Esmeralda and Carlisle in the area, it was as if they had vanished into thin air. Pacing nervously, Bella did her best to focus and find a solution to the problem.

_Should I call Mr. Cullen and explain? If I do that he will put me through hell for sure. God, I am so screwed! I am not even capable of taking two kids home safely… Home! Of course! Maybe they just went home alone! Where did I put that address?_

Rummaging through her bag, Bella found the piece of paper where Rosalie had written the Cullen's house address and directions. Without wasting another second, she made a dash for the house, following the directions closely. She almost got lost in the woods surrounding the house, but soon the white villa came into view. Bella was momentarily distracted by the beauty of the estate; however, the reason of her presence quickly came back to the front of her mind. She rushed to the front door, and when she found it closed, she started banging on the door, screaming the children names repeatedly. She got no answers and gave up on the door to try observing through the glass walls if she could see or hear them inside.

_Nothing. Absolutely nothing. They were not here._

Resigned, she turned on her heels and started heading toward the Cullen Building, to Edward Cullen.

* * *

Riding the elevator to the top of Cullen Law Firm, Bella paced in the little space available, fidgeting with her sweaty hands. How do you announce to someone that you lost their kids?

_Hey, I kinda lost your kiddies, but don't worry they will come back when they're hungry! And if someone took them…I guess you are on an extended kids-free vacation! Isn't that great?_

…

_Kidding…Not._

The elevator dinged, signaling the end of the ride and making Bella jump. Was it always that loud? She wiped her clammy hands on her jeans and started to nervously make her to way to Rosalie's desk, trying to look confident. The closer she got the more she realized the oddity of the situation.

A red faced Rosalie was sitting at her desk furiously tapping on her computer, obviously trying to tune out the two kids chasing each other and giggling madly in front of her desk. Not just two random children, but _little Carlisle and Esmeralda Cullen._

She could feel her face flush with anger. _How the hell did they end up here? Was it some kind of planned joke?_ She picked up her pace, literally stomping her way over. Rosalie's head snapped up toward the noise, and the moment her stare found Bella's, she fixed her with the coldest glare she ever saw.

Rosalie slowly got up from her chair, causing the children to stop their game, came to stand right in front of her little sister, and slapped her right on the check.

Time seemed to stop for a second. The children and Bella's gasps resounded in the silent room. Bella slowly brought her hand to her aching check, staring disbelievingly at her sister with tearful eyes.

"Rosalie…" Her voice shook horribly when she spoke. She couldn't believe that Rosalie had just _slapped_ her. That never happened before.

"Can you explain to me how these children, supposed to be _in your care_, happened to come here in a taxi, _on their own_? How could you be so irresponsible? _How, Isabella?_" Her voice was harsh, her blue eyes glaring and unforgiving. "It's only been a few hours, and you're already proving yourself incapable! Didn't I tell you how important this job was for us? Not only your job is on the line, but mine as well! When will you stop being so immature and fucking grow up!" Rosalie's body was shaking in anger, but Bella could still see the tears in her eyes. It was the first time she saw Rosalie anywhere close to crying. That scared her more than any of her previous angry rants.

A throat clearing brought them out of their respective state. Bella, still shocked by her sister's action, silently turn her head toward the noise to see scared Carlisle and Esme huddled together behind Edward tall form. The same man who was currently staring at them with his an eyebrow raised and his arms crossed over his broad chest. His posture screamed _'Knock it off!'_ and, Rosalie must have felt it too since she took a few steps back, even if her eyes were still fixed on Bella. Edward sighed loudly.

"Esme, Car, you both sit right there while I talk to Miss Swan," he said pointing to a cream colored couch in the corner. "I want you to stay calm and not to cause any trouble for once. Is that clear?" The children, still in a shock, nodded softly and obediently went to sit, unconsciously lacing their hands together tightly. Edward then directed his attention to Bella.

"Please follow me into my office, Miss Swan. Rosalie? Get back to work and keep an eye on Laurel and Hardy here, please." Without waiting for answers he turned in the other direction and went to his office. Bella threw a last glance at Rosalie before silently following him.

* * *

Entering the office, still holding her now flaming and swollen check, Bella just stood in the middle of the room, eyes lowered to the soft, blue carpet, dreading what was to come, but when nothing happened, she couldn't help her surprised gasp when she felt someone tugging on the hand holding her check and gently applying something cold on it. Her eyes snapped up to meet Edward intense green ones, which were fixated on her. She didn't understand. _Wasn't he supposed to be mad at her? She lost the kids after all._

Edward was actually extremely pissed when he heard from the doorman that the children arrived in a taxi, _alone_. However, after a few moments, he wasn't sure to whom he should direct his anger: the kids for getting away or Isabella for being naïve enough to think that she could let them out of her sight. He felt a little bad for her since it was the first time Esmeralda and Carlisle had pulled a stunt that huge, or if they had, he didn't know about it. Still, she wasn't attentive enough. That was why after checking that the children were unharmed and reprimanding them for their action, he decided not to call Isabella to let her know where the kids were, hoping that she would learn a lesson or two out of this.

Not for a second did he think that Rosalie would react like she did. He understood a little of her fear of losing her job since she was the one who had recommended Bella, and her frustration with her air-headed sister, but he still thought that slapping Isabella was a bit too extreme. After all, she didn't end up with the easiest children.

When he saw her enter his office, looking so vulnerable and uncertain, he couldn't help his urge to go to her, take care of her. Firstly retrieving a water bottle from his mini-fridge under his desk, he slowly pulled on the hand covering her face and placed the fresh bottle against her redden check. Immediately, her beautiful eyes focused on his face, the question clear on her brown pools. _So beautiful._

"Mr. Cullen?" she asked softly. He sighed loudly. _What was he doing?_

"Keep that on your face. It will help with the swelling," he ordered, taking a cautious step back from her. Clearing his throat a few times, he gestured to his enormous desk. "Let's take a seat and discuss this matter, shall we?" His tone was now professional, the one he used in court sometimes. Bella just nodded and made her way with him over to the chair she had occupied the day before.

"Are you going to send me away?" she inquired, not looking up at him.

"Miss Swan, I hope you realize that what happened today was unacceptable," he leaned forward on his desk, crossing his long fingers, a deep frown marring his beautiful face. "I am conscious that the children took the joke too far, but you were in charge of them, therefore, you were supposed to keep them in your sight at all times. They could have got themselves kidnapped or lost, or you could have been arrested for negligence. You have to know that right now, those kids' mission is to make your life hell till you leave." Edward said forcefully, remembering all the nannies that had left the house half-crazed. "I wish for you to remember this event in the future, so that nothing similar happens. Do you understand what I am saying, Miss Swan?"

Bella was now looking at him with wide eyes. "Does that mean that I can still watch Esmeralda and Carlisle?" she asked hopefully.

Edward couldn't keep himself from laughing a little at her expression. "Yes, you can, Isabella. Although this will be the first and only time I will let something like this slide. Is that clear?"

"Of course, Mr. Cullen." She answered, giving him a brilliant smile, dazzling him. She didn't look forward to looking after the two cute, little demons, but she still hoped that in time they would accept her. However, she was still curious about their strange behavior. Why would they want to get rid of her that bad? They couldn't possibly hate her already, so she asked.

"Mr. Cullen, I was just wondering if Esmeralda and Carlisle were always like…_that_," she said, waving her free hand in the air as if showing what _that_ was.

Edward frowned and leaned back in his chair. "How do you mean?"

"Well, why are they so against having a nanny? I didn't even spend time with them, and already they are disappearing and stuff… And Esmeralda seems so…mature? So I wanted to know why. Did they have a bad nanny before or something? Are they like that with everybody?" Bella questioned, a little wary.

Edward diverted his eyes from her quickly, the line of questioning making him uncomfortable. He didn't tell her about all the nannies before her. "Actually, since they came here they had a _few nannies_," He half lied. "However, due to some unfortunate _circumstances,_ they had to leave us. Esme and Carlisle never seemed to take kindly to them, so don't feel offended. They seem to be quite hostile with strangers." He chanced a glance at her, and she seemed to believe it all. _Good_.

"Oh, I understand, I guess." Bella said nodding to herself. "Wait. You said _'they seem'_. Are you not sure or something? Don't they live with you? Or are they just visiting? Didn't you ask their parents how they behave at home?" she wondered dubiously.

"Yes, they live with me. As for their behavior with their parents, I wouldn't really know… They only came to live with me a couple months ago," he shifted in his seat._ I didn't told her about my brother either. Damn it._

Bella was confused by his behavior; he must have wondered why they were so hostile, and why were they living with their uncle in the first place?

"What do you mean? You just have to take the phone and ask. Maybe they don't feel at home here and want to go back home." Her voice was raising a little. What kind of uncle was he?

Edward, feeling cornered, threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "Ok! I will tell you everything, just stop interrogating me already." He sighed again for at least the thousandth time and roughly rubbed his face with his hands. "A few months ago my brother, Peter, Esme and Car's father… he died, in an accident. Their mother left after Carlisle's birth, and I was the only relative, so I went and took them with me." He shrugged a little, now looking at the ceiling, missing Bella's angry expression. "I didn't really see them a lot before, and they have been acting like that since they came here. So yeah, that's it," He finished a little nonchalantly, not really wanting to talk about it.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" The shout made him jump. Bella was now standing, palms flats on his desk, water bottle forgotten, looking more pissed than ever. "Now you think of telling me about this? _Only freaking now?"_ She yelled disbelievingly. "Didn't you think that I should at least know about what those kids went through before you put them under my care for a year? And you people call me irresponsible?"

Bella felt like she was going to explode or throw up. _Of course those children would be angry! They lost their father for fuck's sake! _She felt angry at everyone suddenly. First, Rosalie, thinking that she could just go around and slap her as if she was a child and now Edward _freackin'_ Cullen, trying to pull that shit on her. She was done!

Edward, who still sat shocked in his chair, recoiled a little more when she slammed her hands on the desk, before continuing her angry rant. "What did you expect, huh? For them to come to you all smiling, skipping and singing hippie's songs _just after the death of their father_? Are you completely stupid? Do I really need to explain this to you? They lost their fucking father!" She yelled.

It was now Edward's turn to be pissed. He too slammed his hands down on his desk. "I will not have you talk to me in such a manner! No matter how angry you are, don't forget that I am still your boss, Miss Swan."

"No, you are not," she said stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Of course I am. Do I need to remind you that you signed a contract, made by your own sister, stating that you can't quit before a year."

"No, actually I didn't," she smirked deviously. She didn't want to reveal this, but it seemed inevitable now. "I knew you thought I was dumb but not to the point where I would sign something that huge without checking what I am getting myself into. I wanted to spend at least a day with the kids, so the contract is still with me, _unsigned,_" she snorted loudly. "I can't believe you didn't even check. Are you sure that you're even a lawyer? Do you even win a case sometimes?"

To say that Edward was shocked was an understatement. How come he didn't even check that the contract was drawn to his conditions and signed? He couldn't believe how unprofessional he had been. Maybe he just didn't think her smart enough to pull such a thing, and in a way, she was right. It was his fault for not delivering all the information. _That didn't mean he was going to admit it. _

He straightened himself, trying to pull off a calm composure. "And are you? Going to sign the contract I mean."

"As I said, I want to spend a day with Esmeralda and Carlisle before concluding anything." She said, still royally pissed, but now wanting to try and get close to them more than anything.

"Alright, that's a deal. You can take the children back home and spend the rest of the day with them. However, I expect a clear answer from you tonight. Are we at least clear on that?" He asked, cocking a dark eyebrow.

She pretended to think about it for a while, before nodding. "Okay, let's do that." She extended her hand in his direction. Edward rolled his eyes at her dramatic behavior but shook her hand nonetheless.

* * *

The moment she got out of Edward's office with him hot on her heels, she made a bee-line for the couch where the children were sat, completely ignoring Rosalie. She felt full with some kind of weird bravado when those children were concerned. Her focus was entirely on them and trying to help them however she could.

_It's time to tame some children, babe!_

She knelt in front of them, sporting the most serious expression. They both seemed surprised by her sudden attitude change and stared at her with the cutest confused expressions. By this time, and even more after their act of disappearance, Bella should already have been running for the hills, b_ut she was still here._

"Esmeralda, Carlisle, I want you to listen and listen well. What you did earlier at the store was extremely uncalled for and dangerous. Some bad person could have taken you away or worse. I don't want this to happen ever again or I will have to punish you. Do you understand?" Bella asked them, taking the time to explain the consequences on what they did. While Carlisle was nodding frantically, Esme just stared at her blankly. She smiled gently at them and put her hands on their little knees. "Now, we are going to go home, make some snacks, do homework, and play, how is that?"

To her utter astonishment, Carlisle put his little hand on her still red check, rubbing gently. "You not go?" he whispered, cocking his head to the side. She just shook her head at him, before taking his hand in hers and kissing it. _How much cuter could he be?_

Esmeralda huffed loudly, snatched her brother's hand from Bella's, and got them both down from the couch. _Yeah, that one could work on her cuteness, it's obviously lacking…_

"If we are going home then let's go already!" she yelled, purposely stomping on Bella's foot and started to make her way toward the elevator.

Edward, who had been watching the scene unfold, not believing his own eyes, snapped at her, "Esmeralda!" But Bella cut him off.

"Let her be. I will take care of it," she got up, snatching her bag from the floor, and ran after the kids, _again._

Rosalie and Edward just stood there watching them go, both surprised. They felt like Bella was acting differently with them. She wasn't entirely distracted or acting childish as they had witnessed before. She was, maybe, getting a little better.

* * *

_**Jay's Corner**_

**I hope you liked it! I know what you're thinking… I hated Rosalie too while writing this XD **

**Outtakes:**** I have an outtake in store for you guys but I need to know if you actually want one first. The outtake is of when Edward knew of his brother's death and went to take Carlisle and Esme! So who wants it? **

**As the story goes on, if you have outtakes ideas please tell me! I will write them depended on what is asked **

**REVIEW = PREVIEW! We're almost at 100! Let's top that before next update, what do you think?**

**Fics Recommandations:**

_**A Little Bit **__**by**__** MrzEdCullen **_

_**"...please, you know you don't have to go…You could stay here, with me…" He's playing a losing game. She will always choose another, but he hopes for a change; maybe, someday.**_

**This story is a piece of art! And it's only got 61 reviews! I mean What the $^$ù$ù&"é':!**

**So please guys, run over there, read and review it!**

_**Waiting in the Waves **__**by**__** Amaryllis-Amy**_

_**I've spent years waiting for the beautiful boy that made my chest burn. He was the reason I existed, and I would wait for him. No matter how long it takes. One-shot. Maybe**_

**Oooh I love that one! My favorite so far! Mermaid Bella for you guys! Check it out!**


	6. Outtake 1 : I Promise

**Hi Guys! Here is a little surprise for you: Too Gay For You First Outtake!**

**This is in the past, when Edward learnt about Peter's death. **

**I hope you like it **

**A big Thank you to my wonderful Omega, Amaryllis-Amy and my amazing pre-reader, Casper15. You always help me so much!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

**Too Gay For You**

**Outtake 1: I Promise**

The plane landed with a sharp jolt, and Edward jumped awake. He had not realized how tired he really was until the lack of sleep from the last two days caught up with him, making him sleep through the whole ride. The nights and days after that phone call, he was way too shocked and over whelmed to do anything but sit staring into space, trying to gain some order of his jumbled thoughts, not moving until he made that life altering decision, the same decision that lead him here, to Mexico.

Passengers started to retrieve their hand luggage from the spaces above the seats and make their way off the plane. Edward waited until the last passenger passed his seat before finally getting up; allowing himself a little more time before facing what was waiting for him. He skipped baggage claim since he had only brought a duffle bag; only stopping to change his currency and make his way out of the animated airport and into the heavy, hot Mexican air. The heat assaulted him after the coolness of the airplane, making him relieved that he hadn't worn his usual suit, opting instead for a light, short-sleeved shirt and khaki shorts; an outfit he certainly would never wear in Tampa. He couldn't even remember the last time he actually wore shorts.

He hailed a cab and quickly hoped in, spurting out the address of the social center he was heading to. Huddled close to the open window, he let his thoughts drift away to the reason why he was here in the first place. He couldn't help the shudder that ran through his body when he remembered that phone call.

* * *

_It was six in the morning, and Edward had just come back home from the office after spending the night working on a particularly difficult case. _

_He kicked off his shoes and threw his tie and jacket somewhere in the living room before slumping lazily on the big white sofa dominating the room. He turned his head and gazed for a long moment through the glass walls at the trees dancing softly with the morning breeze. His house never felt better than during those moments. When he decided to move to sunny Florida, he never thought he would be able to find such a house, surrounded by trees and away from the invading sounds of the city, but he had a bit of luck, and the old couple living in the white villa wanted to sell and go touring around the world. With the help of a big offer, he managed to get the house pretty easily._

_Edward rolled onto his stomach, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep. He was way too tired to climb the two flights of stairs leading to his bedroom. _

_After what seemed to be only five minutes, he was jolted awake by the shrill sound of his phone ringing. He hastily retrieved it, squinted at the unknown number for a second and cleared his throat while bringing the phone to his ear._

"_Hello, Edward Cullen speaking," he said as pleasantly as he could with a still half groggy voice, in case it was a client._

"_Mr. Cullen?" A voice with a strong Hispanic accent questioned. "This is Officer Gomez; I am calling from the Mexican main police station about your brother, Mr.… Peter Cullen?" The last part was said as a question, like the officer wanted a confirmation._

_To say that Edward was surprised was an understatement. That the call was from Mexico wasn't what shocked him, he already knew that his brother was residing in Mexico with his children and had been for a while, a couple of years actually. When Edward asked why he decided on Mexico, Peter talked for a while with wonder in his voice about how it was the best location to take his photos. The views, the people, everything called to him. No, what surprised Edward the most was that the police had anything to do with Peter. Out of the two twins, Peter had always been the calm one, not talking much and constantly trying to stay out of trouble, living in his own bubble. The only person he would let in and who really knew him was Edward. Even when he was married to Charlotte, she didn't really know him, not that she would have listened. _

_So Edward was certain that Peter wouldn't do anything remotely unlawful to get himself arrested. The only other option was that something had happened to him, and Edward immediately rejected that thought, for once wishing that his twin had just gotten in trouble._

"_Yes, what about my brother?" Edward asked anxiously, shifting himself into a sitting position._

"_I am sorry to tell you that your brother was in a car accident last night," the man said hesitantly._

_Strangely, relief washed through Edward. He knew he would have to go to Mexico and help his brother with recovery and the children, but he wanted to believe that everything would be alright._

"_Oh, I see," Edward sighed. "Is he ok? What are his injuries? Which hospital is he in?" He asked, getting up and going into the kitchen, taking a bottle of water out of the fridge._

_Officer Gomez cleared his throat awkwardly, "I don't think you understand, Mr. Cullen." He cleared his throat again, and Edward paused, the bottle halfway to his mouth. "Your brother collided with a truck transporting essence. He didn't survive the fire and died almost instantly. I am sorry, Mr. Cullen." He finished with that abruptness that only police officers seemed to possess._

_Edward's water bottle smashed onto the white floor, making a loud splashing noise in the process. He didn't say anything, just stood there staring ahead, his face blank, ignoring the jabbering of the officer in his ear._

_When he finally spoke, his voice was cold, stoic, and completely void of emotions, "You are wrong. It's not possible; that can't happen. That wouldn't happen to him. Please check again." He was shaking his head almost violently while talking. There was no way this was real. Maybe he was still sleeping. He hoped._

"_Mr. Cullen, I know this is hard, but it's the truth and if we want this to work, I need you to be willing. The funeral has to be taken care of and…"_

_Without waiting for him to finish his sentence, Edward hung up the phone._

* * *

The cab came to a stop in front of a fairly, large grey office-like building with 'National Social Work' written in Spanish in big bold letters next to the main entrance. The driver's voice asking for the ride fee brought Edward out of his thoughts. Without a word, he handed him the money and got out of the taxi which took off immediately. Edward paused to take in his surroundings. The area seemed to be on the wealthy side of town, with all kinds of colorful tropical plants around. In the middle of all those colors, the tern grey social building looked misplaced, exactly mirroring Edward's mood.

Sighing, he passed the automatic doors and looked around for some sort of front desk. He found it after a few minutes and came to stand in front of the secretary who was too busy reading a magazine to notice him.

_I guess it doesn't change depending on the country_, he thought with exasperation. He cleared his throat loudly, making her jump and asked in a perfect Spanish, surprising her even more.

"Hello, can you tell me where I can find Officer Gomez? He is waiting for me."

She watched him suspiciously for a second, clearly still miffed about her interrupted reading. "Can you give me your name, sir?" she asked taking the phone out of the hook.

"Edward Cullen," Edward replied curtly. If she was going to be rude, then so was he.

She talked on the phone for a few seconds, hung up, and told him that he could find Gomez in the Child Care service on the seventh floor, and that he was waiting for him then promptly returned to her magazine, leaving Edward to find his own way to the elevators.

The whole ride up, Edward could feel reality setting in, causing his heart to start beating wildly in his chest and black spots to appear in his vision. He never took care of children before, never even approached them, and now he would be in charge of two. _What was he thinking?_ Suddenly, he wanted to run and never come back. Just as he thought that, the doors of the elevator opened.

_Too late._

A short, round man with tanned skin was waiting for him right in front of the elevators. He stuck out his hand in Edward's direction.

"Edward Cullen?" Edward immediately recognized the strongly accented voice from the phone call. He nodded taking the offered hand. "I am Officer Gomez; we talked on the phone."

Edward resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Let's cut the pleasantries, shall we? Where are they?" He knew he was being rude but, really, he didn't care at this point.

"Of course. Follow me, please," Gomez replied, not at all disturbed by Edward's attitude. He was certainly used to it, dealing with criminals and all the works. The Officer lead Edward through a couple corridors before coming to a halt in front of a room, completely bare except for two little beds and a television in the right corner. The room was painted in a depressing grey like the rest of the building, no windows, and the lighting was dim, but the state of the room wasn't what had Edward's attention. It was the two little bodies cuddled together on one bed, the main reason of his presence here, the only reason why he called back.

_Esmeralda and Carlisle Cullen._

* * *

_Edward didn't know how long he sat there, his back to his kitchen counter, staring at the water bottle. He still didn't realize what was happening._

_Peter. Dead._

_All the time they spent together kept flashing in front of his eyes, breaking his heart a little more each second. However, when he tried to remember the last time he saw him in person, his mind came up blank. Sure they talked on the phone often, but they never had the time to travel and see each other in the last couple of years. The last time he saw him was a few months after Carlisle's birth and his divorce with Charlotte. Peter had been a mess, and Edward had stopped everything he was doing to go and help his brother. _

_He could remember how tired he looked, working and taking care of his newborn and three year old little girl. He could remember the pain Charlotte had caused him when she deserted them. He could remember the curious little girl with his mother's hair following him everywhere and the blond haired giggling and chubby little baby boy. He could remember talking with them on Skype and seeing them grow up._

_Esmeralda and Carlisle Cullen, the same names as their deceased parents, and now Edward was their only family._

_This realization started a new line of thinking for Edward. Where they in the accident too? Gomez didn't say anything about them, so where were they? Who was taking care of them?_

_Without waiting, he snatched his phone from the floor and called back the last received number. Officer Gomez answered after only one ringing._

"_Mr. Cullen. I knew you would call back," he said smugly. Edward didn't have time to play with him._

"_Where are they?" Edward asked impatiently._

"_Where are who?"_

"_The children! My brother has two children, a little girl and boy. Where are they!" Edward almost yelled on the phone._

"_Ah, yes," the rustling of papers could be heard through the phone. "Esmeralda Mae Cullen and Carlisle Edward Cullen, right?" Edward nodded even if he knew he couldn't see him. "They are alright; they weren't in the car, but they are really shaken by the news. We found them in the neighbor's house. They have been put in the hands of the Children Social Care for now."_

_At the sound of "Social Care" Edward could feel his blood boil. He hated all sorts of child care facilities, having lived in them most of his life. While he was alive, there was no way his niece and nephew would stay in those too._

"_NO!" Edward yelled forcefully surprising the Officer. "You don't have the right to put them there! It had been established from the moment they were born that I would be the one taking care of them if anything happened to my brother!" He said through clenched teeth._

"_I know that Mr. Cullen. However, right now, you are not in Mexico, are you? What did you want us to do, leave them at home alone?" Gomez asked rhetorically "We had to put them into care. It's standard procedure." He said with finality. When he received no response, he continued, "Now, I am going to email you the information to the Social building and let you calm down. You don't need to scare the children, and if I feel like you are too unstable to take the children, I will do everything I can to stop the procedure. Is that clear, Mr. Cullen?"_

_Edward wanted to scream at him to fuck off and smash a few things but refrained. Instead he simply said, "I will be there in two days." And again he hung up on him._

_He passed the next two days in a daze, just sitting around his house. Not working, not eating, and not sleeping, only reading and re-reading the email Officer Gomez had sent him, not knowing if he should call and try to talk to the children. It's only when he finally decided to throw a few clothes in a bag for his stay and had stumbled on a picture of him and Peter during college that he started to feel again. He ended up in a crumpled ball on his bedroom floor, crying and sobbing almost hysterically, letting it all out. _

_He cried for his brother, he cried for him, he cried for the children. He cried because he was angry. He cried because he had realized that he would never see his brother again._

* * *

Edward realized that he had been staring at the children for a while now. Slowly, he made his way to the little bed where the children were huddled together and sat down on the edge. Two terrified pairs of green eyes locked on him, and instantly, he regretted not coming sooner and wanting to run.

He smiled sadly at them and touched their faces with the tip of his fingers. "Hey," he whispered.

Carlisle leaped from his sister's embrace and into Edward's, crying softly. Gently, he rocked him. Esmeralda just sat there staring blankly, an expression he never saw on her face before. She was usually so lively and happy, the sweetest child. However, at that moment, all he could see was the pain she was trying to hide behind her blank expression. It broke his heart even more.

Still rocking Carlisle, he tenderly ran his fingers through her auburn curls and said, "Everything will be ok; I promise. We are going home."

He didn't know if he could fulfill this promise, but he was going to try_._

* * *

**So… how was it?**

**Let me know if you want another outtake! I will gladly write it **

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	7. Chapter 5 - Break The Bottles

_**Jay's corner**_

***Peeks from behind the door***

**Hi? I hope you guys don't hate me yet XD It's been a while but as I told you I had a few things to do before I could write again.**

**So, since I felt bad I wrote you an **_**extra**_**-long chapter! I had to write it two times since my laptop crashed and I lost all my files****. Ugh.**

**I want to thank my pre-reader (and beta for this chapter) **_**Casper15**_**, she is wonderful and helped me when I had a dilemma while I was writing! Thank you **

**Since I know a lot of you were curious after the preview I sent, I will shut up now! Enjoy!**

* * *

_**Too Gay For You**_

_**Chapter 5: Break the bottles**_

The sunlight shining against her eyelids and the harsh pounding in her head forced Bella out of her deep sleep. Trying to get away from the light, she rolled to find herself burrowing into something warm. Not only that but she was lying on a really comfy mattress. Bella's mattress was everything but _comfy_. Furrowing her brows in confusion, she opened her eyes a little and immediately closed them; the brightness in the room was causing her head to hurt more.

_What the hell? Did she drink last night? Or did someone knock her on the head?_

She started to panic a little, praying that she didn't manage to get herself kidnapped. With great effort, she began to focus on what she remembered last.

It was clear until she got the children home from the Cullen building but after that her mind came up completely empty. She could already hear Rosalie's voice in her head…_ Bella Swan, what did you do, again? Blah, Blah, Blah…_

Groaning a little, she decided that she wouldn't know anything until she fully opened her eyes, at least to see where she was. Squeezing them shut first, she sent a little prayer to the God of Headaches asking him to be kind for once and grant her a few minutes without pain. She slowly pried her eyes open and what she saw was delightfully unexpected.

It was a chest. More precisely, a _man's chest_.

A really beautiful chest with full abs and very large muscular pecs.

She wanted to lick it and touch it. No, maybe touch it first then lick it. _Yum_.

Before she had time to do either or check to see who _the man with the beautiful chest _was, she heard a door behind her slam open. Bella jumped up, immediately regretting it when the God of Headaches took back his blessing. She felt the man next to her sit up as well and groan in pain. _Feel my pain, bud._ She started to turn in his direction but stopped when she heard a screech from the door.

"What the HELL is going on in here?"

Bella's head snapped toward the door to see a tall woman with strawberry blond hair reaching just below her shoulders, and the most beautiful face, standing there. A face that was bright red with anger. Strangely, she reminded Bella of someone but she couldn't put her finger on who…

"Tan?" That wasn't the woman talking. _No, no_. That voice came from behind Bella, clearly from the man with the beautiful chest that she wanted to lick and touch. Bella knew this voice. Now the real question was:

_What the fuck was she doing in bed with Edward Cullen?_

* * *

_-16 Hours Before-_

The journey home was oddly accident-free. Carlisle and Esmeralda walked ahead of Bella the whole way, holding there little hands tightly together, their heads bent toward each other whispering . No doubt conspiring. Sometimes glancing back at Bella.

It was obvious that it wasn't the first time that they walked from the office to the house; they seemed to know the road by heart. Soon, they reached the trees and the narrow path leading to the white villa and again Bella was struck by the beauty of the place. The hot Tampa sun shining through the trees only made it appear more heavenly. She couldn't help but imagine how it would feel to have such a wonderful subject to draw; her hands were already twitching in anticipation.

Bella was so lost in her thoughts; _once again_, she didn't even realize that the children didn't wait for her to let themselves in, throwing their backpacks on the floor in the living room before flopping down on the couch and turning the TV on.

_How in the world did they open the door? _Observing the door closer, she noticed a sort of electronic lock that she never saw before. It had a pad with numbers, for a password certainly and a little squared place to put your thumb. Bella wondered briefly if all rich people had such high-tech locks.

Rushing in the house, she froze for a moment to admire it from the inside for the first time. It was a beautiful house. The open areas made it look even more spacious and the glass walls gave the feeling that you weren't really in a house but outside enjoying the sun. However, looking at Carlisle and Esmeralda in here, it gave off a strangely uncomfortable feeling… If she hadn't seen them with her own two eyes, Bella would never have believed that children actually lived here. Excluding the few toys laying on the floor and the little paint handprints on one of the leather couches, everything was too neat and clean, too white and orderly, not homey. Just like a hospital; not at all fitting for little children. Bella sighed; Edward Cullen's house sure fit his personality.

She was brought back to the present when a booming noise came from the television and Carlisle and Esme giggled loudly. Remembering what she was here for, Bella slipped back into what she started calling _"Badass Nannyella"_. Someone had to teach these children right from wrong and it might as well be her! Even if she wasn't the best example…who cares, she knew the mechanics of it… _well, most of it… or at least a little bit… maybe not. _Anyway, she was already here, so there was no way she would step back and give up before she even started. _Go, Go, Nannyella, Go! _

After her little cheer, she marched straight up to the television and turned it off, sighing in relief when the loud noise stopped. She didn't have a TV at home and she wasn't use to the noise, favoring quiet moments with a pencil and paper.

The kids groaned annoyingly from their place on the couch.

"What are you doing? We were watching that. Couldn't you see?!" Esmeralda asked rudely, crossing her little arms over her chest. Ignoring her rude behavior, Bella answered in what she hoped was a calm but firm voice.

"I saw alright, Miss Rude-Pants. But right now is not the time to watch TV. You still have to clean up and have a snack before doing your homework. Then, and only if you're good, you can watch TV, Ok?"

She watched as Esmeralda looked at her in surprise for a second before frowning deeply, her features morphing into a stubborn expression. She jumped down from her slouched position on the couch to come and stand right in front of Bella, looking her right in the eyes and holding her chin up.

"I don't care what you say, you're dumb anyway, and who listens to dumb people?" Esmeralda said slowly as if she was talking to another child. "I said I want to watch TV now so I will! The other nannies never said anything! So you can't tell me what to do!"

Bella couldn't hide the hurt from her face when Esme called her 'dumb'. She was used to Rosalie calling her that but having a six year old tell her she was stupid left her with an even more bitter feeling. _Was she really that transparent that even kids couldn't respect her?_

Still, without missing a beat or losing her temper, she bent down at the waist to reach Esmeralda's level and looked back at her with the best bitchface she could muster, trying to imitate Alice's perfect one.

"Listen to me, _Esmeralda Cullen_. If there is one thing you need to understand right this moment, it's that I am nothing like any of the nannies you had before. Do you know why?" Bella raised an eyebrow and smirked slightly before continuing without waiting for an answer. "It's because I can be way more stubborn that you will ever be. Whatever you do, I can do worse without even thinking about it." She snorted. "I do it on a daily basis and get scolded for it too. So what makes you think you, a child, can do whatever you want whenever you want?" Bella stared at her for a few seconds trying to see if she got her point across. When Esmeralda just kept looking at her stubbornly, she righted herself, understanding that this will be a duel to the end. "You think I can't tell you what to do? Watch me." On those words, Bella reached behind the big flat screen to unplug the alimentation, from the wall knowing the children were way too short to reach it.

Satisfied with her action, she turned back to the children who were staring at her with their eyes wide and their mouths hanging open. Clearly, it was the first time they got that kind of reaction and they didn't seem to take it well, mostly Esmeralda.

_Understatement of the year_.

"Now, if you want your snack you will take your backpacks, march up those stairs and go change and wash up. I will be up in a minute to help you and check, so no funny business, understood?"

Esmeralda just threw her a nasty glare that made Bella shiver a little, snatched up her backpack and her brother's before stomping up the stairs. Only little Carlisle, who hadn't said anything since they came back in, stayed standing in front of her, looking at her shockingly. Bella crouched down and smiled at him, ruffling his soft blond hair.

"What's up, little sun?" she asked him, throwing him a wink. He covered his mouth with his hands and giggled cutely into them, sending Bella into a fit of giggles too.

How cute could this kid be, really?

"Bewa?" he said when he stopped laughing, placing a hand on her cheek and tilting his head to the side, just like he did in the office earlier. "I wead you bookz lata', ok?"

It took her a second to understand what he said but when she did she nodded eagerly, flashing him a brilliant smile. "Of course, you can read me books later, little sun. Now chop chop and go change!" She demanded giving his little butt a light tap. He turned to run up the stairs and she waited for him to reach the top before letting herself fall on the floor in a heap.

It was like all her bravado and façade while attending these kids left her breathless. That wasn't her. She was, distracted, crazy, not-capable-of-keeping-a-job, irresponsible Bella. She always had been. But now she was responsible for two orphan children whom she almost lost today. And was employed by their rich asshole uncle. And she has a sister who surely hated her. Let's not forget that one of those children hated her with a passion and was, even if it was humiliating to admit, rather intimidating.

_Seriously, since when did they start to produce such scary little girls?_

Bella felt overwhelmed by all those changes in such a short period. She never was the serious one that people could look upon and take advice from. It was hard for her to maintain the façade for a few minutes; she didn't know how she will be able to manage it all the time. Suddenly, she felt like riding a Camel to The Sahara Desert and never coming back. _Yeah, that sounded like a good idea._

On the other hand, she knew she couldn't just abandon Carlisle and Esmeralda to their own fate. Obviously, they were still deeply affected by everything that happened, Esmeralda more so. Bella couldn't help but wonder if she knew more than she was letting on. That little girl seemed so _angry,_ Bella never saw her really smile. Even when she was laughing with her brother, it still seemed kind of fake.

Isabella could still remember when she was in the same situation. She just wanted to smash everything, cry and scream; and that's exactly what she did. For the month following their father and brother's sudden departure, when they started living with _the lady,_ Bella was almost uncontrollable. Esme's behavior was nothing in comparison. She just needed someone to listen even if she didn't know how to say what was weighing on her heart.

It was then that Bella had an epiphany. Suddenly, she just knew and couldn't believe that the answer was right in front of her eyes. Esmeralda was not different from her and she just needed someone to help her realize what she was feeling and put her feelings into words and listen to those words.

She could do that. She could listen. _Because she was the one who understood it all._

With a new determination, she rose from the floor and went searching for the kitchen, only to be awe-struck by the beauty of the villa once again. She started raiding the cupboards, searching for something which could be used as a snack till dinner time and discovered a new fact. Not only did Edward Cullen match his house to himself but his food too. She couldn't find one child-friendly food in the kitchen. Hell, most of it was instant food. No cakes, No candy, No milk. It was unbelievable and quite scary, really. Was he that oblivious or just plain selfish?

Groaning in defeat, Bella grabbed fruits and proceed to make the fastest fruit salad in history, adding bread and putting it all on two little plates. Then, she poured two cups of orange juice, setting everything on the big glass dinner table. Again, she wondered how three and six year old children could eat comfortably on such a big table. She really needed to start making some changes around here, starting with groceries, and soon.

Finally, she started walking up the stairs taking in the non-changing white surroundings. She passed a few doors, following the little voices to the end of a corridor and pushed on the door, of what seemed to be the children's room, opening it and doing a double take.

It was the biggest mess. Toys and clothes were thrown everywhere; the drawers were pulled out and on the floor with their content most likely somewhere in the room. Even the curtains were half hanging on the floor. The only things which seemed still in form were the two single beds and a big bookcase full of books against the only wall that wasn't glass.

And of course, there was Carlisle and Esmeralda…

They were out of their school uniforms but still half-dressed and currently throwing pillows at each other's faces, like little monkeys on drugs. Bella would have found it cute if she wasn't so pissed. Taking a deep breath to try and calm herself, she cleared her throat once, twice and when she got no response she clapped her hands loudly, finally catching the children's attention. They twirled around to look at her and Bella raised an eyebrow while giving them the once over. While Esmeralda was mostly dressed in a white tank top and unfastened shorts, Carlisle was only in his Pokémon undies watching her with the biggest smile on his face as if everything was normal. Bella couldn't hide her smile at his expression; this kid was a real cutie.

"What happened in here, huh?" Bella questioned, shaking her head a little before giving them a disapproving look. Esmeralda completely ignored her, put the pillow on a bed and turned to finish getting dressed. Carlisle quickly put his clothes on then strutted to her clapping happily.

"We pway! Bewa pway too?" But before she could answer, she was cut off by Esme.

"Shut up Car!" She screeched giving him a glare. The smile disappeared from his face and he frowned. Bella looked at her too shocked for words.

"But…" He whispered, tears brimming in his eyes.

"I said shut up! We don't play with her, remember? Now come on." She grabbed Carlisle's hand and started tugging him toward the door but before they could go anywhere, Bella positioned herself in front of the door, blocking the way.

"Esmeralda! You can't talk to your brother like that! If he wants to talk, he has the right to talk just like you do!" She gave her a hard look and Esme just turned her head in the other direction. "And tell me where do you think you are going? Didn't you see the state of this room? Who do you think is going to clean it up? Hm?"

Before she could add something, Esme rushed forward, pushing Bella hard on the hip with her shoulder, causing her to stumble onto the door frame.

"If you want it clean, then clean it!" She screamed while running down the corridor and stairs taking Carlisle with her. Bella immediately righted herself and took off after them, almost falling down the stairs in the process, and found them sitting at the dinner table eating their fruits calmly, the image of the perfect children.

But Bella knew better now. She approached them warily, a suspicious look on her face as she rounded the table. When she was sure that they weren't planning something sneaky, she came to stand at the end of the table and thought about what they still have to do. It was almost 5pm now, they still haven't started on their homework and their room was a complete war zone. The moment they put the last piece of fruit in their mouth, she started to speak before they took the chance and tried to escape.

"Ok, guys. I know you aren't going to like it but there is no way your room stays like that." She scowled a little. "It's really dangerous to have a room so messy because then bugs and insects will come and hide in there." Esme's eyes widened comically. _Huh oh… Seems like someone is afraid of bugs_. Bella smirked internally. _I so rule this!_ "So here is what we are going to do. You are going to go and get your homework and we will go over it together; then we will take care of your room so bugs will stay away, ok?"

Bella couldn't help the little laugh that escaped her when Esme, who likes to just ignore her, started nodding eagerly and ran up the stairs coming back with both of their backpacks a few seconds later. They all sat on cushions around the coffee table in the living-room and while Bella helped Carlisle with his numbers since he only went to the School Day-Care and didn't have homework, Esmeralda sat quietly on her side, focusing on her alphabet. Bella tried to help her but she only met a resounding 'NO' when she asked if she wanted help. After half an hour of trying to explain to Carlisle why 'twenty-ten' doesn't exist, Bella checked on Esme's homework and declared homework time finished.

Their room was next. The children started to put their toys back into their play chest and Bella went to search the house for cleaning supplies, knowing she saw them somewhere earlier. Once she found them, she went back to the children's room to find them folding their clothes; well for Carlisle _trying_ would be a better word. He was just rolling them in balls and putting them on the bed; but then he will look at Esmeralda's clothes folded neatly on her bed, frown and try to fold the cloth again. Bella went to sit next to him on the floor, giving him a sweet smile and pushed his hair out his eyes.

"Why the frown, Sunny?" She asked, referring to his bright blond hair. His blue eyes focused on her brown eyes and he pouted, making Bella's heart melt like chocolate.

"I do cloz but I no good." He held up a rolled shirt as if to prove his point. "You hep me Bewa, pwease?" he asked her, pleading with his eyes. How could she deny him anything?

"Of course, sweet pea." She answered softly, reached for a shirt and showed him how to fold it correctly. Esme who was watching the scene with rapt interest suddenly threw the dress she had in her hands right on Bella's head.

"Why are you helping him and not me? That's not fair!" She yelled, crossing her little arms and sitting down on the floor too. Bella grabbed the dress off her head, folded it and went to put it with Esme's other clothes on the bed.

"If you want help, Esmeralda, you have to ask politely first. Your little brother did so I am helping him; it's as simple as that." Bella stated, her hands placed on her round hips. Esme looked at her for a moment, the hesitancy visible in her eyes. Bella could feel her hope getting up but it was crushed when Esme huffed stubbornly and went back to folding her clothes, showing her back to Bella.

Bella just sighed going back to helping Carlisle. _At least this one liked her._

* * *

_-13 hours before-_

After a good hour of cleaning, it was actually possible to see the real color of the children's bedroom floor. Everything was in place; only the curtains remained unattached since Bella was too short to tie them back, even standing on a chair.

At the moment, Esme and Carlisle were watching TV while she was trying to figure out what she would cook for dinner. The fridge was almost empty, irritating her, and her wig was growing uncomfortable, pissing her off even more. After debating for a few minutes, she found a can of mushrooms and decided on a mushroom cream omelet and started to get what she would need.

It was then she realized that she hadn't heard the children say anything for a while now. She slowly made her way toward the living room only to find it empty, the television still on. She turned it off and was going to call for them but stopped short when she felt something wet land on her back. She twirled around, coming nose to nose with two little pranksters armed with full water guns and gasped in surprise when another patch of water landed right on her forehead and her short wig, slowly rolling down her face. A sharp, shocked laugh escaped her when the situation finally dawned on her.

"Oh, you little…" Before she could finish her sentence a perfectly aimed splash of water entered her mouth and she immediately started sputtering it out causing the children to laugh hysterically, almost rolling on the floor. They were so absorbed in their fun that they didn't noticed Bella launching herself forward and grabbing Carlisle's water gun. They stopped laughing the moment they realized that they were now equally armed. Carlisle ran to hide himself behind his sister, who was staring at Bella with an air of defiance as if daring her to fire first. They sized each other up for a few moments before starting to shoot water at each other in earnest. Soon, they were all completely soaked and the tense mood dissolved into a playful one, the sound of laughter still filling the house even when the guns became empty.

Finding herself gasping for air on the floor, Bella couldn't help the elated feeling that washed over her when she saw the bright smile on Esme's face. Full bronze curls and green eyes, both the exact same shade as Edward's; she was truly a beautiful child. When their eyes met, Bella smiled softly at her and to her utter disappointment Esmeralda seemed to tense up immediately. All traces of laughter left her face and she jumped up, running up the stairs, her hair flying behind her. Bella sighed. She already knew it wouldn't be that easy but she was still aggravated.

She jumped a little when she felt a wet little body climb on her lap.

"Meme is sad? No pway no more?" Carlisle whispered sadly, laying his head on her chest. Bella started stroking his hair gently, not knowing how to explain to him why his sister was behaving this way.

"Yes, sweetheart, Esmeralda is a little sad lately… but I am going to do my best so that she is happy again , I promise" she said kissing hid head lightly.

He just frowned deeply. "Unca Eddie made pwomise too…" he said so low that she almost didn't hear him. Bella wanted to question him about what he said, but he got up from her lap and looked at her with an impatient expression. "Bewa, I hungwy now."

Bella's eyes widened as she remember that she hadn't started on dinner and left everything out on the kitchen counter. She got up hastily, telling Carlisle to go upstairs and tell his sister that it was time to put their pajamas on while she finished making their dinner.

She then ran into the kitchen, throwing her now wet wig on her bag letting her long hair fall in soft brown waves down her back. Her hair was slightly damp and smelling a little like sweat but she figured she could wash it later and focused on cracking eggs and mixing the mushroom cream. She quickly finished, putting the omelets on three plates, leaving one on the fridge for Mr. Cullen and putting the other two on the big dining table. The children choose that exact moment to come into the kitchen, both in their sleeping clothes as instructed and Bella giggled at little Car's Pikachu sleep suit; with his blond hair and cute face, it was incredibly fitting; her own love for the little creatures making her smile. Bella watched them enter the room in surprise; she didn't know what she exactly expected but it sure wasn't for them to do as they were told. Looking closer, she noticed how tired they looked, it was normal after the day they had, and she based their sudden obedient behavior on them being exhausted.

She stepped forward to help Carlisle on his seat before realizing how ridiculous all of this was. _Why would kids eat on such an enormous uncomfortable table? Carlisle's head didn't even completely reach higher than the table._

"Wait" she told them, they looked up at her in surprise when she took the two plates off the table. "Follow me." She walked with determination to the living room, set the plates on the coffee table and gestured for them to sit on the same cushions they used while doing their homework. They sat down looking a little lost, clearly not understanding the change of location. "From now on, this is where we eat. That table is way too big. What was your uncle thinking?" she explained, muttering the last part. Carlisle gave her the biggest smile and started eating in earnest like it as his first meal since last week, humming in pleasure and looking too cute for words. On the other hand, Esme eyed the omelet suspiciously for a minute before tentatively taking a bite. Bella witnessed proudly as her eyes widened and she took another eager bite.

For the first time since she met them, they were completely silent. Bella knew that her cooking was good; after all with the quantity of food she ate it would be strange if her cooking was bad, but Rosalie wasn't a fan of compliments and it felt good to see someone enjoying it.

Bella slowly rose from the floor like she was afraid to disturb the peace reining in the house and went to retrieve glasses and a bottle of water from the fridge. She served Car only half of a glass, not sure if he was still wetting his bed, and turned to Esmeralda.

"Would you like some water, Esmeralda?" she asked gently, anticipating the certain harsh reply that was coming. Imagine her surprise when the little girl answered her in the softest voice.

"Yes, please." She didn't look at her when she talked, hiding behind her hair, but, hey, it was a start. Bella put the glass of water in front of her and turned when she felt eyes on her. Carlisle was looking at her with the oddest expression, his little face scrunched up in confusion. She gave him an encouraging smile.

"Bewa?" he whispered "You hava' magic haiw?" he asked staring at her hair. "You haiw is long supa' fast!" he exclaimed, his eyes opened wide and his arms parted in a grand gesture.

It took everything in Bella not to start laughing out loud. She could feel her eyes water with the effort but managed to respond in a somewhat controlled voice.

"No, Sunny. I was wearing a wig earlier that's all." Seeing his brows furrowed at the term, she explained. "A wig is like… It's fake hair that you put on top of your real hair to hide it. That's why I wear it; I want to hide my hair. This is my real hair." She finished pointing at her brows curls.

He grinned at her. "Bewa's pwetty!" He sang, tilting his head from side to side.

"Why?" The question surprised Bella. Not because she didn't know how to answer but because it came from Esme. The little girl looked up at her through her hair and clearly taking her surprised expression the wrong way, she quickly went on. "I mean your hair is pretty, I would like to have hair like that." She shrugged, blushing a little.

The smile on Bella's face could put the sun to shame. Hesitantly, she reached up and passed her fingers through Esme's hair. "Thank you, princess. But your hair is the prettiest." She said winking at her.

Blushing profusely now, Esme pushed Bella's hand out of her hair and got up gathering her and her brother's plates in her hands, refusing to meet Bella's eyes. "It doesn't change that you're still dumb!" she huffed, rushing into the kitchen. Bella's smile didn't even waver; no matter how Esmeralda tried to appear, the words were not half as mean and harsh as earlier. For the third time that day, Bella felt hope.

* * *

_-9 hours before-_

Bella was standing alone in the kitchen after the kids finally went to sleep. She was exhausted after everything that happened.

Surprisingly, bed time wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Esmeralda sat quietly on her bed listening to her iPod –_seriously, since when do six year olds need iPods?_- while Carlisle was lying with Bella on his bed, reading her _bookz_, as he called them. They were just image books, and he was making up the entire story but Bella ate it all up, acting surprised or sad at all the right moments, much to his pleasure.

When he started to doze off, Bella gently tucked him in and went to turn off his bedside lamp only to be stopped by Esmeralda.

"You can't turn it off. He gets scared in the dark." She said not looking up from her gadget. Bella wanted to ask her why they didn't have their own room, the house was big enough and she was already six, but she refrained figuring that she pushed her enough for one day. She kissed Carlisle blond head lightly and turned to Esmeralda, hesitating, however the decision was made for her when she put her iPod under her pillow and turned away from Bella, burrowing under her blanket.

After that Bella proceed to clean the house, getting rid of the paint on the white sofa with a wet rag and some nail polish remover she had in her bag. It was Alice's because Bella wouldn't go near nail polish for anything in the world.

So at 11pm, the toys lying around were back at their place, the kitchen neat and the leather sofa was free of the little hand prints.

_But Edward Cullen still wasn't there._

Bella huffed in irritation throwing herself down on the couch in the living room. She didn't have his number and she didn't want to call Rosalie to ask her for it. She too had some dignity and was still royally pissed that she hit her.

She reached for her bag, getting the big bag full of candy she bought for the kids before retrieving them at school. Every one that knew Bella knew of her love for candy and anything sweet. She opened the bag, popping one candy in her mouth and humming in appreciation while looking around the room. She narrowed her eyes when something caught her attention in the corner. She didn't even realize before but there was a tall statue of a naked Apollo standing there. Bella busted out laughing; not that having a statue was funny but someone had tied a flowery loincloth around the Apollo private parts, clearly to try and preserve the children's innocence.

Bella made her way to the statue and sat down in front on it, bag of candy still in her hands and slowly peeked under the cloth before laughing even more. _What, it was funny!_

She cleared her throat and patted Apollo's leg, feeling strangely guilty.

"Listen, I am not really laughing at you, I promise!" she said throwing her hands in the air, " I just never thought Apollo's… hum … _thing_… would be so little. I thought you were a God." She snorted and put a fistful of candy in her mouth. She chewed for a while and looked up at the statue again. "Don't you feel lonely? I mean since you can't talk and all, I suppose no one takes the time to talk to you." She paused as if waiting for an answer. "I know how you feel, you know…" she nodded to herself, "Whenever I say something I feel like everyone thinks it's not worth listening to. So I prefer to stay silent most of the time now, it's easier. At the end your method is the best; silence is cool too."

She got up, taking her candies, and faced the statue again. "How about we become friends? I'm Bella, nice to meet ya!" She continued her one-sided discussion, putting her hand on the Apollo's unmoving one as if to shake it. "And you're Apollo; I know so don't feel pressured to say anything back." Bella put a hand on its shoulder in a comforting gesture. "How about we give you a nickname huh? I mean, no offense but what kind of name is Apollo anyway? Let me think…" She started to pace, seeming deep in thought. After a few seconds, she clapped her hands in childlike excitement and faced him again. "I know! How about Popo? It's great! So Bella and Popo! That sounds good, right. God, I'm a genius." She looked at Popo's face expectantly and after obviously getting no answer, she huffed, sticking her tongue out before stomping to the kitchen since her new BFF didn't seem to be in a talkative mood tonight.

_And now I am talking to a statue… Bravo, Bella Swan! Way to go! You really need more friends. _She thought grimly but her pity party stopped immediately when she heard the sound of a car parking in front of the house. She didn't move, waiting patiently for the person to come in and find her there. The sound of someone pressing numbers on the lock pad was heard and Edward Cullen made his way inside of his house. He hung his vest and threw his work bag on the floor and Bella didn't have to wonder anymore where the children learned it.

He looked around the house warily. It was actually _clean_. Not a toy, a cloth on the floor, for the first time in two months his house really looked like his house. Looking for Bella, he entered the kitchen and stopped short when he saw a head full of thick brown hair standing near the counter with her back to him.

"Who are…" he started to demand but stopped himself when she turned around. _Isabella Swan. Holy Shit, This is Isabella Swan! _He suspected that she was wearing a wig before but now she looked even more beautiful and it wasn't helping in any way. Only he would be lusting after his lesbian nanny. _Well, it's not like anyone else wouldn't! She's hot! Look at her body, man… and that luscious hair… I would…_ He must have stared at her longer than socially acceptable because she was suddenly standing in front of him pinching his check _hard_. "Ouch! What the hell!" he cried holding his stinging check. _Yeah, at the end she was still crazy._

Bella just rolled her eyes in response. "Don't be such a baby! You should just take a picture it will last longer!" she said scowling at him. No matter how hot he looked in his perfectly tailored suit, in her eyes he was still an asshole. "Now, how come you're here now?"

He looked at her in surprise. "What do you mean? This is my house!"

She rolled her eyes again and he frowned at her. "I know that, idiot!" she almost growled at him. The more time passed, the more she was remembering all the things she needed to tell him, starting with his lack of good food for the children and she had trouble controlling her temper. "I mean at this hour! It's almost midnight for fuck's sake! I have a home too you know, and it's not next door. What are you going to do if something happen to me while I walk in the streets at the crack of dawn, huh?" She didn't let him answer and pressed a finger on his chest and pushed him a little. "I'll tell you! Nothing, because you're a selfish asshole!" she said her voice rising a little. She knew she had to calm down before she woke up the children.

Edward was conscious that he wasn't her favorite person but he didn't realize she hated him that much. It wasn't like he deserved it. His inner voice immediately made itself known.

_Nooo, of course you don't… you just got her fired, insulting her in the process, then accused her of plotting against you and you hide vital information from her. Of course, she should just love you about now._

Edward scowled internally. _Ok, maybe after all he deserved it._ He cleared his throat awkwardly and glanced back at Bella who was still fuming. He looked at her with his best sincere face and spoke softly. "You are right and I am sorry. I should at least have called to tell you I would be coming late." He took her hand and she instantly snatched it back, rubbing it on her jeans. _Harsh! _"And please don't worry about going home, I will be sure that you have an available and already paid for taxi, every night." He flashed her his crooked smile and she deflated a little but still looking a little uncertain. His smile widened as he looked at her from under his long eyelashes. Bella could feel the blush rising to her cheeks and she turned away from him and sat at the table before she started swooning on the spot.

"We need to talk" she stated with force, not leaving room for discussion. Edward sighed heavily and took a seat at the table too waiting for her to start talking.

"Have you looked at your fridge lately, Mr. Cullen?" she asked him boldly. He nodded his head, not understanding where she was going with this. He knew there was food since he went grocery shopping the week before. "Really? Then I suppose you realize that nothing in it is suited for young children?" He just gave her a clueless look, so she got up tugging him with her by the collar of his shirt. _That girl really has a problem._ She stopped in front of the fridge, opened it wide and started rambling. "There are little to no vegetables in there! Children need nutrients and for that they have to eat vegetables! And what are all those microwave meals? Do you think this is a way to raise children! No yogurt, no cake, no milk and almost no fruit! Hell, you don't even have _pasta_! Not only that but do you really think they feel comfortable in this big house with nothing to do in it!" She twirled around and Edward was watching her with a slightly frightened expression. "You listened to me, Cullen. From now on, I am the one taking care of this house because let me tell you, You. Really. Suck. At. It!" She punctuated each word with a poke to his chest. She looked at him, waiting for a response to her rant but he just stared at her.

For the first time in his life Edward was speechless. This crazy girl that he only met yesterday was standing right in front of him, fearlessly telling him how to take care of his own house. He was Edward Cullen for heaven's sake! He was rich, handsome and a brilliant lawyer; he was used to have women grovel at his feet and not to them screaming and chastising him. Suddenly, the situation seemed awfully funny and he started to laugh loudly, but Bella clamped her hand over his mouth.

"The kids are sleeping, you idiot!" she shushed him and he immediately quieted down, taking her hand off his face. He looked toward the still wide opened fridge and grimaced when he realize that she was right, once more. He was so used to picking groceries for himself that he didn't consider a change when the children came. He sighed.

"You are right… I guess I didn't adapt really well." She just snorted in response. "If you say you want to take care of it then I trust you… I guess. I'll just leave you my card so that you can… buy what they need." He told Bella hesitantly, wondering if it really was a good idea. Anyway, it wasn't like he had a choice since he didn't know a thing about groceries and cooking. Bella gave him a smug smile. "So does that mean you're taking the job for real? I don't want to continue playing around with this. I told you I will give you till tonight. It's tonight. Will you sign the contract, yes or no?" he asked raising an eyebrow at her, a stern expression on his face.

Bella looked at him for a moment, considering stalling just to piss him off some more but thought better of it. Not looking away from his face, she nodded firmly.

"Yes, I will. And don't worry about the house; I will take care of it."

Edward went to answer but was cut off by his stomach's loud rumbling. He gasped in embarrassment and looked away from Bella not wanting her to see it on his face. She giggled mockingly and Edward couldn't help but to smile at the sound.

"Looks like Mr. Big Lawyer is hungry. I made you an omelet while I was making the children's dinner, it's in the fridge." On those words, she turned her back to him, reached for a bag of candy and started to eat again. Edward grabbed the plate from the fridge and put it on the microwave to heat it. While it was in there, he observed her for a moment before he couldn't take it anymore and had to ask her.

"Why are you eating candy at this hour?" his tone was light and curious as he watched her shoveling little colorful candies in her mouth. He saw her chew and swallow before she answered not bothering to turn.

"I'm hungry, I didn't have diner yet. And I love sweets, they're the best." She started to reach for the candies again and frowned when she saw that the bag was almost empty.

"Why didn't you eat dinner? You cooked for all of us; you should have made yourself some too. I know I didn't tell you this before but please, don't hesitate to help yourself when you are here. I know that watching the kids is hard work." He said hoping to convince her to at least eat a little so he wouldn't feel guilty.

Bella finally turned around to look at him.

"Really, I can? You sure?" he nodded, reaching for his now hot plate. "Ok, thanks!"

And before he could blink, she had already gotten eggs and other ingredients out and was mixing _something_.

Still keeping her in his sight at the corner of his eyes, he sat at the table, took his first bite and groaned loudly. _The beautiful, crazy, lesbian girl could cook!_ He started to devour what was left on his plate and was so focused that he jumped a little in surprise when Bella took a seat in front of him. On her plate she had piled three mushroom omelets and Edward looked at her, shocked by the amount of food.

"You're going to eat all of that?"

"Yeah, I'm on a diet." She answered, completely serious, frowning at her plate. "This will do." Edward watched her in amazement as she ate. He never saw a girl eating so much with such enjoyment before. He stared and stared until she raised her head from her food to glare at him. "What?"

He cleared his throat and clapped his hands together, wanting to change the subject from his stalker-like observation. He looked around the kitchen quickly before his eyes settled on his little wine fridge and alcohol transparent cupboard. "Want some wine?" Without waiting for an answer, he hastily got up, got two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine from the fridge and brought it to the table. He filled the two glasses and sat back down, all the while thinking about how to strike a somehow friendly conversation with her for the first time since the met.

"Hum… You really know how to cook, it was really good." He said awkwardly. Bella shrugged.

"When you don't have the money to buy all the things you want to eat, you learn to be creative." She smiled a little, but it was bitter. "I remember Mike used to like the things I cooked." She said before realizing her mistake. Her eyes widened and she stilled, fork up in the air.

"Mike?" Edward asked staring at her intently. _I thought she was gay._

Bella wanted to smack herself on the forehead for slipping like this. "Mike… he…" she bit on her lip, trying to come up with something. "Mike… was a dog we used to have!" she said a little more loudly than necessary. "Yeah, a really, really cute dog. The cutest! But … hum… he ran away with a bitch." She muttered the last part and reached for her wine and downed it all before tilting it toward Edward as if asking for more. He gave her an unsure look but she rolled her eyes and grabbed the bottle pouring herself another full glass. Maybe she will have more chance to survive this discussion with alcohol in her system.

Edward shrugged and started to sip on his wine, thinking about what he could ask her next. Before long his glass was empty too and he remembered that he forgot to ask about how the day went with the children.

"I wanted to ask you, I noticed that the house is awfully calm tonight. How did everything go after you came home?" he asked dreading the answer.

Bella, who was starting on her last omelet, scratched her head a little as if trying to find the best words. "Well, I won't lie and say everything went great. I had a few little… mishaps with Esmeralda but I was able to manage it… somewhat. And Sunny was a true little angel and such a cutie." She sighed, wishing that Esme could be as easy as Car.

"Well, that's … great." Edward said not really knowing how to take the news. When Rose told him Bella would be good for them he had his doubts and still had. But after the 'lost children' accident, she seemed to get into it. _But could she really manage to save the situation so fast?_ Edward was dubious. Suddenly, something occurred to him. "Sunny?"

"Yeah, you know, since he is blond and all."

Edward nodded, _it made sense_. Carelessly refilling his glass and hers, which was now half empty, he started on the subject that really made him curious. "I wanted to ask you; Do you sometimes worry about how others see you because you're… homosexual?" he asked, watching her expectantly.

Bella considered a harsh reply to mind his own business but changed her mind and decided to play the game. Maybe it was the alcohol, but she was feeling suddenly adventurous. "Please!" she scoffed, putting her fork down. "What century is this? Of course I don't!" She reached for her glass and started to gulp it down again. _Oooh yeah, liquid bravado._ She was starting to feel a little fuzzy.

Edward not wanting to be left behind, finished his second glass of wine and got up to get a new one, filling both of their glass again. "Your family… I mean, your older sister," Bella scowled at the mention of her sister. "When did she find out?"

Bella was starting to get into dangerous waters. She didn't know what to say to make it believable so she decided to try and turn the tables on her favor. She smirked at him, "why should I just tell you all of this for free? Let's play a game and I'll tell you!" he raised an eyebrow at her in question. "You try and guess and if you can't you have to drink! You have three chances, ok?" She let him absolutely no choice as she got up and start rummaging through the cupboard and came back with a bottle of vodka. She could feel the rush of the alcohol and was relishing in it after the day she had. Edward too was starting to feel the effect of the wine, never being a big drinker himself.

They game started and of course, Edward couldn't guess how Rosalie found out about Bella's imaginary homosexuality and he had to drink again and again. Soon Bella felt bored of her own game and joined him. The rest of the night was blurry but she knew they had a lot of fun, making drunken jokes and chasing after each other to Edward's room where they promptly fell asleep in their drunken daze.

* * *

_**Jay's Corner**_

**So did you like it? I hope so! Please don't forget to review!**

**REVIEW= PREVIEW!**

**I don't have a rec this chapter, it's long enough but I have some info! **

**I HAVE AN OUTTAKE FOR YOUUUU! XD**

**It's coming before Monday and is in Esme's Pov **** this is everything I am saying for now!**

**See you soon, lovelies!**


	8. Outtake 2 : Esme's Diary - The First

**Hey! No corner today and I will be really quick.**

**So here is the first Entry of Esme's Diary! I really wanted to show her change of personality and the way her father's death affected her.**

**I now have a facebook group for my story! So if you want insider's information, teasers and all the other sweetness please join! 'Jaymili Fanfiction Group'! We're waiting for you!**

**A big thank to Casper15, you're the best!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

* * *

**Esme's Diary – Entry 1**

_Friday 16th of March ~ 12:00_

Today is my birthday! I am six and Daddy said tonight we will all go to the restaurant that sells the shellfishes and we like it, because it's near the water. It's the ocean like in the Ariel movie. I am so happy! We were supposed to go to the pool today but Daddy said he had to go and take the pretty photos for his work. I was mad but he said sorry and gave me my present early! It's a pink bicycle with sparkles and it's so pretty! Car cried because he wanted one too but he is too little. I told him I will teach him how to ride one when he gets bigger.

We are spending the day at Maria's house, she's our neighbor. She's great but she's not my bestest friend, my bestest friend is Car because he is funny and he's my little brother and because Daddy said family is first! I was a little happy to come here because Maria's mommy makes the yummiest cookies and she gives us a lot because Daddy doesn't know how to make 'em and we don't have a Mommy.

Daddy said Mommy loved us and didn't have a choice but to leave us, but I know it's not true. I was little but I remember when Uncle Eddie came here when Car was a baby and she just left. They thought I was sleeping but I needed to go potty and heard them in the living room. Daddy said that she never wanted us and it was all a lie, she only wanted his money and she had another friend and he's a boy.

I didn't tell Car because he thinks that we have a mommy and she will come back and play with us. But I know she won't. But it's ok. We have Daddy and Uncle Eddie. He is so cool! We don't see him a lot but sometimes we talk on the computer and he sends us presents.

Daddy and Uncle Eddie are bestest friends like Car and me. It's family! And family stays together! That's why I am a little sad that Daddy can't stay for my birthday today. But soon the night will be here and he will come back. I trust him.

* * *

_Friday 16th of March ~ 18:00_

Maria's Mommy is acting strange. She was ok but then the phone was ringing and after she talked she was being different. She keep looking at us like she is going to cry. _Adults, seriously…_

I looked at the time and it was almost night and Daddy still was not here. He promised he would be here but I don't think he will be here on time.

I was looking out the window to see if I could see Daddy when I saw a police car coming and it stopped in front of Maria's house. _Hmmm… I wonder what is going on?_ I run down the stairs to tell everyone there are police here but when I get in the living room, the doorbell rings and two big scary men in police clothes come in. When I hear our names I immediately run to find Car so we can hide. I saw on TV that the police take people to prison! I don't wanna go and Car is still little and I have to protect him. We hide under the bed in Maria's room and Car starts to cry because it's dark and he is scared. I tell him to shut it before they find us but he just cries louder so I have to put my hand on his mouth. He was crying so much I didn't hear the door open and then I feel a hand on my shoulder.

Oops. They found us.

* * *

_Friday 16th of March ~ 21:00_

_They_ said Daddy is gone.

_They_ said the car burned and he is gone and went to heaven.

Gone just like magic.

But I don't understand.

He promised! He promised he would be here and now he is gone!

Where did he go?

Can we go too? Maybe there is a restaurant with fishies there too and we can have my birthday and play together. So why did he go alone?

I asked the police if maybe we could go with Daddy but _they_ said we can't. _They_ said it's not possible to go with him because he is in heaven and we can't go to heaven like that.

I don't want to hear what _they_ say I want to talk to my Daddy! Car wants to talk to Daddy too so he starts to cry but I didn't. I am a big girl and big girls don't cry.

They wanted to take us in the police car to go somewhere but we didn't want to. Daddy said we have to wait here! We started to run to hide again but they catched us and put us in the car. I wanted to scream at them but I couldn't because Car was still crying. I put my arms around him and told him not to cry, that everything will be okay, just like Daddy does when I cry.

The car stops and they get us out and take us into a scary building. We sit down in squeaky chairs and a police lady comes to us and showed us a picture with Daddy in it. She asked if he was our Daddy and I told her that 'of course he is, silly!'. Before she could leave I ask again why we came here because Daddy said he will get us at the neighbor house for my Birthday and we swear we didn't steal anything.

Even if he was late it's okay; I can wait. Because he is my Daddy.

* * *

_Friday 16th of March ~ 21:30_

Daddy is dead.

They said Daddy is dead.

Like in the movies.

He won't come back ever.

Not for my birthday and not for Car's birthday.

Now it's only the two of us.

I have to protect him.

It's just Car and me. No one else.

So I can't cry, I won't cry.

I am a big girl.

I am a big girl…

_I am a big girl…_

* * *

_Saturday 17th_ _of March ~ 14:00_

Uncle Eddie is coming to get us and take us with him to American States.

I don't want to go. I want to stay in Daddy and our house. I don't know United Americas or whatever. But I know Uncle Eddie has to work like Daddy's work is to take pictures.

I miss my Daddy. I miss him so much and it hurts in my chest.

Carlisle is still crying and it's hard to not cry when he is. But I can't. Daddy is strong and he don't cry because he protects us. I have to do the same for Car. He don't understand that Daddy won't come back and I have to be careful and make him understand that maybe Uncle Eddie won't stay forever, just like Daddy. He always said he couldn't come to see us often because he was 'busy'.

If he is too busy to take us, will we come back to the police?

My chest hurts again. I want to cry. But I can't.

_I just can't_ .

* * *

_Saturday 17th_ _of March ~ 18:00_

I think we changed places. We are not with the police anymore.

Here the room is grey. But there is a bed and a TV.

Uncle Eddie is still not here.

Will he come get us soon?

I am tired.

* * *

_Sunday 18th_ _of March ~ 18:00_

He is still not here.

I don't think he will come.

My chest hurts again.

Car is crying.

I take him in my arms.

I protect him.

* * *

_Monday 19th of March ~ 15:00_

Uncle Eddie came.

He promised everything will be ok.

But he doesn't understand.

Daddy is gone he won't come back, how can it be ok now?

Daddy promised we will always be together but he left. He promised!

It's not ok.

It's not ok because adults are liars!

I want to go home.

Car is crying again.

_And my chest hurts._

_So much._

* * *

**Here it is! What did you think? It was a little hard to write this _**

**Please review! And the reviewers who didn't review chapter 5 but review this will still get the long preview of Chapter 6! The short version is already on the Group page!**

**Don't forget to join guys!**

**Love ya! ;)**


	9. Chapter 6 Part 1 - Our Crazy Lives

**Hi Everyone! So here is the first part of chapter 6! The chapter was getting way too long so I decided to cut it in half. The next part will be up soon.**

**I have people I want to thank today!**

**First, my awesome beta, **_**Casper15**_**, always here for me on a moment notice even while having her own troubles. You're the best!**

**Second, I want to thank the girls from the Facebook Group. Thank you all for joining and giving me your opinions ;)**

**And lastly, thank you to **_**Chandrakanta **_**for the awesome****banners she made for the story!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

_**Too Gay For You**_

_**Chapter 6: Our crazy lives (Part 1)**_

_-7 hours before-_

Bella has never felt so drunk in her life. Even the night after Mike broke up with her was nothing in comparison. The world was spinning in an endless circle and she felt like vomiting all over Edward Cullen's pretty white tiled floor. The events after her boss' arrival were starting to get fuzzy and after they emptied the last bottle of alcohol, all she could do was hope they weren't making too much noise in the house; Edward was chasing her and she ran to a bedroom and locked herself in. He followed her and pounded so hard on the door that he broke the lock…on HIS bedroom door! _Ah, Oops_ …

That was where she was at the moment. Lying on Edward Cullen's bed, in Edward Cullen's room, in Edward Cullen's house, with Edward Cullen. Both too drunk to move. If someone had told her that she would be in this position two days ago she would have laughed in their face.

_Me, shy and crazy tomboy, Isabella Swan, in bed with my Boss that I hate. Yeah, sure._

But Mr. Conceited, after fidgeting with the broken lock for a good five minutes, finally gave up and flopped down on his bed, taking Bella with him. Her wanting to sleep was clearly not what he was wanting because, right now, he was just being an annoying asshole.

"Are you sure? " He asked for the hundredth timing fixing his beautiful green eyes on her.

"Sure of what, you donkey dick!" Bella answered rolling on her stomach on the bed.

"That you're gaaaaaay!" His words were slurred and whiny but Bella understood them clearly.

Bella buried her head under a pillow and groaned. He was too loud, way too loud, she wished she wasn't drunk.

"No. Maybe. Yes. I don't know! Just shut up and let me sleep!"

The room was completely silent and when she got no response she thought his drunken ass had finally fallen asleep. She was wrong. Suddenly, she felt the weight of a heavy body roll on top of her and the pillow over her head was removed. Edward's moist lips connected with her ear and his sexy voice whispered…

"Take your clothes off, let's check."

Oh my god, her boss was propositioning her and the hard thing she felt against her back was certainly not a banana. Or it was a very long, hard banana.

_Lucky, lucky!_

Edward eased his left hand inside her baggy shirt slowly moving his fingers toward her breast. He cupped and squeezed the soft mound causing Bella to moan softly. He groaned loudly in response and yanked off his shirt, wanting to feel her skin on his. Edward laid back down on her, rubbing his hips on her ass roughly, enjoying the friction.

"You're so soft, Isabella." He whispered as the fingers from his right hand slid down her stomach to the top of her jeans; moving under the fabric, slowly…he lightly touched her silk underwear seeking her folds, finding what he wanted; he began moving his fingers over her. "Let me show you how good I can make you feel…" Inching her underwear to the side so he could put his fingers inside of her, his breath was laboring… she was so wet. His clouded mind was pulsating with excitement and the situation in his pants was almost unbearable. Just as he was reaching Bella's Promised Land, a little noise stopped him. It sounded like a snore.… It _was_ a snore.

Edward's head snapped up, his eyes zeroing in on Bella's face. She was asleep; a pillow clutched to her face, as she snored her little heart out. He looked at her peaceful face for a moment before looking back down at his hand still stuffed in her panties. It was as if he just realized what he was about to do to her. He snatched his hand back forcefully and literally scrambled to the other side of the king size bed.

_What the hell are you doing? Feeling up your kids' nanny in her sleep, seriously Edward?_

Suddenly, he felt disgusted with himself. How old was she? Twenty-one maybe twenty-two but no older than that; she was still a child in many ways. And here he was, a twenty-nine year old grown man, acting like a drunk old pervert in heat, rubbing all over her. Not only that, but she was already in a relationship, with a girl nonetheless. _Yeah, he fucked up._

Glancing back at Bella's sleeping form; Edward couldn't help the incredulous laugh that escaped him. She was in bed with a half-naked man, seducing and touching her but she still managed to fall asleep, completely oblivious and unaffected by his closeness. Strangely, realizing this relaxed him completely and left him feeling at ease with her, like some danger had been eliminated. He laid back next to her, letting sleep consume him.

He hadn't believed it, even having witnessed her attraction to the same sex, but now he was absolutely convinced of it. Bella Swan was a lesbian. She was no danger.

_Well, as long as he could keep his crazy attraction to her and his wandering hands in check._

* * *

The rush of memories from the night before made Bella freeze in place. It was still a little blurry but the main events were clear enough for her.

She could still feel the heat of Edward's fingers as they run over her bare skin before the drunken sleep took her.

_And Bella was pissed._

How dare he try and take advantage of her like that? Did he do something to her after she fell asleep?

She felt vulnerable and violated.

She directed her glaring eyes to his face and if his wide eyes and frightened expression was anything to go by, he was reliving yesterday's event too. Bella opened her mouth to give him a piece of her mind but was stopped was someone clearing their throat from the door.

She had completely forgotten about the intruder. _Or girlfriend. Or whatever._

Glancing quickly at Bella's angry face, Edward ran a hand through his crazy bed hair before focusing on the strawberry blond woman.

"Hmm… Good morning Tanya?" His tone was awkward; his words seeming more like a question than an actual greeting.

"Good morning Tanya? I come back to find you in bed with some…" _Tanya _looked intently at Bella for a second before making a slightly disgusted face. "…girl; and all you have to say is 'Good morning Tanya?'? What THE FUCK Edward!" Tanya screeched making Bella visibly cringe. _Wow, she has a really loud voice._

Edward merely rolled his eyes at her and got out of bed reaching for his shirt and sadly, putting it on, hiding all his goods, and ignored Tanya's still fuming form and obvious anger.

Bella's reaction, however, was the complete opposite. Her eyes were almost bulging out of her head, mouth gaping as she tried to form a sentence. "You… You think…Him! And me!" She sputtered, pointing between Edward and herself repeatedly. Tanya's glare gave away all the answer she needed.

And then Bella started laughing. Loudly.

Edward and Tanya looked at her oddly, not seeing what was so funny. Edward actually felt hurt that the idea of sleeping with him was so amusing to her. But Tanya lost patience first.

"Are you finished laughing now?" she snapped at Bella's shaking form. Bella calmed down a little and rolled out of bed, still snickering. She came to stand right in front of Tanya and put her hands on her shoulders.

"Listen, I don't know who you are, but me and lover boy here did not engage in any hanky-panky." She snorted. "Not now, not ever. I wouldn't touch the asshole with a ten foot pole. So don't worry, he's all yours. Sell him at auction, dress him as Barney, I don't give a fuck." She patted Tanya's shoulders and looked at the clock, noticing that it was already 8:30 "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a job to do." And with a last glare in Edward's direction, she left the room in all her hangover glory.

Tanya stared at her retreating form till she rounded the corner, shocked by the girl's behavior.

"Who the hell is that weirdo?" she demanded.

"What are you doing here Tanya?" Edward asked her, ignoring her question.

"What do you mean? I had a premiere in town last night and I thought I would come by and see you." She said, twirling a piece of her hair around her finger and trying hard to look innocent. Edward only glared back and crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive manner.

"Cut the bullshit Tan. Why. Are. You. Here?" He demanded menacingly, enunciating each word.

Before she could answer, a loud noise came from the end of the corridor and a second later, Carlisle, followed closely by a disheveled Bella, came flying through the door, nearly knocking Tanya over, and into his uncle's surprised arms. Edward huffed and puffed dramatically as he caught him and lifted him up, causing Carlisle to giggle sweetly. With a kiss on each cheek and his unique 'Hi, Unca Eddie', Carlisle hopped down from his spot and ran out of the room as fast as he came in. A true little tornado. Bella immediately ran after him, yelling at him to come with her and eat his breakfast.

Edward went to follow but was stopped by Tanya's cold hand on his arm. Her eyes were fixed on the doorway where Carlisle had just departed through.

"Ed- Edward?" her voice was quivering, bordering on hysteria. "Who was that kid? Is… Is he yours? Did you have a kid with that crazy girl while I was away?" Her nails were digging into the skin of his forearm as she spoke, nearly drawing blood. Edward yanked his arm back with force and took a few steps away from her. He couldn't tolerate her touch right now. Just seeing her standing there was making his blood boil.

"What the fuck Tanya? Are you deaf? He's my nephew. Didn't you hear him call me Uncle Eddie just now?" he snapped before shaking his head, resigned. "Why am I even telling you this…? It's not any of your business." Edward walked to the already opened door and pulled it open wider, gesturing with his arm to the hallway so Tanya would get the hint and leave his house. "I think you should go right now, Tanya. I cannot deal with you right now; I don't have the time to play your games anymore." He said shaking his head.

He waited for her to move but she stayed motionless in the middle of his bedroom, her eyes calculating. Then completely dismissing what he just told her, acting as if he had been silent.

"Nephew, Edward? Do you think I am a fool? You have a niece and the child I just saw was _not_ a girl!" Her words were sharp and accusatory, her eyes unforgiving, looking at him as if he was the one who did something wrong.

His answer came immediately.

"Well, if you hadn't left four year ago, without as much as a goodbye or a phone call, maybe you would know that I also have an adorable three year old nephew." His tone was cold and had a menacing edge to it. As he stared into Tanya's surprised blue eyes, he could feel that he was going to snap soon. She had already caused enough damage in the past; both to him and Jacob, nearly causing them to lose their friendship forever.

_So he wanted her gone and he wanted her gone now. Away from him, away from his family and friends. Away from Bella._

Just as he was about to remove Tanya physically, a small gasp near his door caught his attention.

Esmeralda was standing there, still wearing her long flowery nightgown, staring at him with wide tearful eyes. For a moment, he was worried that she was afraid of him, that she could see the anger in his eyes but he suddenly understood when she whispered in an awe filled voice:

"You're here"

It was then he realized, for the first time since they came to live with him, Esme woke up on a weekend at almost 9 a.m. and found him in the house instead of the usual nannies. Out of the odd mornings where the last nanny had been fired, he was out of the house by six every day of the week; only seeing the children on the evenings when he was home early or whenever he was called home to deal with their last pranks.

However, today, on a Saturday morning, he was here. Him too, still in his pajamas. He didn't look like he was going to work today. Esmeralda observed his clothes for a second before asking in the same quiet voice as before:

"Are you staying?"

He was actually thinking of going to work later on but her pleading big green eyes were fixated on his own and no matter how hard she was trying to keep her guard up, he could see the flicker of hope on her face. And he couldn't say no. So he nodded. And, dear god, nothing would have made him regret his decision.

Who would have thought that such a little gesture could bring so much happiness to someone's face? Esmeralda's face literally brightened and the biggest, most beautiful smile bloomed on her little face. She squealed loudly, before launching herself into Edward's arms, her happiness radiating from her small form. Edward couldn't help but to laugh gleefully at her behavior. For a few moments he could see the bright and always happy little girl he always saw whenever he went to visit his brother.

Esme took his face in her hands and brought hers really close, looking at his in all seriousness now. "Are you staying with us for the whole week-end?"

He nodded.

"The whole two days? You won't go anywhere?"

He nodded again.

In a gesture so innocent it almost broke his heart, she reached her hand up to stoke over one of his eyebrows with one finger. When she spoke again her voice was the softest murmur.

"You promise?"

Still watching her intently, he prayed again and again in his head, that he wouldn't mess everything up. It was time for him to make some effort and he was ready.

So he nodded.

* * *

Edward strolled into the kitchen with Esme perched on his shoulders, feeling like a new man. He would never have thought that to witness a child's smile would make him so happy but thinking that Esme was that excited about spending time with him was reassuring in a way. It meant that she didn't hate him, at least.

Upon entering the kitchen, he was surprised to see it empty, hearing noises, he followed them and found Bella and Carlisle seated around the living room coffee table, with breakfast displayed on it.

"Why are we eating here?" he asked, confused. Bella answered him, not looking up.

"The dinner table is way too big for Car," she said, ruffling his blond hair as he literally devoured his bowl of cereal dipped in orange juice since there was no milk, completely oblivious to the world. She looked up when she heard him move closer to them and the first thing she saw was the smiles on both his and Esme's face. Wide, happy grins marring their happy face, Bella could see the similarities between them as clear as day. Green eyes and auburn hair, high cheekbones and pouty lips, Edward could easily have been her father.

"Why so happy this morning?" Bella couldn't help but ask as Edward lowered Esme to the floor. Esme turned to her and squealed loudly causing Bella to flinch in response.

_Who is she and what has she done with the angry, broody little girl from yesterday?_

Bella watched in awe as Esme explained excitedly about how her Uncle Edward promised to stay the entire week-end with her and her little brother, her arms fluttering around and her voice a pitch higher than usual. Maybe it was because Esme had let her guard down, but Bella could hear the slight Hispanic accent in her words. It was cute the way she slightly rolled the 'r'. When she finished, Bella looked at Edward in confirmation and he nodded at her over Esme's head while shoveling cereal in his mouth just like Carlisle. She laughed a little when she saw that he filled his bowl of cereal with orange juice too.

The happy image was broken when Tanya huffed loudly and sat gingerly in one of the cushions posed around the coffee table like sitting on the floor would burn her legs. Edward looked at her with an unbelievable expression which soon turned to anger. He almost slammed his bowl on the table and it took everything in him to stay calm.

"What are you still doing here? I told you to leave! Do I have to call the police for you to understand my words?" He hissed at her in a low voice, not wanting the children to hear.

She started to answer but Carlisle running around the table and landing in Edward's lap stopped her from doing so.

"Awe we gonna pway twains? And spy? And socca' too?" Before Edward had the time to answer, Carlisle was already on another topic. "I can wead ya bookz too. I wead Bewa yestaday and she like it! Wight Bewa?" He turned to his nanny, looking at her expectantly. Bella smiled back tenderly at him, secretly praying that he never learned how to correctly pronounce his 'r's"

"Of course, Sunny. You are the best book reader in the whole wide world." Bella said, stroking his chubby cheek. Edward couldn't hide his smile at the gesture and seeing that, Tanya snorted loudly.

"Who dat'?" Carlisle asked pointing at Tanya.

"Yeah, who are you? I think I already saw you somewhere…" Esme added, making Bella's feeling from earlier come back. She looked familiar but at the same time, not.

"Maybe you saw me on TV before" Tanya said, smirking smugly. "I am Tanya Denali, I am an actress; I just came back from Hollywood actually." Edward merely rolled his eyes at her.

Bella's eyes widened comically and she nodded to herself, now remembering seeing her in some horrible chick flick Alice forced her to watch. "I remember now! I was sure I you somewhere! It was in that awful movie with that girl in love with that guy who could turn into a wolf! What was the title again…?"

"I think it was something like '_Who let the dogs out'_ " Esme piped in. "And you're right, it was bad." She wrinkled her nose in distaste and looked at Tanya closely. "You look better on TV." Bella nodded and hummed in agreement.

Tanya looked like she was going to explode any minute. The childish and innocent statement had whipped her ego back in place and she was fuming, even more so when she heard Edward's muffled laughter against Car's head. She glared at Bella, her face contorted in anger.

"What do _you_ know about cinema? And since we are on the topic of identification, _who are you_?" Tanya sneered at Bella.

"I am the nanny." Bella answered simply, completely unfazed. Feeling that the conversation was about to take a bad turn, Edward ushered the children out of the room taking them to get ready for the day.

"Oh, really? I am having a hard time believing that! Tell me what kind of nanny spends the night in her boss' bed? I think you just want to get in his pants." Tanya said snidely.

Bella sputtered for a second, taken aback by the accusation before screaming back. "Who do you think you are questioning me like that?"

"I am Edward's fiancée."

The words hung in the air for a moment as Bella looked at her in shock.

_Edward was engaged? To a movie star? And he still tried to seduce her last night?_

Bella felt like throwing up. _What the hell?_

"Ex-fiancée." A voice said. Bella and Tanya both turned to the entrance of the living room where Edward was standing, having clearly heard the entire conversation.

"What?"

"I said Ex-Fiancée." He repeated slowly, looking at Bella intently. For some reason, he wanted her to know that he didn't have any link to Tanya anymore. Seeing that Tanya was about to protest, he quickly went on. "Seriously I don't even understand what you are doing here, Tanya. Do I have to remind you that you were the one who left? I woke up one morning to find your ring on the fucking table! No notes and no goodbye. You just left! And now, after four years, you barge into my house like nothing happened, demanding answers?" He looked at Tanya dead in her eyes, daring her to open her mouth to speak bullshit again. She just stood there gaping like a fish. "I am not stupid Tanya. What do you want? Why are you back now? No. Wait. I don't even want to know. What I want is for you to leave my house right fucking now!" His stance screamed dangerous and Bella shivered a little in fear. She had never felt so out of place before.

But it seemed that Tanya was in a worse state. She couldn't even form a normal sentence. "Bu- But… I just… Edward, I… I just wanted us to, to… to talk. I'm sure we could… work things out! If only you would let me!" She cried.

"There is nothing to work out."

"You can't decide that alone!"

"Yes, I can and I am." Edward dead-panned, glaring at her.

"So what, are you screwing HER now?" Tanya screamed, pointing at Bella. Bella panicked; she didn't want to be part of this conversation! So she blurted out the first thing she thought about.

"I'm a lesbian!"

_And from there it was the worst case of word vomit in history._

"I'm gay. I love women. Actually, I have a girlfriend, her name is Alice! I swear! We've been together for some time now. So I wouldn't sleep with Cullen here. Not that he is ugly, because he is not, but only women's bodies turn me on! I get like really, really horny… sometimes, so horny I could hump a pillow! Not for you though, you're not my type, I prefer darker hair, you know? More like that girl, Kristen Stewart. Oh yeah, she is smokin'; I could lick her and show her some of my tongue action! Oh, the things I would do to her little body, Mmmm…"

At the end of her speech both Edward and Tanya were staring at her in shock and Bella had never been so mortified before. Her face was certainly as red as it could get. So she did the only thing she could do, she ran from the room and hid in the kitchen.

Edward had to resist the urge to go after her and see if she was alright, but he had to take care of Tanya first.

"Get out."

"Edward, I…"

"GET OUT!" He roared so loudly the glass walls shook.

Tanya seemed to finally realize he was serious; she hastily took her bag and finally left the house, slamming the door behind her.

Edward took a deep breath and sighed. He never thought she would come back one day or even less come to his home. He could still remember too clearly what happened between Jacob, Tanya and himself, how much hurt it caused and how after that his friendship with Jacob became so strained. He knew that part of everything was also his fault but he could not believe the audacity she had!

He looked at the front door and knew right then that he needed to change the code. He thought for a moment about what to use and the answer was strangely obvious to him.

_2-5-12-12-1_

_B-E-L-L-A_

Each number matching the letters in her name. Using that, he was sure that no one would guess it.

That reminded him of Bella who was still hiding in the kitchen. He collected all the items still on the coffee table and made his way in the kitchen where he found Bella hunched over the sink, scrapping away at an already completely clean pan. He stood beside her, putting everything on the counter, and leaned down to look at her face. Seeing that it was still red from embarrassment, he tried to make eye contact with no success.

"Hey" he said softly, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Immediately she pulled away, glaring at him for touching her. "What? What did I do?" He asked, holding his hands up.

"Don't touch me! I know what you tried to do yesterday, you molester!" she hissed at him.

Edward sighed, knowing that what he had done would be mentioned sooner or later. "Listen Bella, I know what I did wasn't right," she snorted. "But I wasn't in my right mind and I promise I didn't do anything after you went to sleep." She eyed him suspiciously, not knowing if she could trust him. "You are already in a relationship, and you are not interested; I was aware of that but I still did what I did and for that I am sorry. Please, forgive me." He looked so sincere that Bella couldn't do anything else but nod. "Friends?" he asked holding out a hand. Bella shook it with her soapy one.

"If you pull something like that again, I'll kill you slowly with a needle." She added menacingly, wanting to have the last word.

Bella turned back to the sink, trying to ignore Edward's prying eyes and smirk. She thought she was doing a good job until he spoke again.

"So… Kristen Stewart, huh?" he said snickering. She groaned loudly, feeling her face heating up again.

"Just drop it, Cullen! I can't believe I said that… this is so embarrassing."

Edward just put his arm around her shoulders in a comforting gesture.

"It's ok, Bella. I think she's hot too." They were silent for a beat and Edward thought his joke fell flat until he felt Bella giggling from under his arm. The little giggles soon turned into full laughter and he joined her, laughing loudly and reliving in the feeling. He felt like it had been such a long time since he had really laughed and it felt good, it made him feel free.

"What's so funny?"

They were so into their own fun that they didn't even heard Esme and Carlisle coming down the stairs, both showered and ready for the day. They were watching the two adults with amused expressions, wanting to join in the fun too.

"It's nothing, Es. Just a grown-up joke, they are boring." Edward said, winking at a still giggling Bella. "Take your brother and go watch some TV for now. I have to take a shower and then we can do anything you want, how is that?"

It seemed to be enough of an explication since Esme nodded happily and ran off to the living room with her brother.

Edward turned back to Bella who was drying her hands looking at her with a serious expression.

"Bella? I think you should go home now." She looked unwilling to so he explained himself. "I know you certainly don't want to see your sister but I am sure she regrets her actions. She was feeling really bad after you left yesterday." She just grumbled in response, shuffling on her feet. "I already promised the kids I would stay with them today, so go talk to your sister, spend some time with Alice and come back later, ok? We will go grocery shopping or whatever."

Bella sighed but nodded anyway. She knew she had to talk to Rose no matter how much she didn't want to. And she was already dreading the talk with Alice about everything that had happened during the last few days. She started to get her things and turn to leave only to stop after a few steps.

"Hey Cullen? Don't let them down, 'K? They deserve happiness and it starts with having their Uncle with them. It's the least you could do for them."

Edward nodded at her, trying to convey that he understood.

She turned to leave again but Edward couldn't resist teasing her one last time.

"Hey Bella!" she turned and cocked her head to the side, curious. "I'm looking forward to meeting Alice soon and see some of that tongue action." He winked for good effect and turned away from her, knowing how red she was going to be.

And in fact, she turned crimson in 3 seconds flat and yelled a '_Shut up'_ before racing out of the house.

Edward was still laughing even after she left. _And how great it felt to laugh again_.

Maybe everything will start getting better; he just had to be careful and not screw up. After all what could happen in two days?

* * *

**So what did you think? Do you think Edward will screw up? I personally love Bella's word vomit ;) **

**Leave me some reviews! As always you'll get the long preview! If you want the short one, I will put it on the group page! ( Jaymili Fanfiction group ; I found some awesome pics for the fic too)**

**Next time, we see Rose and Alice, and of course Edward's adventures with the kids ;)**

**I have some Recs this time! They are two ladies from the group and their WIP are looking good!**

**Murder and Secrets by GreenJazzyTwilight1901 **

_Bella Swan leads a simple life. One day everything changes and she finds out what her father has planned for her to do when he passes away. What she doesn't know is that he arranged for her to become a servant to the filthy rich, Edward Cullen. Can Bella deal with Charlie's death and her new life? Maybe even find love and comfort in the most unlikely situation? AH, OOC. First Fic._

**Boys Will Be by Postapocalypticdepository **

_Bella and Edward are college roommates who have known each other forever. They are more like brother and sister rather than friends and lovers. Edward has some bad habits, but Bella is a good cook. Will temptation change their ways allowing them to embrace what's been between them all along? Future lemons with a lot of laughs getting there._


	10. Chapter 6 Part 2 - Our Crazy Lives

**Hi guys! A little early but here is the second part of the chapter! It's a bit of a funny filler but we needed it to move on.**

**IMPORTANT PLEASE READ:**

**-I received a few reviews saying that 'Too Gay For You' plot looked too much like the plot of an Asian TV series. I want to clarify something: On the AN of the first chapter I clearly stated that TGFY was adapted from an Asian TV Series, that I only took the plot and the rest is all me. I work hard on this story and enjoy it; it's a little infuriating that I get criticized because some people didn't read things before starting the story. I didn't lie and told the truth to all of you, if you can't accept it then I guess you just don't have to read. Thank you.**

**-I have exams coming and won't be able to write much in the next month or so BUT I already prepared a few updates for you including an Esme's Diary update and 6 chapters of my new story, which will be up soon. Maybe a chapter of TGFY but I am not promising anything…**

**A big Thank you to my Beta **_**Casper15**_**, I love you!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

_**Too Gay For You**_

_**Chapter 6: Our crazy lives (Part 2)**_

Bella slowly pushed the front door of their little house open praying that Rosalie was either at work or anywhere else but here. She tiptoed into the house toward the living room. There was Rosalie looking at her with an anxious expression on her face.

Edward was right: _she does look like hell._

Bella was shocked; Rosalie Swan does not look like hell, _EVER!_

Her sister did not look like the woman she had grown up with. Her hair looked like she had been tugging on it for hours, black mascara tear tracks ran down her cheeks; her white blouse was wrinkled and her black thigh highs were loose and torn in several spots. She looked like she had been pacing, her phone clutched in her hand.

Rosalie was looking at Bella as if she wasn't sure if she was hallucinating or not. She had every intention of turning away and ignoring her but Rosalie charged at her, hands reaching out toward Bella who instinctively put her arms up to protect her face, thinking Rosalie was going to slap her again.

She was surprised when Rosalie threw her arms around her hugging her tightly and gently rocking them from side to side. Bella considered pushing her away, to make her understand that she was still hurt and angry and wouldn't forgive her that easily…but she heard Rosalie whisper a broken "I'm so sorry" then her whispers turned to loud sobs.

At this point, Bella wasn't sure how to react. Rosalie _never_ apologizes to _anyone_ and she never _cries_ . So what brought this on? Was she regretful and crying for the first time in years was her way of showing it? Bella didn't have time to ponder about that because Rosalie pulled back and grabbed her face between her hands, turning it from side to side.

"Are you hurt? Are you ok?" Rosalie asked in a frantic voice. She gave Bella the once over and gave a sigh of relief when she saw that she was unharmed and perfectly fine. But still she kept on fussing over her to the point that Bella actually had to push her away with a loud and irritated 'Stop that!'. Rosalie immediately backed away her eyes wide, looking like a scared kitten.

Bella had never seen Rosalie Swan look like a _scared kitten_. Was it a full moon or something? Did she get kidnapped by aliens and replaced?

"What the hell Rose? I'm fine!" Bella snapped.

"I'm sorry…" she had the nerve to look sheepish. "It's just that you didn't come home last night, you didn't even call and Mr. Cullen wasn't answering his phone. I was so worried! Where in the world were you?"

Bella couldn't help her harsh reply. "Oh really? You were worried? Because it didn't look like you gave two fucks about me when you slapped me yesterday! And because of fucking money Rosalie!" she yelled.

Rosalie looked down at her feet and fiddled a little with her hands. When she spoke her voice was low and apologetic. "I know I was wrong, B. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that and I hope you will forgive me."

Bella was gaping like a fish. Now she was convinced this person was an alien. The true Rosalie Swan would have smacked her on the head with a pan for talking back to her like that.

"Who are you and what had you done with my sister? You didn't even threaten to send me to Russia or pinch my cheek for screaming at you… You're truly apologizing…" Bella said suspiciously, cocking her head to the side.

At that Rosalie looked up and huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and glared a little.

"I'm not _completely_ bad, Bella. You are my only family, my little sister and I should have shown you more respect and understanding. So of course, I have to apologize to you. Why can't you just accept it and fucking move on?!" _Aaah… There she is! _"Now are you going to answer my question or not? Where were you last night? I was worried to death, you know?"

Before she could answer, a loud bang resounded in the house and the front door detached itself from the hooks and fell to the floor. Bella and Rosalie screamed in terror and immediately ran from the living room entrance and hid behind their only couch. They huddled together as they heard a voice and footsteps getting closer. Bella was shaking like a leaf so Rose wrapped her arms around her little sister, trying to hide her from view even more.

"What is going on Rosie?" Bella whispered, completely terrified.

Rosalie didn't even need to answer because the moment she finished her sentence, a familiar voice was heard in the room.

"Where the fuck are you two!'

Instantly recognizing the voice, Rosalie sighed in annoyance as Bella looked at her in shock.

"Rose, what the hell is _James_ doing here?" Bella asked her sister, still in whispers.

"I was so focused on trying to find you yesterday after work that I completely forgot to bring him the money." Rosalie furiously whispered back. Bella buried her face in her hands and groaned in understanding, shaking her head from side to side.

"He's going to give us hell now…"

"Don't you think I know that already?" Rose hissed back. The sound of something smashing on the floor made them jump.

"_Oh_ Swan sissies! Come out; come out…wherever you are! We have business to take care of and I don't have all MOTHER FUCKING DAY!" James hollered.

Rosalie cleared her throat, passed a hand through her hair and straightened her skirt before grabbing Bella's hand and pulling her out of their hiding place.

Their eyes took in the broken vase on the floor before settling on the tall and lanky man form standing in the middle of their tiny living room. _James Dickhead_ . Well, _Dickhead_ wasn't really his last name but that's what they called him, it suited him perfectly. He was one of Aro's favorite minions and was in charge of what they called the 'Swan Case'.

* * *

_Aro Volturi was the head of the most notorious underground gang in Tampa and its surrounding areas. He was old, ugly, creepy and rich. The perfect mob boss. And they owed him money, and a lot of it._

_Before leaving the city with Jasper, Charlie Swan made a last attempt to save his company. He gave the titles to the family cars and house as a guarantee to Aro in exchange of a huge sum of money. Charlie had to pay back the borrowed money to get all his belongings back._

_But Charlie never paid it back and left with the money. Instead of going after him, Aro decided to keep an eye on the two sisters until Rosalie was old enough to work and appeared on their doorstep one morning to reclaim the money their father had borrowed. At first, their initial reaction was to refuse to have anything to do with any of this business but they soon realized that going against a man as dangerous as Aro Volturi was not wise. They were living in Alice's grandmother's house since their father had left; She offered to help them but Bella and Rosalie refused, stating that it was their responsibility._

_From that time they had to give a designed sum of money each month on the same day to avoid trouble. They never missed a payment._

_Until today._

* * *

"No need to shout James, we're here; you didn't have to break the vase. Or the door for that matter." Rosalie said as calmly as possible, knowing it was the only way to make him leave faster.

James smirked smugly. "I am in a hurry." He shrugged unrepentant. "And I kept calling and you wouldn't answer, the vase was here _so…_ what did you want me to do?" He crossed the room in long strides and flopped down ungracefully on the couch.

"No need to sit down." Rosalie rolled her eyes and retrieved a big white envelope from her handbag, throwing it in James' lap and returned to her place next to an unmoving Bella. "There's your money, you can leave now."

He didn't move. "Is this how to take care of your guests Rosalie? You didn't even offer me a beer or a little cup of tea." He sighed dramatically. "No wonder you don't have friends." He looked around the room before his deadly blue eyes landed on Bella's shaking form. "What do you think pretty little Isabella?"

Rosalie stepped in front of her, effectively blocking James view of Bella and almost growled at James. "I don't want friends; I want you to leave us alone. I already gave you the freaking money so you don't have anything else to do here!"

James gave her a hard look and finally got up from the couch taking the money with him. He stopped just before the door and turned around, glaring at Rosalie.

"I'm letting it go this time because it's the first time you're late. But remember that next time this happens, the door won't be the only thing I break."

Without another word, he left.

* * *

"What?!"

Bella, Rosalie and Alice were sitting on Bella's bed, going over the events of the past few days. Alice wasn't taking the "You're my girlfriend" news very well and Rosalie couldn't believe Bella got herself drunk enough to end up in bed with their boss.

Alice immediately got up from the bed and started pacing.

"So if I understand correctly, you're telling me that _your boss_ thinks that you are a lesbian and in a serious gay relationship _with me_ ?"

Bella just nodded sheepishly.

"Bella!" Alice whined loudly jumping on the bed. "How could you do this to me! And I just met this really cute guy and I like really, really like him!"

Bella took a pillow and smashed it in Alice's face. "Hey! It's your fault in the first place so you don't have the right to whine!"

"What do you mean my fault?" Alice cried, offended.

"You were the one who kissed me in the restaurant that night! And he was there! I guess he just assumed we were together and I only agreed." Bella said with a shrug. Alice sat up immediately, looking at Bella with wide eyes.

"Are you serious?" Bella nodded. "He was there when I kissed you?" Another nod. "Oh, Bella I am so sorry! I wasn't thinking clearly that night!" Alice said with tears in her voice, almost lunging across the bed to hug Bella in her usual exuberant way as Bella patted her back gently.

Their friendly hug was broken by Rosalie's loud voice.

"We don't give a fuck about that! Can't you see the real problem here?" When they both gave her clueless looks, Rosalie groaned, irritated. "The problem is that _you_ ," she pointed a finger at her sister "slept with your boss when you are supposed to be a lesbian!"

"I didn't sleep with him!" Bella protested indignantly. "We only shared a bed."

"Same difference. What are we going to do if he starts having doubts? We need a plan." At this point, Rosalie was pacing furiously around the room, rubbing her forehead as if it would help her come up with ideas. Alice observed her for a minute before getting up from the bed, doing the same thing. Bella only looked at them blankly wondering why her family was so crazy.

"Guys…" She said slowly. "I really don't think we need a plan of any sort. I am pretty sure he is convinced I am a lesbian already."

"Of course we need a plan!" They said. Both of their heads snapped in Bella's direction at the same time _and it was seriously freaky_ .

"Listen, B" Rosalie started. "Mr. Cullen is not only a lawyer but he is extremely intelligent. If he discovers we've deceived him in any way… we are so screwed. You can't even begin to imagine. So right now, we need to be better actresses than Angelina Fucking Jolie."

Then Alice eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. She bounced back in the middle of the bed.

"I know! I know what we should do! I have this guy I use to go out with, he owns a drama school. I'm sure if we ask him he would be willing to teach us some things." Alice squealed.

The two sisters looked at her warily. Alice's ideas were never good news when she was acting that way.

"Teach us what exactly, Alice?"

Her eyes twinkled dangerously again.

"You'll see".

…

On their way to meet Alice's friend, Bella was full of question but void of answers from Alice. It was only when they stopped in front of an odd looking theater that Alice finally decided to open her mouth.

"Well, you know I thought about it and I realized that most of the time when there is a lesbian couple, in real life or on TV, there is one acting more girly and one more like… a tomboy." Alice explained. Rosalie seemed to immediately understand where Alice was going with that and grinned widely but Bella just stood there nodding for her to continue. "Well, obviously, I can't be the tomboy so you, Bella Swan, are going to learn how to act like a boy. It's not like you don't have the base anyway." She said gesturing to Bella's clothes and wig.

"You're crazy. No. No. No way." Bella said turning away to leave. Rosalie grabbed the back of her shirt and tugged her back.

"You don't have a choice Bella. It's that or you will have to make-out with Alice in front of Mr. Cullen." Rosalie said.

Bella looked at her and seeing the serious look on her face immediately change her decision.

"I'll do it."

Benjamin Cheney was a strange man. _Like really strange._

His hair was colored in blue and red and the middle of his head was shaved 'to let inspiration come in easier' he said. When the girls came in the theater, he was sitting in the middle of the stage, eyes closed; only wearing a long beige sheet wrapped around his body.

Bella and Rosalie were taken aback by his appearance but Alice seemed to find it completely normal.

Without opening his eyes, he told them in a surprising calm voice to come and sit on the stage with him. It was only when they were where he wanted them to be that he opened his eyes and instantly fixed his gaze on Bella.

"I guess you are the one I am working with today?"

Bella only nodded, a little worried.

"GET UP!" He screamed suddenly making Bella jump and scramble to her feet.

Ben circled her slowly; the beige sheet reaching his knees was making a whooshing noise. After a few minutes, he came to stand in front of her and grabbed her shoulders, squeezing hard.

"You can't be a boy but I can make it so to anyone else you will look like one. You just have to follow me, little one." Bella nodded again. "First, we have to connect!" He told Bella while looking at her right in the eyes. This lesson was becoming more and more strange.

In a grand movement, he raised his hands high in the air making the sheet ride up, and Bella made a disgusted face. Let's just say that the question whether he was wearing underwear or not under it was answered.

Slowly, Eric started to undulate his body like a snake, his arms still in the air and making little hissing noises. _He looked possessed_ . Bella threw a helpless look at her sister and best friend and saw Alice mouthing 'Do it, do it' to her.

So she did.

Bella started to move her body too, trying to imitate Eric and after a while she thought it was quite funny and got really into it. They rolled on the floor behaving like animals until Ben decided that they were connected enough for now.

Bella returned to her place next to Rosalie in a daze, wondering how that was going to help her.

"Now that we are warmed up, let's start the lesson!" Ben exclaimed.

_Ah, it was only the warm up… Great._

Alice leaned over and whispered in her ear "Now you know why I broke up with him…"

Bella ignored her, reached for her bag and took out a note pad and a pen, ready to take some notes but Eric snatched it from her hands and threw it across the stage.

"DON'T TAKE NOTES!" he screamed in her face. "Use your body to remember…"

_It was going to be a long day._

* * *

Edward was sitting at the dinner table facing his niece and nephew in complete silence. He didn't know how long they had been sitting like that but it was starting to seem like a long time.

When he decided to stay for the week-end he forgot to take in consideration that he had absolutely no idea what children do for fun. He tried to talk to them about his work but they didn't seem to care that much about law, he even tried to play scrabble with them but obviously it didn't work out well with a six and a three year old. They have been stuck like this, in awkward silence ever since.

The worst part of all was the expectant look in Esmeralda and Carlisle's eyes fade as the minutes passed by.

Finally, Edward cleared his throat and broke the silence.

"So… what do you usually do to have fun?"

"We pway." Car answered sweetly. And Edward couldn't help but laugh a little at his simple statement.

"What do you play?" He asked looking at Esmeralda. She stared right back and shrugged.

"Depends. Sometime, we just watch TV but other time we play with the toys in our room." She said and Edward frowned, wondering why he hadn't bought them more things to pass the time.

"Yestaday, we pwayed wata' guns with Bewa! It was sooo funny!" Carlisle cried clapping his little hands.

"Water guns? You have water guns?" Edward said surprised.

They both nodded but he didn't remember ever buying them water guns…

"We brought them with us when we came from home." Esme simply answered seeing his confused look.

Edward felt a little pang of hurt when she called their old house 'home' but he was conscious that he didn't do enough for them to feel like 'home' here.

Suddenly, Carlisle got up from his seat and darted up the stairs only to come back down a few seconds later with both water guns. They were almost too big for his little body but he managed. He threw one on Edward's lap and gave the other one to his sister. They took the time to fill the guns and some of the recharges and from there all hell broke loose.

They started spraying each other in earnest, using the furniture to protect themselves and when the guns were empty they resorted to full water bottles. Edward was drenched but he couldn't remember the last time he had so much fun and the children's laughter was only adding to it.

Their game was interrupted by the doorbell. Edward got up from his hidden position behind the couch, put down his water gun and went to open the door.

And standing on the other side was… _Isabella Swan_ .

But something in her behavior wasn't right and Edward knew it at soon as he saw her.

She was wearing a pair of denim overalls, baggier than her usual overly large clothes. Underneath, she was wearing a black T-shirt with 'I DON'T GIVE A SHIT' written in big, white, bold letters. The short wig was back on her head and she wore a backward baseball cap. Her hands were stuffed deep in the pockets of the overalls and moving up and down; as if she was scratching her junk, while chewing loudly on her gum.

When she looked up at Edward, she belched loudly in his face and made her way inside of the house with a tap on his shoulder and a "Whass'up Man?"

She started toward the living room but stopped when she realized that he wasn't following. She didn't need to turn around to know what kind of face he was making at the moment. _Probably, a very surprised one…_ She slowly turned around and didn't look at his face because she took in what she hadn't seen when he opened the door.

Edward was completely wet _. All over_ . His shirt was sticking to his delicious muscular chest, his sexy pecs standing out even more that when he was shirtless. His hair was drenched, water still running down his face and Bella followed with her eyes a drop of water as it fell on his forehead, ran down the length of his nose and ended on his lips just when he swiped his tongue slowly over them.

Bella could feel her heart hammering in her chest and the insane desire to lick him came back full force and she could feel herself tremble as she lost herself in Edward Cullen's Sexy Land.

And suddenly, he was right in front of her holding her chin up so he could look her in the eyes. Green on Brown. She could smell him and it made her slightly dizzy. _Hmm… honey, mint and a little of chocolate…tasty!_

"Are you ok Bella?" he asked in a low voice.

"Huh?" she answered stupidly.

"I kept calling your name but you weren't answering… and to be honest, you look a bit strange." He said frowning.

His statement pulled Bella out of her dreamy state as she remembered ' _the plan'._

_Be tough, Bella! Remember you are supposed to be a boy! Don't let yourself submit to Cullen's sexiness. Cullen is not sexy, Cullen is not sexy, Cullen is not sexy…_

Her mantra in place, Bella pushed him as far away as possible with her short arms and cleared her throat, trying to make her voice sound lower than usual.

"Wo, man! What cha' think you're doing? Don't touch my body or I'll fuck you up, you got me?" Bella said with a glare, falling back into character just like Ben taught her. Edward apologized still looking at her strangely.

_Yeah, something wasn't sitting right for sure._

She turned away from him still feeling his eyes on her, resumed her loud gum chewing, and entered the living room, her walk more sluggish than usual, shoulders slumped and hands stuffed deep in her pockets. Seeing the children and room completely soaked and the water guns thrown in a corner of the room, she didn't need to think hard to understand what happened and smiled internally, happy that Edward made some effort to play with them.

"Hey, little fellas! Seems like you had some cray-cray fun here without meh!" she exclaimed, after popping a bubble.

"Bewa!" Carlisle cried and run to her at top speed, crashing in her legs. "Bewa, you haiw go again?" he asked, gesturing to her head.

She snorted in response. "Whatya talkin' bout, Sunny? Hair is woman shit! I am badass, I don't do hair!" she said, nervously glancing back at Edward who was watching her from the doorway with a frown marring his pretty face.

"You said a bad word." Esme stated from the other side of the room, her accent rolling with her words.

"Sorry, !" Bella answered, giving her a cheeky grin. "Had a cray-cray day, driving me nuts and chips…" she flopped down on the couch but jumped up immediately when she felt the water on it wetting her butt. "What the fu… frungitus!" she yelled, remembering about the swearing at the last moment.

"What is a frungitus?" Esme asked curiously.

"Yes, what's a frungitus, Isabella?" Edwards added, raising an eyebrow. He was now watching her with a mildly amused expression. What she was trying to prove was becoming more and more obvious to him.

"A frungitus… well I don't know yet, but when I do I promise to tell you, details and all." Bella said seriously, nodding. She looked at the clock and quickly added: "If ya wanna go shopping, you better go get your little butts dried and changed before it's too late" she drawled watching them leave the room to get ready as she started to pick things up around the room, cleaning a bit.

"I know what you are doing." A voice said just from behind her making Bella jump and turn around ending face to face with her boss. She thought that he left to get changed too but clearly not.

He was standing way too close again, staring at her with big playful green eyes. She could see how long his eyelashes were and she almost reached out and touched them but she managed to control herself.

"Wh- what? What am I doing?" she stammered, afraid that she was already busted.

"Don't play coy with me Bella." Edward said giving her a slightly disapproving look.

_Does she really think I am stupid?_ He thought.

She was saved by Esme and Carlisle loudly running down the stairs. They weren't completely dry but their clothes were changed, so it would do.

"Bewa, we go shapping now?" Carlisle asked her sweetly.

She immediately ran to his side, side stepping Edward's big form. Her moment of panic had made her forget 'Boy Bella' for a second but she couldn't get distracted, maybe it was a trick. He was a lawyer after all.

"Well bud, we'll go when your cray-cray uncle over there gets ready." She said in her low voice, scratching at her fake junk again. Edward decided to go get changed with a last narrow look in her direction.

The shopping trip to the grocery store went as smoothly as expected with Bella acting the exact same way if not worse, scaring more than one passerby in the process. They still managed to buy the things the children needed and Edward even took some notes so he would be able to do it alone.

He didn't say anything more to Bella about her sudden change of behavior until they were alone in the kitchen putting away groceries.

"I think it's ok for you to go home for today, Isabella. You won't have to come tomorrow too; I think I will be able to manage on my own." Edward said smiling gently at her. She smiled hesitantly back.

"Are you sure…?"

"I am, don't worry we will be fine and see you on Monday. We are going to have some 'Cray-cray' fun as you call it." Edward said chuckling.

Bella turned to go, remembering at the last moment to walk like 'Boy Bella' should.

"And Bella? No need for all of that next time." He warned, gesturing at her attire. "I already know and am convinced that you are a lesbian, you have nothing to prove to me." He finished, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

She gaped at him. _He knew from the start, the bastard!_

"Why didn't you say anything before!" she cried, turning red.

"It was funny." He said simply, shrugging.

"I can't believe you" she grumbled, stomping her way out of the house.

* * *

It was the next morning at the crack of dawn that Bella was roused from her sleep by her phone persistently ringing. She glanced at the clock and saw that is was only 6:30 am.

_Who the fuck was calling her at this hour on a Sunday morning?_

She reached for her phone and answered blindly, mumbling a sleepy greeting.

"Bella? I am very sorry to wake you so early but I need you to come and watch the kids." She heard Cullen's voice say quietly to her. At first she thought she didn't hear him right but she realized she did, she quickly sat up and tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes.

"On a Sunday? I thought you were staying with them today too?"

"I know." He sighed loudly, sounding dejected. "But I have an emergency at work and I really need to go."

"I'm on my way." She said hanging up. She was so pissed at him suddenly. He couldn't even keep his promise to stay with Esmeralda and Car for the week-end and she could already imagine the disappointment on their faces. She rode her bike to the Cullen villa and found the door open with Edward waiting for her; already dressed for work.

She couldn't even look at him at this moment, feeling disgusted by his behavior. Bella pushed her way inside completely ignoring him. The lights were still out so she assumed that the children were still sleeping.

"Isabella." Edward called grabbing her wrist. She tried to shake him off but he was persistent. "Isabella, listen to me, please. Could you tell them that I am sorry? But I don't have a choice I need to go." He pleaded.

She glared at him long and hard, a feeling of protectiveness spreading through her body. "You fucking promised them." She hissed at him, taking back her wrist.

"Don't you think I know that?" he almost yelled, tugging roughly at his hair. She didn't spare him a glance and turned stubbornly the other way. She only heard him sigh loudly and close the door behind him.

She cooked a big breakfast with eggs, bacon and French toast hoping that it would soften the blow when the children would wake up but her hopes were crushed when Esme padded into the kitchen, looking around and her smile disappeared when she didn't see her uncle anywhere. Bella fiddled with her hands awkwardly.

"Listen, Esmeralda…" she started but the little girl stopped her.

"He left, didn't he?" Esme asked in a cold hard voice, the same as when Bella met her. Bella could only nod, pleading with her eyes to understand.

Bella was expecting her to throw a tantrum or give any kind of reaction but Esme surprised her when she just turned around without a word and went back up the stairs, leaving a confused Bella behind.

Bella couldn't help but worry.

She was worried about the coldness that took over her eyes when she learned that Edward left.

She was worried because she felt that this time, they were really losing her for good.

* * *

**Here it is! I hope you liked it **** I want to say welcome to all the new readers and reviewers, thank you so much to all of you for the love ;)**

**The Aro thing will be explained further in the future but now you know what I mean when I said that they had to pay for Charlie's debts ;)**

**Also, I will start posting a new Darkward story soon and I hope you will come and take a look ^^**

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**Bye Pretties!**


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